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Dodgy pen. Give us a dodgy pen. Please. Cisse will probably miss it

I seriously just wish he'd drop dead. The last time I hated a manager this much was Kinnear and back then, my wish almost came true.

This would be so exciting if we weren't part of it, eh?

The phrase "you make your own luck" has never been more apt though. They pile men forward, they were queuing up to score the winner. Their manager isn't scared of his own shadow. Obviously their manager isn't a fucking retard like ours are. They're still lucky though. If trying to win was the only perquisite to pulling off ridiculous escapes like they seemed destined to do for all eternity, then nobody would ever go down. Oh, we would I guess

I suppose it will be educational to watch these play Arsenal, see how bad they are.

Can't believe how unbelievably fucking lucky Wigan are.

Amazing how accurately you can predict us going into "settle for a draw" mode

Please let them lose on Monday. Please. Just one little early Christmas miracle.

There's no appreciable difference to the odds of our relegation from before today and after. Wigan got some much-needed points but Norwich and Sunderland have been thrown right back into it. If Sunderland lose tomorrow it's squeaky bum time for them. Less of a gap with the bottom three but potentially more teams in between. It's still a coin flip I think.

Hopefully they think of him as the nice retarded uncle they have to love and care for.

We can't possibly have finished fifth last season. I imagined everything, right?

Speaking of mike, seems he's been keeping a low profile since his team won 6-0. Either that or he's changed his avatar, again. He's Pardew. That's why he never shows us his face. That's why he acts so hard to seem American, up to and including saying that he doesn't know what's wrong with having used to support Liverpool. That's why he can't bear to post in football anymore. It all makes sense now.

Which one of the admins is Pardew. Probably Mike.

Wullie has his moments but he's become a bit dogmatic since Pardew decided to make him right about everything.

Just out of interest.. if Ben Arfa does stay beyond this summer, I assume you will retract that? Tsk tsk, the rules are that if it comes true he gets to chew out everyone and if it doesn't we just act like nothing happened.

On the back of 1 baseless fucking tweet ffs Hence the word "if"? Ah yes 'if' two wonderful letters that allow people to randomly bleat over things that havent/wont ever happen Ah, forgot that we're only allowed to talk about facts on the internet now. That must be why it disappeared completely. If it stops outbreaks of speculative dogshit smeared over the screen then it wouldnt be a bad thing something like 30% of the population of this thread have been saying we're definitely down for weeks now and you're calling out MY speculative bullshit? They are watching us painfully limp towards relegation not inventing shit themselves though I like to be more creative with my panicky meltdowns. Sue me.

It's just that the French media is so unerringly accurate whenever we buy players

Ugh, it would hurt to lose the one player we have who's genuinely fun to watch, but I have to say I don't really adore Ben Arfa to the degree that I couldn't bear him leaving. Compare him to a player like Bale or even the likes of Ronaldo/Messi. Look at the difference in natural ability (not much.) Look at the difference in output (massive.) Ben Arfa's a pretty tragic case of wasted talent and between his inconsistencies and injuries he's never going to tear the league to pieces like we all want him to. There, I've jinxed it. Watch him score twenty goals for Spurs next season.

On the back of 1 baseless fucking tweet ffs Hence the word "if"? Ah yes 'if' two wonderful letters that allow people to randomly bleat over things that havent/wont ever happen Ah, forgot that we're only allowed to talk about facts on the internet now. That must be why it disappeared completely. If it stops outbreaks of speculative dogshit smeared over the screen then it wouldnt be a bad thing something like 30% of the population of this thread have been saying we're definitely down for weeks now and you're calling out MY speculative bullshit?

Yeah, it actually wouldn't be the end of the world if we had to sell some of our better players for big fees in the summer. If you cant trust any club to claw for every penny out of the sellers and use the money earned wisely, it's probably us. The most pain would come from the emotional attachment, but with the recent performances I'm perilously close to hating everyone now anyway.

On the back of 1 baseless fucking tweet ffs Hence the word "if"? Ah yes 'if' two wonderful letters that allow people to randomly bleat over things that havent/wont ever happen Ah, forgot that we're only allowed to talk about facts on the internet now. That must be why it disappeared completely.

On the back of 1 baseless f***ing tweet ffs From an apparently accurate source. Wouldn't surprise me in the least, especially after our season. They'll lose Bale and look for quality winger. Infosport is supposedly a credible outlet, but I suppose the first step is checking whether they actually said this or not.

On the back of 1 baseless fucking tweet ffs Hence the word "if"?

If the Ben Arfa to Spurs rumors are true... Either the player has given up on us and has asked his agent to discretely find him a new club. In which case, if his attitude is representative of the majority of the squad, we're fucked. Or the club have accepted a bid before the season has ended and while we are in very real danger of relegation. In which case they're lunatics. So we're fucked. Happy days.

We're probably rinsing them for at least 15~20m or something. Enough to buy the whole new squad we'll need in the Championship