Premiership
Winners: Chelsea
Runners Up: Man City
3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man Utd, Liverpool, Southampton
Relegation: Crystal Palace, Sunderland, Watford
Overachievers: Newcastle
Underperformers: Man Utd
Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero
Break Out Year: Jack Grealish
Season to Forget: Yohan Cabaye
PFA Player of the Year: Sergio Aguero
PFA Young Player of the Year: Jack Grealish
Manager of the Year: Mourinho
First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Advocaat
Newcastle United
Where will we finish?: 12th
Top Goalscorer?: Siem De Jong
How will we do in the cup competitions?: Usual 3rd, 4th round crap
How will we do in the derby games?: Draw both
Europe
La Liga winner: Barcelona
Serie A winner: Juventus
Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich
Champions League winner: Barcelona
Europa League winner: Man City
World Player of the Year: Messi
Other:
How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: 17th
When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Never, they will stick with the cunt as he is 'one of their own'
How many goals will Balotelli score this season: None in the Premier League
How will De Jong get injured this season: Straining his wrist wanking