B-more Mag

Pro sports operate in an alternate reality where people can pretty much do whatever the fuck they want to do.

Yeah, no doubt. He's honoring his contract by coming to the games and training. So we can leave it here, and wonder if we're getting 100 percent from a guy that wants to leave when we can't afford to wonder that, or we can thank him for the years and get the best deal and move on. No need to hate, no feeling betrayed. Just a stoic acceptance that our passion is a business. What he's asking for is nowhere close to the best financial deal for both parties.

Except he's got a contractual obligation.

He turns 31 tomorrow. Who lets their father talk for them at that age? Ridiculous.

Be on the lookout for a call from 'Arry.

Our signings do not have a good history of this. See Bigi.

Sometimes I hate Wikipedia. http://i.imgur.com/4UuquzI.png

I think people are losing sight of the fact that he can ride a bike and eat an apple at the same time. We need this in a time of crisis. Should he play football for us again? No. Should he eat our apples and ride our bikes? Yes, yes, yes!

I certainly can't remember another manager having had as much patience with the fans as Pardew has. It's hardly the main point, but if any jip aimed at him was obviously audible, we're bound to get branded impatient or ungrateful by the media bods. Which, as I say, hardly matters... but will be irritating all the same. LWLLWLDDWLDLDWDLLLLWLLWLLLDL. Where does he own pride come it to overide his ego and arrogance. Surely he must start seeing it himself or is he really that arrogant. Absolutely not. This is the biggest gig he'll ever get. He's riding this pony home until the bitter end. Even to the destruction of our Premiership future, would sum him up if it happened. He would 100% stay if even we went down. I need some gin, whiskey, scotch, a bottle of Jacob's creek and i don't even drink No better time to start.

At this point anybody who would let the team actually play would be perfect.

Any sentient being.

Dear Mr. Ashley: This letter is to respectfully request that you remove your thumb from your rectum and address the serious matter of Newcastle United's impending relegation. If you would turn your attention to this matter, I am sure you would find that you currently employ an inept baboon as your manager. While I am sure you and the club are fervent supporter of animal rights, I am equally sure you would agree that the job of a Premier League manager is much too burdensome for any baboon, much less an inept one. Fortunately the matter can be resolved simply by appointing any living human being as manager -- any living, breathing human, just pick one. Any one. While this will not necessarily guarantee remaining in the Premiere League, it is your last best chance to continue lining your pockets with television income sufficient to stuff your gullet with the sweets you so desperately crave. Thanking you for your attention to this matter, I remain Very Spitefully Yours, B-More Mag

His position is completely untenable now.

Pathetic. Utterly fucking pathetic. If we don't score again . . .

Perch for Marveaux? WTF?!

Fucking beautiful!!!

Spoiler for god's sake!

There was a rollercoaster picture of Cisse just about when he signed.

Because when it was initially posted the first report led us to believe it was practically done So the fact that now that turned out to be untrue didn't change the mood of the board? The thread title is just going to keep getting further and further away from a deal. http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/squidward1.gif What's Obertan got to do with it?

Mapou is fun to say.

He's a CB? Obviously can't be true.

All I know is the whole football transfer business seems shady as all get out.

That's a bit different than agreeing a fee and then backing out for a higher one. (If that is what actually happened.)

This may be our last good option.

Right on. We need to add a no shop provision to our bids.