Ketsbaia

We can't score, can't defend - the most dangerous combo around. We're so slow, predictable and lack any dynamism with the ball. Transitions are slow, we can't get in behind the defence and we don't even have set pieces to bail us out. Another 10 hours and we still wouldn't have scored. Huge changes are needed for Watford, which is already a must win. Drop Cisse, drop Sissoko and play Perez and De Jong, who looked good after coming on. We're in trouble.

Mahrez is absolutely magical, like. What a player! He's took me up to 59 for the week, a season-high.

Ergh, Richards on the bench.

He made me hate football, he made me contemplate wanting my team to lose. He is scum and will never be forgiven.

49 with Mahrez to go. Not bad considering the captain totalled 2.

2 stunning goals, there. Love them both.

I was on the verge of 4/4 clean sheets, then Alex McCarthy and Russell Martin conceded. Bollocks.

Tastes delicious.

Hoolahan goal as well. I love this game

Hoolahan assist

Aguero ©. I fucking hate this game.

No Sterling or Silva for City, De Bruyne on the bench. Mane on Southampton's bench.

This is best

Courtois is out for 3-4 months, apparently.

Yep. I have Silva and Courtois This half-decent week will never happen, will it?

England couldn't get near the World Cup with decent players and world-renowned managers, I think we're safe.

I remember when I tweeted an innocent joke about their empty seats and, within half an hour, dozens had ganged up on me, went through really old tweets and called me a paedophile because I have thick-rimmed glasses. Standard, classy stuff.

Cheers for that. I really enjoyed Inverting the Pyramid, but it could be seen as too much. Just downloaded some Blizzards too.

'Touching Distance' was decent and I've just bought 'Das Reboot', looking into how German football reinvented itself. Any other recommendations? I'm tempted by that 'Living on the Volcano' look into being a football manager.

I see Nadia hasn't changed since winning Big Brother.

It's all about the Raumdeuters and lateral movements. Tiki-taxidermy.

That 'Inverting the Pyramid' book is really good btw. I love tactical stuff like that

Remember when everyone thought he was boring?

In a world with Jorge Mendes and Bebe, I can definitely see clubs buying players for dishonest reasons.

My brother is livid right now. Would've won £50 from an accy of goalscorers - Muller, Keane (2), Lafferty, Rooney (2). The first 3 came in. So Hodgson takes Rooney off after 55 minutes. Ridiculous.