Elbel1

That's a hell of a weekly wage Replacing Targett as the highest earner?

Has to be better at playing the game than he writes about it

If Graham Bailey is having a stopped clock moment and being right about something, I confidently predict that by 2028 he will be either sold to Real Madrid for in excess of £100 million or on loan at Panathinaikos. There is no middle ground.

We should put forward a new proposal that newly relegated teams can't be promoted for a minimum of 3 seasons

My idea was to have our XI stand in a bigger circle around them and then refuse to move when the Chelsea huddle finishes. Extra touch would be to hold hands and skip around them singing 'ring of roses'

Is he? When did that happen?

Can 100% see Linkedin Liam appearing on The High Performance podcast and say they named it wrong. It should be The Highest Performance.

Lescott itching to get away and blow the safe in NatWest on Northumberland Street

Lescott dressed like he's going on a bank job at full time

And that's him not taking the bait. Biggest bites I've seen since Casimero took Mbeumo to Fat Toni's for a 34 inch pizza.

He probably has a podcast to promote but he's blessed with the personality of an abandoned dishcloth so has to find another way to create engagement on social media

Does that go down as another assist for the 2nd best Bruno in the Premier League?

Could you give it to @andyman grannie so he doesn't miss the game?

Their best performance in Europe was when the Massive Lads Fans fought off the vikings who attempted to board their boat on route to the away leg against Vasas Budapest

Arrested while painting black stripes on the roundabouts in Pennywell?

Even Paddy Power are taking the piss

No chance City will be home to Mansfield (or Macclesfield if they beat Brentford)

That one was described as 'six of one, and half a dozen of another' by Danny 'thicker than the glass in a tiger enclosure' Murphy

Red all day and twice in a Sunday

Does Danny Murphy have a side job as Morgan Rodgers agent?

What you need is an experienced head. Someone who has played at the highest level. Someone with over 100 international caps. Someone who isn't afraid to dish out some hometruths. Someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind. Someone like.......

Pick him up in the summer when Spurs have a relegation firesale

Looks like the pasta Nonce is about to be exposed as a shill for hire. I'd be amazed if Ornstein doesn't run a similar scam.

To be fair to the AI, it's managed to capture Paul Scholes current media MO by making him look disappointed in the younger version of himself

Brexit Jim really hopes so