Pilko

He couldn't even get a game for the Eastenders team that was just on before. Although, I guess then it'd have Max and Tan in the same side, bad-um-tish.

what the hell, I thought the thread title change was for an actual reason

http://u.goal.com/139700/139706hp2.jpg Danny Simpson, 2009-2012 Goodnight, sweet prince.

There's no way they'd use the wording they have done unless they'd received some concrete info from someone reliable at the club, the press officer, Llambias, Pardew, Carver or Charnley etc.

EVERYBODY GO FUCKING MENTAL

Nicky Butt's curler against Everton at SJP (we won 3-2, Owen and Emre also scored).

Not a chance in hell we'd look to sell him. He'd only go if we got a Carroll-esque mega money bid, which is unlikely.

Boy I wish we had Anal around to tell us that the Twitter account is wide of the mark.

Wouldn't be surprised at all to see him travel with us for pre-season and then sign a new one-year deal should we fuck up our attempts at getting a striker in.

He came on against Arsenal and looked useful, he then started a lot of games such as Sunderland, Villa and Wolves away and looked absolutely disgusting. His major problem for me is his ball retention, he loses it so fucking often. A lot of our possession breaks down when it goes near him.

I imagine a lot of the mackems to be like the Shelbyville residents who're drinking 'Fudd' outside the petrol station, remarking that 'Springfield suck, and that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time'.

Deffo think Lovenkrands vs Blackpool should be included, was a great hit.

Why hasn't Tavernier signed yet? He said he wanted to stay, Pardew wants to keep him and said he'd be at the club '100%' for the coming season.

Hope he scores a fucktonne.

And the Pards fist-pumpage when Tiote scored.

Aye, love that goal.

Nobby scored a cracking free kick against Bolton, I think we won 3-1. I remember Shola scored our third after trapping Emre's drive and slamming it home. Sibierski against Reading is a cracking header too, great ball in from Nobby and a great twist and dive from Le Sib.

Ryan Taylor over the wall has to be included.

N'Zogbia at Middlesbrough under Allardyce, absolutely amazing goal. Also, Viduka's diving header vs West Ham.

Have taken: Balotelli hattrick @ 66/1 Balotelli, Spain 2-1 @ 85/1 Busquets first card @ 11/1 Italy -1 @ 17/2 all small stakes, still £42 in profit for the tournament no matter what

Marlon Harewood vs QPR, absolutely belting strike In all seriousness, I like Lovenkrands away at Blackpool towards the tail end of 10/11

Nolan's winner against Doncaster at home was a cracker.

Danny Guthrie vs Fulham this season

Solano at Elland Road in the 4-3 Tiote vs Arsenal

Cabaye free kick against Man U this season Emre's free kick against the Mackems Duff vs Spurs in the relegation season N'Zogbia at the Stadium of Light in the 4-1 Milner vs Man U on New Years Day