Ronaldo

I’m glad they won. They’re no threat to us in any sense and their fans, collectively, deserve better than League One.

Me too. Unfortunately as a collective fanbase they’re just awful. Malicious with a victim’s mentality, so I won’t miss them. Would prefer Burnley but it’s win-win.

We definitely need a more reliable starting striker because of his injury issues but that might be the best SJP performance from a forward in our colours without a goal since Viduka against Boro in ‘09. Superb threat through.

If we finish 11th or 15th does it really matter? We all know we have a lot of mediocre (or worse) players that need replacing, and they will be.

Shaka was the better keeper, and had the better career. Pav was lovable, but was just shit. There’s no other word for it. Goalkeepers were Keegan’s blind spot.

"We're in the Premiership" he mouthed, walking directly towards a camera.

The best prickish thing he did here. Remember Anal describing it as an ‘obscene gesture’ in Monday’s Chronicle or similar.

Spending all that money and keeping Dubravka in goal? Come on, man.

Best CB I’ve ever seen. Had it all.

I really don’t think he would.

Totti, in his prime, was an unbelievable player.

At an absolute minimum I think we need a new GK, CB and LB who will both fit the mould of our internal team culture, if you like, and be an upgrade on what we have. Tough job for Howe, even with a large budget. Hopefully they’re already all over it.

Can’t see him being much of a threat in the Championship. He’s past his mediocre best.

Again, nothing we didn’t know. If we’re serious about building a good side there are a lot of players who will need to be replaced. Lascelles and Ritchie was the start of that. Next it will need to be the likes of Dubravka and Wood along with players who’ve actually done alright for the most part this season and deserve a bit of credit. The next 3 transfer windows we’re going to have to spend and be both shrewd and ruthless.

Hopefully the last time he starts a game for us. It sets completely the wrong tone for our ambition with him leading the line.

Drugs?

What the fuck is that from Wood?

As I said, he’s done OK. They’ve lost once at home under I think, and that was a robbery vs City. I wouldn’t want him anywhere near here but he’s done alright.

They were in the shit before he came, to be fair. He’s done OK.

Shearer's just not a very bright guy off the field, and has very much turned into 'one of the boys' since his retirement.

It’s called being the best ever.

I definitely agree Alan Smith’s the worst, mind. Shocking player. Nothing but red and yellow cards to show for his time here. I don’t buy the shit about him standing up as a senior player in the Championship either. He was shit there too. We looked much better with Guthrie in his place.

About 1 in 3 including penalties. He was abysmal given he was signed for £17m as a pure goalscorer and eventual captain.

Different level to Wilson. There’s nothing Wilson does better than the Ba we had for 18 months.

Not in a million years.