Ketsbaia

Sell Werner, buy Haaland. Easy.

Holy shit, we're getting some mental scores of late.

4-3 and 2 Ajax red cards. Mental.

Love watching this Ajax play, especially Ziyech.

He's a bag of revels.

More Bruce bathroom visions?

The Totally Football Show described ASM and Almiron as 'chaos theory on legs' and that seems about right.

First green arrow in ages to stop the freefall Happy with that considering the Man City triple-up backfired and I still don't have Mane. 74pts thanks to Soyuncu, Lundstram, Abraham, Vardy etc. Even had Rico's clean sheet and Hayden's assist stuck on the bench.

Was thinking Spurs could easily get red reversed but VAR actually gave that red? Keep VAR and there'll be no football fans in a couple of generations time.

FA and Premier League need to fucking fix this. November and it's already a farce, god knows how worse it's going to get.

It'd feel like such a bad fit. Feels like Arsenal would be selling their soul in order to chase 3rd place.

Love a bit of Stengs and Boadu

Relegation makes us less attractive to a buyer and I'm not even sure it'd piss Ashley off.

When I'm on the loo tonight, I'll remember how good we were today.

That pass from Jorginho was obscene

Doing ok, apart from having Sterling ©, De Bruyne and Aguero That went badly but Lundstram and Alexander-Arnold delivered, would've been even better if unfit Cantwell wasn't thrown on with 5 mins to go - Rico clean sheet left on the bench!

My plan is to sit around and not watch these pricks

Can't wait to see them turn FPP into an anti-Mag catchphrase EDIT: Fuck the Pony Punchers.

5-5, man. Bruce's head must be exploding at such attacking play. This match has about 7 months worth of NUFC goals.

Hayden S Longstaff Almiron ASM Joelinton Gayle/New striker

They won't scrap it but the noise to alter it is already deafening - all the fans, pundits, players.

Points are similar and performances are just as dull but with Rafa there was at least a belief that it could get better one day. This is Bruce's ceiling.

I don't even have a pulse on matchdays anymore. There's just nothing likeable - I hate the owner, don't like the manager, not bothered about most of the players, even half of the fanbase are knackers. The stadium is dirty and decked out in cheap SD shite, the kits are shit, we get these monthly takeover stories that even the journalists don't believe and protests are always half-arsed because there's some weird North East pride in just willingly taking shit with a smile and a Stevie Taylor fistpump. There's nothing to cheer for, nothing to care about and no hope for the future. The only recognisable feature that makes the heart flutter is the name Newcastle United. That's it. Cheers, Ashley.

Carroll, Cisse..... let's get Marlon Harewood in too.