Kaizero

If you say Colback five times looking in a mirror he comes out of it and makes you ginger.

Yeah, imagine if we played our own player but pretended we'd borrowed him from someone else. "He's not really ours. I swear on me mum."

You'll probably be ten minutes ahead of schedule touching down, so you'd make the second half. If you have a patient girlfriend you could send her for the luggage and have her wait outside as you head into the sportspub at the airport If not you may get lucky with the airport train and reach one just leaving, which would have you at Oslo S five minutes into the second half, and there's only about a three minute walk to a sportspub from there. She just read this and said "in your dreams" The Internet on the airport train is good, by the way. You could stream on it. I've done it before.

You'll probably be ten minutes ahead of schedule touching down, so you'd make the second half. If you have a patient girlfriend you could send her for the luggage and have her wait outside as you head into the sportspub at the airport If not you may get lucky with the airport train and reach one just leaving, which would have you at Oslo S five minutes into the second half, and there's only about a three minute walk to a sportspub from there.

Norwegian or SAS? Norwegian have wi-fi on board on most of their flights. Norwegian. Think it'll be good enough to stream? No, it's barely good enough to load an internet page It honestly all depends on how many others use it on the flight for some reason. Flown to Trondheim with them from Oslo quite a few times, and when the plane is full it's horrible, but the few times there's barely been people on it it's been alright. If it's half full and you find a low quality stream it could work. Was more thinking that you could at least keep up to date on the match on here at least. N-O's always worked for me on Norwegian flights.

Norwegian or SAS? Norwegian have wi-fi on board on most of their flights.

"I am here because they will listen to me."

http://www.footballuser.com/formations/2016/03/1424036_Dream_Team.jpg

Weird arseholes suck fucking.

Odd bet this. 12 years undefeated against Odd. 1 loss in 30 years before tonight.

£200 on Rosenborg @ 2.55

Rafa Benitez 180 (73.5%) Nigel Pearson 2 (0.8%) Brendan Rodgers 19 (7.8%) David Moyes 19 (7.8%) Roberto di Matteo 3 (1.2%) Sean Dyche 3 (1.2%) Tim Sherwood 0 (0%) Garry Monk 0 (0%) Harry Redknapp 4 (1.6%) Christophe Galtier 1 (0.4%) Alan Shearer 5 (2%) Joe Kinnear 9 (3.7%)

I've not been this happy about anything football related in years. I was dead inside with regards to NUFC.

Yep, that's the one. Luckily I didn't include them on any big bets, but annoying still as my long shots had them on with dnb.

Put £5 on this plus Steakbake DNB - 39/1 Fucking Norway fwiw it was absolutely bullshit and Stabæk should've won had they just known how to finish I watched the last 20 minutes, missed about 6 chances One of the last chances when it was basically an open goal

Put £5 on this plus Steakbake DNB - 39/1 Fucking Norway fwiw it was absolutely bullshit and Stabæk should've won had they just known how to finish

Tippeliga insights #1 Friday 6pm Aalesund - Stabæk 2.14 - 3.70 - 3.20 Can Billy McKinley follow the success of Bob Bradley? Will the Riise brothers make Aalesund competitive again, or are they both too old now? The first match of the season is always hard to call, but looking at the teams and the competency of the sides, I would still want to back Stabæk for this one. That said, I'd not dare going beyond a DNB as a draw could be a very likely outcome. I do not think Aalesund will win. Saturday 5pm Odd - Rosenborg 2.75 - 3.50 - 2.50 Absolutely delightful odds on Rosenborg. Odd are a good side, and whilst they will be up there this season Rosenborg are on a different level. Rosenborg have however lost key players in Søderlund and Sælnes to St. Etienne, but they have replaced them well with Gytkjær and others. They will win this. Sunday 2:30pm Molde - Tromsø 1.42 - 4.75 - 7.50 Not even a contest. Molde will win, probably by more than one goal. Tromsø's biggest signing this season is Morten Gamst Pedersen. He's old and slow now. Molde have some of the best young players in the league and one of the best managers in the league. It's top versus bottom even if it's the first round. Sunday 5pm Bodø/Glimt - Sogndal 2.10 - 3.50 - 3.45 Now things are getting harder. These two teams will be in the lower part of the league, and ended the season last year on different levels. Bodø/Glimt went on a winning run whilst Sogndal fell together like a house of cards. Out of the two teams, Bodø/Glimt appears stronger. They will finish lower mid table whilst Sogndal will struggle in the relegation battle. This is the first match of the season, and whilst I will go for Bodø/Glimt in this guess, I'd avoid this match. Sarpsborg 08 - Haugesund 2.15 - 3.50 - 3.35 Another hard one. Sarpsborg have strenghtened greatly whilst Haugesund have lost their top scorer to Rosenborg. They have an exciting man in Mark Dempsey as their manager, but it's not enough. I think this will be a draw, but don't include this one. This may end up 0-0 so avoid for goal bets as well. Strømsgodset - Brann 1.63 - 4.10 - 5.15 Finally another simple one. Newly promoted Brann against one of the best teams in Norway the past four-five years. Strømsgodset have only strenghtened as well. They will win this, maybe even by more than one goal. Sunday 7pm Start - Lillestrøm 2.74 - 3.50 - 2.50 Start will get relegated this season. Lillestrøm will finish in higher mid table. These odds are lying. Lillestrøm will take this match. Monday 6pm Vålerenga - Viking 2.20 - 3.40 - 3.30 Impossible to call. Both teams will be around 3rd to 5th in the league at the end of the season. They have strong squads. I''ll give Vålerenga this one as a DNB due to Abdellaoue looking like he's back to his old scoring form and because they're at home. Double: Rosenborg Molde Treble: Rosenborg Molde Strømsgodset Quadruple: Rosenborg Molde Strømsgodset Lillestrøm You got big balls: Rosenborg Molde -1 Strømsgodset -1 Lillestrøm Bodø/Glimt Over 1.5s: Aalesund - Stabæk Odd - Rosenborg Molde - Tromsø Strømsgodset - Brann Vålerenga - Viking

Poll reset. 1 3 (1.6%) 2 2 (1%) 3 0 (0%) 4 1 (0.5%) 5 1 (0.5%) 6 6 (3.1%) 7 3 (1.6%) 8 25 (13.1%) 9 61 (31.9%) 10 89 (46.6%)

You jammy f***, Penn was only taking this p*ss n'al I made a paltry 44 quid. Didn't make anything from Benitez, but £1540 from McClaren's sacking

Just made that comment on Facebook, haha

Norwich 0 - 3 Man City Bournemouth 2 - 1 Swansea Stoke 2 - 2 Southampton Aston Villa 0 - 3 Tottenham Leicester 2 - 2 Newcastle

Only in a strictly geographical sense. Not even that. Ireland is not in Britain. Hughton was born in England but identifies as Irish. He knows the craic. Joe Kinnear was born in Dublin and represented Ireland so no idea where Hans is going with that one. Identifies as Irish http://i.imgur.com/psuCTOA.jpg