Pilko

I'll help sort it out again if you like, Greg. I reckon the 3G would be fine unless anyone else has any problems. I have no problem with that date as far as I can see, but closer to the time I'll confirm. Yeah, put me down please.

Stuff getting fit. I can't wait to feature against you lot as the fattest, slowest, shittest player there is maaan! Better get eating then if you want to beat Nixon

Hoddle and youngsters? Wasn't it him who played a centre-half up front during a criplling injury crisis and didn't even include any young lads on the bench, deciding to stick 2 keepers and a half-injured striker on there instead?

Was it you who set me up for my goal with that beautiful outside-of-the-foot curved through ball, marky? Whoever it was deserves a because it was the best through ball all game.

You musn't have noticed me in the first half then.

There was at least 2 occasions when I thought that you were Dave. Wearing the same colour t-shirt and both about four foot two.

I'm not exactly Billy fucking Whizz like, I only have some form of 'pace' (generous calling it that tbh) because I've got such long legs.

And in response to stupeedo's thing about me being disappointing... First half, I admit I was totally fucking shocking. To be fair, I did get a couple of decent flicked headers in but the wind kind of scuppered any proper long ball approach. I dropped a bit deeper when we were defending and 'Alan Smithed' my way through the first 45 by closing down the centre backs and keeper. And to be fair I did go back for every single corner, even one when I was in the opposition 18-yard box from the last attack. Was shocked during our half time team talk that despite going 4-4-1 to keep some kind of shape, they wanted me to continue alone upfront after that dismal showing. Managed to grab that goal which I was relieved at and then that run to set up The Prophet showed I was growing into the game a bit. Of course, I always had company upfront in this 4-4-1 by Nixon who seemed to forget he was playing right back and just stood in the centre circle for 95% of the second half, telling me to "drag paddock out wide right, he's rubbish" and then trying to gallop half the length of the pitch when presented with the ball. Then had a shot in the closing stages that fizzed across goal, and spent the last ten minutes trying to stay onside, just waiting for the killer pass (nowt to lose and that). A slower-off-his-line keeper would have seen me grab about four goals, there was a couple of times that NSG just about beat me to the ball when it was played through, and the time I scored we got there at the same time and it fell for me to tap it into an open goal. Fair play to him though, he was class. And then of course there was that cross at the end of the first half from Venkman on the left that I managed to knee out for a throw in. Good game though, looking forward to the next one. Maybe earlier in the day?

dave i dont think any amount of proper grass is gonna help that mate :-[ At least I could TRY properly then. haha aye, there'll be some very tasty challenges on proper grass i reckon. btw i was surprised by how young everyone was in general Im still waiting to be told i dont look 40,.... 39...

aye, The Prophet looked about 13. And I swear Dave was trying to nibble at my kneecaps while he ran past...

Mate you should have seen our HT team talk it was like 300. I don't know who but the lad on the left wing for us was like " I wouldn't want to change now like". Commitment man! So who are the non attenders Jawesome and GG? and pegasus bridge. aye we talked about asking for the keeper to change teams but we woulda had to swap one of our players and we were all red or dead. pilko - i was being modest, you're supposed to say 'nah mate that was a difficult chance' or next time you're not getting a lift. and aye that one that came back of the post i f***ed up big time, less said about your 'finish' from my left wing cross the better though eh? good defensive claerance tbh :colo: What, you mean when I managed to knee it out for a throw in?

Our tactics could have been better like, the wind stopped us using long ball as much. And no-one seemed to try and use Nixon's rocket pace and set him one-on-one...

this is a lot of crap, like i'd miss a penalty.

You said in the car it was a sitter! :colo: I mean when the ball came back off the post and you hit the keeper, btw. Still, it wasnt as bad as Wullie's miss one-on-one.

am i getting a 0? fair enough, felt like nicky butt for the last 20 christ, sorry mate!

Aye, can't wait to see the photos.

It was a Napoli shirt, pedro.

was the blue keeper nufc_kev? anyway whoever it was he was class.

I got three assists, I'm having more than a 5 like! To be fair I was at the other end of the pitch for much of the game, but when I did see you (including that awful one-on-one) you weren't exactly world class

Player ratings of those I can remember: Reds: Optimistic Nut: 8, rock at the back and good in nets Northerngimp: 7, was superb second half but takes shit corners The Prophet: 6.5, good goal and made a few od last-ditch tackles Lien: 6.5, some decent passes in midfield Nixon: 6, the team didn't utilise his rocket pace enough marky555: 8.5, mercurial stu (I think he was the bloke with the white hat and stubble) 7.5, linked up play well Me: 7, did fuck all in the first half but grabbed a goal and an assist Toby: 8, some lovely touches Blues: King Kev: 8, came off his line superbly Wullie: 5, can see why there was some Shola catcalls Dave: 6, tried to bite my kneecaps cp40: 7.5, cracking goal Rich: 8, kept me quiet for most of the game anyway stupeedo 9.5, man of the match, ran the midfield Greg: 7, solid can't remember many else tbh, sorry! Blues:

Prophet got the red goal after mine because I set him up, jinky run and all that. Man of the match: stupeedo, ran the midfield Goal of the match: cp40's, the jamy bastard Vital contribution: King Kev, came off his line time and time again to mop up through balls. Sportsmanship award: Wullie for kicking the ball out after ON hurt himself. Ref rating: 9/10, can't complain

There was 2 big fat ones in red shirts tbh...

tape them ffs! come to this

COME AND FIND OUT PEDRO!!! KICK OFF IS AT 6pm come on!!! we can talk big brother...

I look forward to the photos etc back after the match, and of course the inevitable jokes about who people look or sound like.