Elbel1

Burnley? With Kyle Walker? The local sex workers will be getting their overtime sheets ready now

Got another 3 years of Chelsea having that 'word champions' monstrosity on the front of their shirts because of Diet Pep

He should definitely be left back. Left back in the dressing room. I'll get my coat

Barnes

Only a sith deals in absolutes

How about 6 month at Madrid, then a few months of rest before replacing Eddie next summer?

Never seen a football before and 4ft tall?

I can see the summer window being a bit of a damp squid

Elanga leveller - When a team is drawn against an opponent from 2 leagues below them, they are forced to play Anthony Elanga on the right wing to make the game more competitive.

Multi ball action - An extra ball is brought into play every 5 min during extra time. Red means danger - In the event of a red card, the player to be sent off is selected by the opposing teams manager.

Goal keeper Terrible on crosses etc etc etc

He puts me in mind of a slightly pathetic Stephen Merchant

That's with the break clause activated. They were looking at £20+ million to pay up the full 6 years remaining on his contract

Over the last 10 years all the clubs you name checked have qualified for Europe a massive combined total of 3 times. If your goal is midtable obscurity and to mildly flirt with a top 10 finish then it's much safer to take a gamble on players in the 10-30 million bracket. That in no way excuses the club for their approach last summer but it does, to a certain degree, explain it.

Gentle reminder that LinkedIn Liam signed a contract until 2032. He'll do well to last 6 months, let alone 6 years.

That's a pretty low bar seeing as I've scored the same number of Premier League goals as Elanga this season and I only have 1 less assist.

Fully expect the leadership team to arrange another of their semi regular squad meetings away from Eddie and Tindall. Hopefully it will include Big Joelinton dishing out an 'encouragement beating' to Elanga. Wouldn't be at all surprised to see a reaction and sneak a 1-0 win, especially if Bruno starts, Ramsdale is switched out for Pope and Elanga is left in Newcastle.

There's been a lot of hyperbole in this thread with people claiming he's League 1 at best, unable to control a ball, incapable of making the right decision and even that there's 'better players in the Sunday league'. After yesterday's showing I have to say that I agree with these sentiments. Apart from the Sunday League nonsense, but even that's not quite as ridiculous as it was at the time.

The same ultras who are so terrified of their neighbours Millwall they decided that their 'derby' was Brighton?

From The Athletic and posted without comment Premier League assistant referee Richard West is expected to retain his appointment for Manchester United against Leeds United on Monday despite facing allegations of inappropriate behaviour towards a female employee in his role as a sergeant at Humberside Police. The 51-year-old is the subject of a gross misconduct hearing slated for April 27 after a female colleague in the police force lodged a complaint against the official

I think he was genuinely impressed by how the club looked after him during his ban, and realises that they could have handled it differently. Can you imagine if he signs for Man Utd and gets another 12 month ban? Ratcliffe would have him cutting the grass and working in the turnstiles

From memory, I think Jose had a clause in his contract where he got a massive bonus if he won a cup. Levy wanted him out and decided it wasn't worth the risk of waiting until after the final.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's using this as an opportunity to see if Man Utd are still interested