Interpolic

Alan Carr and Rubberface Kaye on James Corden - I think I'm gonna hurl.

I would have Carroll all day over Heskey Looks like you've picked them names out of a hat tbh. TBH not a lot of thought has gone into the subs, but i think the starting XI would has the potential to be exciting Righteo then, ignoring your subs: You've inexplicably sacked off Ferdinand, Lampard, Defoe and Carrick, which gives the indication that this is the work of a madman. Wilshire is first choice centre mid when he hasn't proven himself at Arsenal yet by a long shot. Dawson's first choice centre half. Adam Johnson's barely had a kick for England yet and he's first choice. Other than that, it's... erm... pretty much as it is at the minute then. Apart from Hart, who could end up being as big a disaster as the rest of them. I'm a fan of Adam Johnson and Joe Hart for the record.

Looks like you've picked them names out of a hat tbh.

The tournament as a whole has perked right up the last few days. Thank God - it was boring the arse off me.

Poulsen.

Really cheap, shit gear all round imo, disappointed in Puma.

Lush goal.

I think it's funny how Adebayor always says "trust me".

Shat myself.

Blanco looks like some random kid's dad.

Minister Babatunde strikes me as the kind of person people stop in the street to ask for advice. Eh? He's been giving someone advice in the street for a few days? I dunno man, I wouldn't put it past him. Was a reference to you saying he's likeable. Ah I see. He's almost loveable, Baba. Sod it, he's loveable.

Minister Babatunde strikes me as the kind of person people stop in the street to ask for advice. Eh? He's been giving someone advice in the street for a few days?

Where's the likeable Nigerian these days?

It's the Tyldsley effect. Cunts can't just call it as they see it anymore.

Surprise!

I'm with you on the evidence of the qualifiers but Rooney's no-show the other day was a bit worrying. And the fact Heskey has played so little first team football this year. Plus Rooney told Shearer the other day that he'd rather play up front on his own if push came to shove, but he might have just been trying to sound hard in front of Al.

Press being cunts. Embarrassing, counter-productive, etc - they'll never change.

Please Stifler, take 10 minutes and guess the fixtures from start to finish - would like to compare and contrast out of interest.

Totally - if you wore that in Mr Lynch's it would just look like there was a head and some arms bobbing around.

Any advance on 36? You old romantic, Stifler.

http://mocoloco.com/art/archives/toothpicks_aug_05.jpg How many toothpicks?

Predicting fixtures, Stifler, really? I thought that Rain Man stuff was harsh tbh, but this quite simply is some proper Rain Man shit.

Ronaldo's won enough to shore up Greece's broken economy. I heard he had to call in sick today because he couldn't get out his front door for all the Cuban cigars in his porch.

Coleman: "Let's say he meant it - let's give him the benefit of the doubt". You do realise nobody gives a fuck what you reckon, don't you Chris?