Vinny Green Balls

Just curious, who everyone's favorite player of all time is besides the usual suspects. Without doubt, mine would be Ghoerghe Hagi. I was lucky enough to see him play against Sweden in that heartbreaking quarterfinals of the '94 World Cup. A true magician with the ball at his feet...unbelievable vision...brilliant freekicks...a deceptive burst of acceleration. The man was unplayable when he felt up to it. Honorbale Mention: Michael Laudrup ---> that pass to Ebbe Sand against Nigeria in '98...a pure stroke of genius.

He's still the footballing equivalent of a Karzai, or Mubarrak. A puppet who sucked the golden cock.

Barton's not gay...it's more of an alpha male thing with him.

Barton an average player with a little extra bit of quality? Jesus Christ. Sure he was shit for us most of his time here, but we all knew the talent that he possesses. If he was an average player, just think how much better the game would be. Of course it would be an 11 on 11 MMA match, but at least there would be a lot of skill on display. And I am so confident that he is staying in January, that if he leaves, I will drink a glass of Messi's piss, provided that he sends it to California.

This. But I would say that he is worth more than 15m to us. This is why it would be madness to sell him.

Donovan seems a great fit for Everton. You guys could certainly use his pace and his passing ability once again. Btw, Niel, your avatar was a genius.

if he had him here in 1985- we would have sacked him inside 2 years- while Man utd are looking forward to near 50 trophies- seems this is a hard leason for us to learn. legend imo. This is true. He never would have survived his torrid couple of years up here. True vision by the top brass not to press the red button in 89-90 when they could have a button sucessive regimes here have been unable to keep thier hands away from, like some sort of eject button twitch it's like the history eraser button in ren and stimpy. so shiny. so tempting. so...pressable.

if he had him here in 1985- we would have sacked him inside 2 years- while Man utd are looking forward to near 50 trophies- seems this is a hard leason for us to learn. legend imo. This is true. He never would have survived his torrid couple of years up here. True vision by the top brass not to press the red button in 89-90 when they could have

Of course he is an utter bastard. But imagine if we had him. He's not such a bastard that I would protest his appointment. As far as I know, he didn't gas the Kurds...or at least he did a fantastic job in pinning it on Saddam. With the Mancs since 1986! How many managers in any sport last half that long? Bobby Bowden was with the Seminoles for around 33 years. A dour figure, but a true legend, and worthy of everyone's respect, no matter how grudging.

I think I know what his problem is. He spent 94% of the time practicing footballing cliches, 5% of the time averting blame, and 1% of the time actually working on positioning and technique. Scouts saw him and said,"This kid points and claps with the best of 'em. A legend in the making." Somebody should make a Youtube video of his best moments of pointing and clapping to the tune of 'You're the Best Around'.

Never thought I would say this about another player, but...I really hope he plays against us and suffers a season ending injury. Divine justice.

What bothers me about this whole thing is the completely distorted sense of morality that society has. Yes, Barton is a rabid animal at times. But how much worse is it that John Terry's shady antics? If anything, Barton in many ways is the anti-footballer. He comes across as a humble but opinionated guy who often sees through the veil of the footballing culture. I am not in any way justifying his flying off the handle at the drop of a hat. But most footballers can get away with being spoiled pricks who can push the envelope a lot farther than the rest of us. Barton to me seems like one of us (a very flawed man) who just happens to have massive talent at football. I would not trade him for anybody, apart from a few players who are completely outside our sites anyway.

This guy is a world class clapper. I've never seen somebody so talented at clapping at the crowd. Give him a raise. I've never been particularly impressed with him. He always strikes me as one of those desperate gambit last ditch tackle defenders, because his positioning can be real shit. I wouldn't be terribly upset to see the back of him. And his little die for the badge act for some reason irritates the piss out of me.

Was playing golf on the Nintendo and a buddy hit a hole in one. Given that he is a braggart and an all-round high-grade asshole, he said that he would suck another buddy's dick if he responded with a hole in one. The other buddy hit the flag, and utter relief appeared on both of their faces. The lesson: if you say that you are going to suck somebody's dick if they achieve something unlikely,then start flexing your jaw, for this is the true law of attraction that the Universe operates by.

This guys has the loyalty of a soldier of fortune. Does this prick want some loyalty trophy for showing loyalty after only being paid 150,000 pounds a week? Shit, I must be 1500 times more loyal, as my loyalty threshold runs at 100 pounds a week. http://www.jdmfilmreviews.com/images/name-of-the-rose-ron-pearlman.jpg Tevez backs down in frustration.

It's all soundbitastic so far. Pardew by all appearances would make a good politician. Say the right things to placate and distract the rabble.

On the bright side, if the guy jerks off a tiger, then maybe it will shame Messi into drinking his own piss.

If I ever see Shola break into a sprint I'll turn my spunk into a yoghurt and drink it like it's a really fucking nice yoghurt. You probably do that anyway. and rightly so.

http://gadgetsteria.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/gangsta-r-kelly-shower-head-300x300.jpg just an idea for the future. The Messi Trophy of Achievement.

I'm pissing myself.

In the long and storied history of great threads, this may well be the greatest thread in the Universe.

think of Russian Roulette, but replace your head with your dick, and a revolver with a fan that has a fussy motor. Must be why I support this club. Zip...I still hope for a player like Gervinho.

As a former putting-my-dick-in-a-fan enthusiast and grizzled veteran, I do see some striking similarities.

This is true. Expecting Ashley to fork over the cash for a player of his ilk is like putting your dick in a fan and hoping for the best.

It's all context. A swarm of 5-year olds running after a ball is much more interesting to watch than BSA's 19th century tactics (with a modern tit job).