Elbel1

Mike Ashleys dad getting so pissed at Christmas 1963 he couldn't put on a condom

Fingers crossed

Ohhhhh no you wouldn't

Confident that I won't be the first to say this but Rob M on Twitter is comfortably the biggest bellend associated with the NUFC social media crowd

Really can't see Will Still and his brothers leaving 5th top Reims and his status as one of Europes upcoming coaches to risk it all at a midtable Championship side with a limited budget. Surely he'll have an eye out for a Premiership club or at least a Championship club with parachute payments and money to spend. Somewhere like Brentford, Brighton or West Ham when their current manangers move on. Possibly Burnley or Forest if they go down although the Forest job could be a challenge with the owner. For some reason I can see him rocking up at Crystal Palace and being a good fit.

I could definitely get behind that show just for the amount of sweepstakes I run at work. First gammon to have their hard drive checked First to be photographed with Farage First to stand in an election and lose their deposit First to have their marriage break down live on screen First to keel over with a cardiac while watching a trans rights debate on the Jeremy Vine show First to be have Dark Justice turn up on their doorstep during Coronation Street The possibilities are endless

Possibly Everton with their 777 takeover in the pipeline also I seem to remember that Burnley voted against the 'Fair market value' stipulation but i may have imagined that

We also need Man City to replace Pep with Steve Bruce

Obafemi Tonali or Sandro Martins You get the idea

People using speaker phone in public places Using the word 'cheeky' to describe Nando's David Walliams

Decent effort but there's no way that chant is taking off

“I said, ‘look, I’m the only negative left’. The euphoria of Newcastle, the support, the crowd, everything about it, it was as if the doom and gloom had shifted and it was euphoric. And they’ve had an unbelievable rise in 18 months to two years. “But I had to say to them ‘you might have to take me out of the equation’. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say, but I realised it was what was best for the club because everything was euphoric around it. The only negative was me.” "Then they asked if I would be prepared to resign and leave with some dignity but without a payoff, obviously I told them there was no chance that was going to happen and immediately booked a jolly up in Dubai for me, the Steve's and my idiot son. Absolute jackpot"

Give us a V Give us an A Give us an L etc. etc. etc.

The guy with the NUFC tattoo is full EDL according to twitter. Not sure what he has against Real Madrid with the 'No Hala' nonsense

Think the quote under the pic was something like 'Not even the fattest bloke I've seen this morning and I've been in the house by myself all day'

Fair to say that Football 365 don't think much of Edwards https://www.football365.com/news/hannah-dingley-marcus-rashford-problem-newcastle-journalist-saudi-forest-green

Not sure about Fowler bur Gerrards new gig is definitely NOT a PIF club

You can't post that and not include a link

That wasn't even a club doctor Adam Pearsons next video is going to be all kinds of epic

I think the Milan Pizza shop in South Shields is always on the look out for new delivery drivers

As its an historical case I'm going to play the odds and guess Woy at Palace

He makes us sing and he makes us dance He's a superstar and he's not from France He's Barrella, la, la, la, Barrella We're the the most passionate fans in the land We've got Jason Tindal, Migi Almiron and Barella La la la Barella *blatantly plagiarized from Ginolas song

Nicky Butt Purely for the overhead clearance

Michael Owen on pundit duties. Kill me now

I don't see how anyone can get a grip on that dressing room Too many egos, most of whom will expect to be playing or at least on the bench There was an article in the Athletic that said the dressing room had to be made bigger as there wasn't enough space for all of the first team squad Apparently some of them were sitting on the floor during team meetings That's without any signings that Poch himself will be asking for in the summer