Loki679

Right, there's bot all happening in the football so I think we should concentrate our efforts on helping Polic with his 'anger issues'. My suggestion is to tie him up. Obviously this would require someone to go feed and water him and change his nappy every other day so possibly not ideal.

What, 13, 14 years? And he's just decided now it might be nice to actually play?

Oh, and Virgil van Dijk was nailed on for Man U last I heard, maybe not this season though.

Would fry the Mackems heads if we got someone called Jordy Clasie.

Look Mike, when Shola Ameobi, Shola fucking Ameobi, is knocking back your offers something is very wrong with your club. Like getting knocked back by a drunk, fat, ugly, ginger slapper called Maureen 'the bike' McSlag.

I look forward to the flood of Cabella fanboys and their broken English.

They'll make a flag of a black cat raping a tiger to protect the guns or something.

I'll take the heat for the Nigel suggestion but Evans is quality. Just a good solid all-round footballer. You've been Pardewed.

Bent Shelvey Colback £65m profit and Pardew's targets

I think you're being unkind Rich, he has a 1 in 6 record. We might have discovered the new Hasselbaink. The good one I mean.

'Who would you go for?' 'ANYONE THAT'S NOT PARDCUNT, RAWR' 'What about Sherwood?' 'Well, no, not him' 'What about Pulis?' 'Not him either' 'Bruce?' 'Na' 'Moyes?' 'Bit negative, scottish too'

Hamilton Academicals, St Mirren and St Johnstone. I'm convinced, get the chequebook out, Mike.

Aye, the dogging gets him all riled up.

Right, so next time you hit her, do it in front of a mirror.

Not enough tackles. Our dream is to have 10 full backs and a goalie on the pitch but we only have 4 at the moment. We're making do with 10 defensive players and a goalie instead.

Is there no(rth) end to your terrible puns?

I think we're having an intervention to stop Interpolic hitting his girlfriend.

Mackems could sign him and sing 'Payet, Poyet, fire it up, come along and play in front of the mongs' (Cypress Hill)

Been messed about by a series of managers, played left back, right back, left wing. Gus seems to have got him onside and rarely moves him out of position. He's also started getting into the box a bit more this season. I'd be gutted to lose him tbh. He'll fucking love it here then

We need another 4 left backs as it is, can't be selling Santon.

http://i.imgur.com/SzqRe0l.jpg

With Bent and Cisse up front together our score would start going into the negative. Newcastle -5 : 3 Mackems kind of thing.

Gosling on the right -> We lose games -> Pardew gets fired I like the cut of his jib.

There's a difference between going along to a meaningless game which is likely to be poorly attended in order to protest and just giving him some dosh to climb up on the roof. Protests at the friendlies will likely attract quite a bit of attention since there won't be many there and there's fuck all else about NUFC to report on atm (except transfers ).