Ketsbaia

Even if there's no future fee, he'll never break into Chelsea's team so he'll always be available.

No more Phil Neville co-commentary

He'll have got that from those Amy tweets.

⚽️ ‏@EDS_Amy 1m1 minute ago Marco Van Ginkel said to have agreed deal to join Newcastle United from Chelsea.. Should be complete this week #nufc #cfc

His interview consisted solely of noises and apologies to the nation of Canada. He's so Geordie

That Geordie Canada boss is awful at interviews And I think he said "shit" as well.

Get in

Through on goal, hauled back - only a yellow

I really enjoyed Jonathan Pearce's quinoa musings. British commentary needs more food chat, in my opinion.

His demands are too high for the Middle East? Fucking hell, nobody's got a chance

Some class puns there, love it

Collecting all the strikers, I see.

Hmmm yeah, I can't defend that tweet. Her latest rumours are that Capoue and Barton are off to Watford, Zamora to Brighton and Callum Wilson has a bid from a top 6 club. Let's see if any of those come off. She does spend far too much time defending herself on Twitter.

I loved doing "Knees are good, knees are good. Demba's knees are good" to Ebeneezer Goode.

Then again, there's no easier name to put in song than Demba Ba

Sometimes the club randomly does something smart and positive like this. It's weird. Maybe he's the next Aidy Boothroyd or Owen Coyle, but maybe he'll become the next big thing. I definitely see him taking over from McClaren at some point.

Amy has just claimed that Rob Green will go Chelsea, as Victor Moses didn't fancy a swap deal with Asmir Begovic.

Monitors here, monitors there, monitors fucking everywhere. It's like a PC World stock room.

Jealous of a Bournemouth signing, oh boy. Times are rough

It sounds like a gritty ITV drama. "She said no, stop coming onto her."

Berardi is now 100% a Sassuolo player - I'm surprised that Juventus were willing.

It's a tough name to pun, I'll give him that.

Lemmiwinks.

We could probably get more money but Ashley loves a good 2 for 1 on Slazenger socks.