Elbel1

On his to do list for his next job at Fenerbahce

I'd quite like to see him play at St James' next season. Just as long as he's not wearing a Newcastle kit.

Farewell sweet prince

I can definitely understand him moving. At the moment his stock is as high as it's likely to get at Lincoln as he's already massively over achieved. If he struggles next season, which is more than likely, the job offers will suddenly dry up. No shame in maximising any opportunities that come his way as he's earned them. At the same time, Funtime Frankie can fuck right off. Tory prick.

But with corn dogs, spray cheese and ICE agents

The only things to worry about would be the institutional racism and if your kids would make it home from school without getting shot

His loan is over now so he'll be back at Man Utd. And because they qualified for Champions League his wages will be back up to 100%

To be fair, his suits are only tight because his tailor finds him impossible to measure accurately. His tape measure disappears into the flesh like a cheese wire.

He also has the build of an over inflated space hopper and the personality of an 8 year old with a Haribo sugar rush

Sunderland picked up a ridiculous 22 points (2nd most in the league) from losing positions last season. Surely that wasn't their game plan and can't be sustainable going into next season. Likewise, we only gained 3 points from losing positions which I'm confident will be improved on immensely next season.

The 4 years left on his contract means Everton can demand a massive fee. So big that if you wrote it on a piece of paper, it would be longer than Pickfords arms.

Jimmy? He's a small town boy.

Hope is ideal when covering a club in disarray He is also the polar opposite when trying to deliver positive narratives Wouldn't be a surprise to learn that his favourite characters in Harry Potter are the Dementors who live to suck joy and happiness from the world

Mark Douglas has a new article but it's not worth the bandwidth it took to download. Basically we've employed an AI expert from silicon valley to work under/with Suds. Douglas then asked another data company to suggest signings that would improve Newcastle United. One of the names was Elliott Anderson.

Burnley? With Kyle Walker? The local sex workers will be getting their overtime sheets ready now

Got another 3 years of Chelsea having that 'word champions' monstrosity on the front of their shirts because of Diet Pep

He should definitely be left back. Left back in the dressing room. I'll get my coat

Barnes

Only a sith deals in absolutes

How about 6 month at Madrid, then a few months of rest before replacing Eddie next summer?

Never seen a football before and 4ft tall?

I can see the summer window being a bit of a damp squid

Elanga leveller - When a team is drawn against an opponent from 2 leagues below them, they are forced to play Anthony Elanga on the right wing to make the game more competitive.

Multi ball action - An extra ball is brought into play every 5 min during extra time. Red means danger - In the event of a red card, the player to be sent off is selected by the opposing teams manager.