Jill

It just seems like we're destined to go down. Everything is aligning to make it happen. I was gutted last time but if it does happen again it'll probably raise a partridgeshrug at the most.

I've had the sort of season Newcastle would be proud of. Safe but no chance of Europe.

GW38 Arsenal 1-0 West Brom Aston Villa 1-0 Burnley Chelsea 2-1 Sunderland Crystal Palace 1-0 Swansea Everton 1-2 Spurs Hull 0-1 Man Utd Leicester 1-1 QPR Man City 2-0 Southampton Newcastle 1-1 West Ham Stoke 1-2 Liverpool

The back looks like the designers submitted a proposal and just didn't realise they had to do the other side. Like on the Apprentice when they're designing labels etc, sure there was an episode where they just completely ignored part of the box.

And yet with our potential relegation at stake, it still seems extremely achievable.

I don't trust this Man U team to get a result.

Didn't cash out. Obvious idiot is obvious.

Fffffuuuuuuu----

Ready to smack my dad all over for inflicting this shite on me. Cruel git.

Just stuck £2 on us to go down. Prediction for next weekend: We lose 2-0 to a penalty (and sending off) followed by awful defending for the second Hull win 1-0

Fucked. Flashbacks to last time, this time Hull will beat Man U and we'll do jack all.

Who's this week's sending off?

This club man. Horseshit. I can see Hull getting a result next week.

Bloody hell.

Gerrard to miss a penalty, 25/1.

I absolutely hope so. Something hilarious has to happen. I hope he has a stinker.

£3.80 on Stabæk hashtag bigspender.

All the Danish/Swedish TV shows I've seen just seem to be basically Geordie. I'm hoping that will mean I'm able to survive in Copenhagen/Malmo/Stockholm next month. I particularly like how Swedish for "police" is "polis". Leaving Oslo out. I haven't seen much Norwegian TV. Any recommendations? IIRC "go home" is vaguely similar across most of the languages to "gan hyem" so I suppose I'll be ok at getting rid of pests.

All the Danish/Swedish TV shows I've seen just seem to be basically Geordie. I'm hoping that will mean I'm able to survive in Copenhagen/Malmo/Stockholm next month. I particularly like how Swedish for "police" is "polis".

Do NOT get the number 1 bus. It takes forever. It's a short walk from Four Lane Ends.

At this rate I'll need to play.

Who am I cheering for? I need to pick a side.

There haven't been any pens at all at sjp. Indicative of both our lack of ability to get the ball in the opposition box and lack of determination to prevent the opposition walking it in at the other end. Must be pretty rare to go a whole season without a single penalty awarded at a ground? Well, now we can guarantee we'll concede one which will be scored to send us down.

Gameweek 37 Southampton 2-0 Aston Villa Burnley 0-1 Stoke QPR 1-1 Newcastle Spurs 2-1 Hull Sunderland 1-0 Leicester West Ham 0-0 Everton Liverpool 1-0 Crystal Palace Swansea 0-2 Man City Man Utd 2-2 Arsenal West Brom 0-2 Chelsea Arsenal 3-2 Sunderland

Denver Morris is a canny little player, lovely run that.