Dandy Man

Wissa has only ever wanted Newcastle since Souness signed Boumsong

Can you tweet something like: I hate it here and I want to leave, great support, we go again

Pepe Silvia is the Wissa replacement

Sounds like we are trying to strengthen our negotiating position when buying his replacement if anything

Some Trump style tactics from Isak here, everybody loses if he carries on with this stuff and the only short term solution is for us to capitulate and screw ourselves in the process, coming round to the idea of calling his bluff and letting it go to shit as a matter of principle

It's extremely underwhelming and taking a Chelsea cast off for the prices being quoted is a bit insane but I also I think Jackson has a lot more potential than people are giving him credit for, he does look a bit of donkey at times but has the raw attributes that would really suit the way we play

I'd have McGinn purely for what he brings in terms of arse size

Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe bid. Not seen much of this lad but most people who have seem to think he's a bit of a German Titus Bramble. Why does it feel like we have not substantively updated our list of transfer targets in the last few years...

Fjortoft is getting to grips with the social media engagement playbook, just tweet something that one fanbase will love while simultaneously infuriating another fanbase/everyone else

Thanks to our increasingly desperate situation, I'd been convincing myself that Sesko was going to be massive for us. But I'd previously been relatively unfussed about him. On paper, he seems vastly overpriced for his actual output, he's got a howitzer of a shot on him, but from what little I've seen, he needs multiple chances to convert one, which is a bit concerning. Could he kick on and become a monster? Absolutely. But he could just as easily find the demands of the Premier League to be a completely different challenge and end up very underwhelming for the price. Regardless of what happens, this transfer window is like watching a car crash unfold in slow motion. I just want to see the end of it with as little additional carnage as possible, ASAP.

Do Slovenians tend to reach their peak earlier in their careers?

I mean yeah and then they push out other stuff and over time the weight of money should (in theory) level it all out to something close to the likelihood in reality, anyway these sort of betting markets are just novelty Mickey Mouse stuff and nobody is really putting any money into them so it's just nonsense

Not saying anyone should read too much into it but that's literally how betting markets work, bookmakers price things up to something well over 100% and make the profit from that overround.

You can back him to be stay at 2/1 tbf. 33% implied probability he stays here and around 76% that he goes to Liverpool based on 365 market.

The situation is fairly murky at best. While he and his agent are clearly stirring up some controversy, it's hard to gauge the true severity given that these football "journalists" have every incentive to amplify the drama and get some lovely engagement. Meanwhile, the club naturally wants to downplay any rift, leaving us somewhere in the middle trying to parse the reality from the spin. If Isak stays but sulks through the season, nobody wins. He also risks finding himself without suitors next summer when they've all inevitably moved on to the next flavour of the month hype machine. However, if he knuckles down and starts scoring regularly, all will likely be forgiven fairly quickly . Like most fans here, I'd prefer to see him leave for an appropriate fee, but if it's Liverpool for the fees being thrown around or nowhere, I'll take nowhere every time.

Hope he falls into a vat of surströmming

I'm not bothered either way, but hopefully he does well. Howe's the man for improving players beyond what they've shown before, so I will wait and see. Would be nice to see him come good to wind up Arsenal fans too. Also keeps our two keeper spots locked down with Howe's favourite sort of random English name generator types.

If he fucks off Spurs and Noncemas Frank and comes here then I'm all for it regardless of what happens thereafter

Hey Yoane Wissa, Ooh ahh..

Obviously it's better that Ekitike goes to Liverpool than Isak, we can always buy someone else, we also identified Ekitike as a talent when he was still a teenager playing for Reims which inspires confidence in our overall process, also when we previously failed to get Ekitike and Joao Pedro we ended up with Isak

Does Romano shout "Here we go"/"Here we go soon" when he's finishing his wanks I wonder

Think this is about the best possible case for all concerned here, he's obviously a tier below what we need now but he still made some fairly big contributions during our rehabilitation, still gives us a nice PSR windfall rather than running out contract and can leave with his head held high really

Came to be disappointed by lack of Ekitike updates, staying to be traumatised by presence of Isak updates

Think we either get some sort of confirmation today or this drags on for a while and we all get progressively sad and frustrated

You say that, but this is one of Claude's suggestions: "Hey Jude" - his surname works well in place of "Jude" in the melody