Miercoles

Am I missing something or that was a complete dive by di Maria? I'm pulling for Argentina in this game even, just didn't see any contact until after he's already going down...

Lloris is such a bitch. Just like the Wilson goal, he thinks about it for a second and then says right, let's go down.

I'd take the cup, even though it's better for the club to qualify for the champions league, I've been following Newcastle from afar, for no fucking good reason, for twenty years now and I had fully accepted the idea that we would never win anything in my lifetime. So yeah, let's fucking win something. This is a good chance to do it, lots of good teams are out, and our side is perfect for tournaments at the moment, in that we can make any team uncomfortable on the day and always have a chance to scrape a result even against the very best teams in the world. We don't have the depth to win the league yet, but we are right bastards enough to shithouse a win at Wembley against anyone.

Time change works out great for me tbh, working from home that day, childcare sorted, and the game will actually be fucking broadcast somewhere in the world.

Such a promising player before his injuries...

Jesus Christ

I have a pet theory that you should never have the same player take two penalties in the same game. I've only seen it a few times so it's a small sample mind, but it seems like they always miss the second one. Probably complete bollocks if you actually look at the numbers, but as soon as I saw Kane was the taker I felt like he would miss.

I think he's fine on the left, his engine is so good that he ends up all over the field anyway wherever you start him. The last few games he was on the left I didn't notice any drop off in his usual midfield murderings.

Let him get healthy for next season I guess

It's one of the things that makes Alexi Lalas so unbearable to watch. He does this at about 300% and he's also just really really bad at it. Ham-fisted would be the word. "You. Have. To. Hit. The. Headers. With. Your head!!! This is soccer! You have to get up there with your head, and hit the ball with it!" .... Thanks, Lex.

I think it's because none of this really matters, so they have to make it emotionally charged. Especially on a national program in the US, I'm in California and I could give a fuck if the first baseman for the St Louis Cardinals showboated after hitting a home run against the Cubs. Don't. Care. So, to make that listenable for me and the rest of the country the presenters have to get all riled up and pissed off about it, "this is outrageous! It's a bad look for all of baseball! You need to have respect for the game blah blah blah" all fired up like someone stole their mailbox. Otherwise who would give a shit? Talk radio in general is like that, amped up outrage to get people to give a shit about non-events, but sports is especially bad because it's all so silly to begin with.

Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to watch Jozy Altidore any more

We've got lots of them in the NFL to choose from

Soccer is dumb anyway

Netherlands haven't looked great, we can get through on penalties. Argentina are choke artists and will lose to the USA 1-0, our only goal of the knockout stages, Japan the giant killers will take out Brazil but they will struggle against the comparatively diminutive USMNT and we'll be able to take them out on penalties. Then we're in the final and anything can happen, lots of pressing and graft and panicky defending will lead the United States of America to a 0-0 against France, where we win on penalties. Bing, bang, boom, champions.

Can't wait for England to lose on penalties, with their keeper allllmost reaching a couple of them.

Crazy that it doesn't go to head-to-head record at any point. Two teams with the same points but one has beaten the other, seems a simple choice which should go on eh?

Sightly disappointed they didn't go out on yellow cards, that would have been just a moment of perfect synchronicity in the universe.

Ahhh just one thing to say about Mexico: Get fucked.

Crowd noise in USA-Eyeran giving me South Africa 2010 flashbacks

Funny to think about Berhalter calling in to Naval High Command "Sir, the coach of our soccer team suggests a full withdrawl from the Persian Gulf" "We have a soccer team?"

It's mainly because they're little fucking bitches

Oh, that'll do.

It's non negotiable! Unless of course we might get a yellow card, hey, let's not be hasty, surely we can negotiate? Maybe we'll just forget about the armband thing, that's fine, we'll make a tweet instead or something.

Rebecca Lowe?