Gallowgate Toon

He's blatantly reading this

The board have sympathy for Carver? Bloody clueless, as we all already know.

Please tell me that wasn't an actual thing? Word for word.

'If I had 11 Jack Colbacks in my team, the fans would love it' :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Carver thinks this is the 90s and we've got good enough players to just say 'go on, lads, do what you want'. That's why John fucking Anderson does my head in, he just seems to think the answer is the players need to pull their socks up like football isn't a far more nuanced game than that now.

No quick, strong or tall set piece defenders, so we give them a fucking huge gap to aim into

EXPERIENCE. ENGLISH. PASHUN.

Jonas on the wing?

I wasn't disputing that, I was just showing that they don't class them as the same thing when presenting the info. Anyway, I don't dispute that Cabella's lack of acceleration is a hindrance, TCD. But he's not a truly direct wide player like Hatem was, he made his name in France as a playmaker that could move where he pleased, floating between the lines and linking with team mates. He wasn't really ever isolated or based his game largely around dribbling. I do think he can be a success in this league, but it would either take him playing in his preferred position or a much more astute (and brave) tactical set up to make it work.

That's not the point, though, Messi's strong on the ball. Cabella's extremely weak on it. He's still dispossessed more often than Cabella (1,9 per game). Granted he probably gets far more on the ball than Cabella. It's just that Cabella's stat doesn't sound that terrible to me. Because Messi loses it when he runs at people. Cabella loses it a lot when he is going nowhere but just gets muscled off the ball, which never happens Messi Obviously, comparing Messi to Cabella is completely futile, but Whoscored don't actually class being dispossessed as a failed dribble. In their terms - 'Dispossessed: Player is dispossessed on the ball by an opponent – no dribble involved'. They use a failed dribble as a separate statistic. In Messi's case (La Liga, not other comps), he attempts 8.5 dribbles a game on average and is successful with 4.6 of them. He's dispossessed 1.9 times per match and has 1.2 unsuccessful touches.

Surely this would be included in the 'dispossessed' stat? His dispossession for the season has been 1.7 times per game on average, which really isn't bad at all.

Well, he 'beats' his man, on average, 2.2 times a game. I've not found how many attempts he makes, yet. What does this rubbish even mean? Next you'll be telling me Sol Campbell's the quickest player in our squad . It means he successfully dribbles past his man, on average, 2.2 times a season. Sounds pretty s*** imo. Already edited

Well, he 'beats' his man, on average, 2.2 times a game. I've not found how many attempts he makes, yet. What does this rubbish even mean? Next you'll be telling me Sol Campbell's the quickest player in our squad . It means he successfully dribbles past his man, on average, 2.2 times a game.

How many times does Cabella get on the ball compared to those players? Not as much, I'd imagine, but those players have the benefit of not attacking in 2s or 3s and actually have players that move and support one another. He's also clearly a player that prefers to pass and move, IMO, so I don't think his numbers would really change all that much.

Well, he 'beats' his man, on average, 2.2 times a game. I've not found how many attempts he makes, yet.

Also, he could play wide in a proper system, like Mata does at Man U. Although, that'd require us getting more bodies forward and much better movement.

Over the season, Cabella's been dispossessed 1.7 times a game on average (I'd be very interested to see what it's been like post-Xmas). Hardly much of a problem, is it? To put that into context against players of a similar ilk: David Silva: 2.4 per game Juan Mata: 1.2 per game Eden Hazard: 2.9 per game

Not a whiff of hyperbole there, like.

He didn't cost £13m either.

Only Colback, Tiote, Janmaat and Guiterrez have made more successful tackles per game than Cabella this season, and only Sissoko has averaged more successful dribbles per game. Saying his physicality isn't up to it is a bit of a lazy criticism, IMO. I think he's certainly unsuited to a wide position with the team in its current format/under the current management, mind.

Eurgh. They may well not give a shit, but why should they, when they play for a club as unambitious as we are? It's not like they have a sentimental link to us, and the overriding message from the hierarchy is that fans mean very little. You can see how lost some of them are. They've no belief in the management, the club's ethos and it's not like there's much leadership on the pitch to compensate either. It's fucking desperate. Carr's role at the club is pointless too as there's not a suitable manager for the players he recommends.

It's almost as if it's the manager's job to motivate the players, Alan.

Our sitting back after we scored, btw

The players look absolutely lost, like.

I know a lad further down the leagues who played with him at youth level. He said he was an absolute nutter at 18.