Altamullan

All scoring to be confirmed by Magpie. Week 17: An average score for us of 15.2, below average for the season, masked a lot of highs and lows and exciting tussles. There will be a change at the top again—at least according to my abacus. The three 'regularly-playing' players, currently closest to the bottom, are in the ten highest scoring players of the last three weeks: South-Cheshire Toon 69, GavMcEl 57, Nev, 57, sbnufc 55, Sho’Time 55, Kaizero 51, Pilko 51, jdckelly 50, Minhosa 49, Altamullan 49. 15 players are within 15% of the highest score; 6 are within 10%. With more than half the season to go, it is exciting at the top and with some Bournemouth-esque runs of form, exciting at the bottom too. Fantastic week for NUFC54, only failing to score with the Liverpool Watford game; as did all of us bar jdckelly, who picked-up the only points (3) that game returned. Great shout mate, and a great week for you too: one of around half a dozen players to score more than 20 points. Crystal ball of the week, for me, goes to Kaizero who was the only one of us to get the 1-2 Stoke v Palace score, and also nominated it. Close second (crystal marble??) to sbnufc for doubling-up on the Makems’ game. Twenty eight correct scores this week, most for the Arsenal game, yet again (11), with one 11th hour week-saving double-up, for GavMcEl—must have felt good! Worst week yet for Lawro, 8 points; was on 3 until Arsenal v City (reckon he would drop to fourth in our league with 306 points). His guest (Justin ‘Man U’ Moorhouse) returned a healthy 17 points, as did our group guess (despite only picking-up 2 points from the Man U surprise, as this was most nominated). Above should be taken with a pinch of salt, until Magpie submits the correct weekly scores. Hoping you all have a Christmas-time with even more than its usual smattering of nice bits, and that 2016 is a healthy and happy one. All the best.

Yep, it would be fascinating. I was also a bit non-plussed to hear Stan Collymore waxng lyrical about Colback recently. Whilst I feel the occasional need to support the lad/generally can see the value in/appreciate that style of player, I do think that even by his own standards (which many on here would see as being pretty low) recently he has been exposed, looked too weak on the ball, and too unimaginative (being kind) in posession.

Crystal ball polished... I reckon (max) Swansea to take 5 points= 19 Norwich to take 3 points = 16 Bournemouth to take 3 points = 16 Sunderland to take 0 points = 12 Newcastle to take 7 points = 17 Villa to take 4 points = 10 Admittedly my lens is also a little rose tinted, even taking that into account, well... it's f***ing dire isn't it. Purgatory again Update: Predicted Swansea to take 5 points & have 19pts after 19 games (1 point taken; 6 available) Norwich to take 3 points = 16 (4 points taken; 6 avalable) Bournemouth to take 3 points = 16 (6 points taken; 6 available) Sunderland to take 0 points = 12 (0 points taken; 6 available) Newcastle to take 7 points = 17 (7 points taken; 6 available) Villa to take 4 points = 10 (1 point taken; 6 available).

"Can I imagine life without Newcastle? I miss the banter, everything that there was. You can't have that again. I do miss it. Of course I do. I go there for five days a year but it is not not enough. The city is in my heart. You cannot put it anywhere else." (Pav, pp234-35 Touching Distance, by Martin Hardy). Get well mate.

All scoring to be confirmed by Magpie. Week 16: Good week, scoring wise, with an average of 17.4—much improved on last week’s miserly 12.2. Fantastic week for South Cheshire Toon, both high scoring and good for the soul (predicting Toon wins). I reckon he is one of six players to break through 20 points; though the only one to do so by over 10! Suspect we’ll see some movement at the top of the table, with someone new perched back on top (Well done Magpie). Thirty four correct scores this week, most for Villa Arsenal (12), though nobody doubling-up. We collected a fantastic 105 points from the Arsenal game, consolidating their position as the most predicable team (average of 73 points from games involving them, 7% of the total points; West Ham have returned the least with an average of 34 points, 3.2% of the total). Special mentions to Minhosa for predicting 2-1 win to Bournemouth, over Man U; and BillClinton, as the only one of us to go for Man City 2 Swansea 1. Lawro would have had a good week scoring 19 points (reckon he would be joint second in our league with 298 points). His guests (from Mumford & Sons) would have scored 13, meaning a Guest Total of 224 (second bottom, of the 28 active players but actually bottom of the league if using average score, i.e. Lawro Guests = 14.1, our lowest = 14.5. Eight of us have missed one or more games; timeEd32 is doing best of these; I have him as ranked 5th on average score, but 13th on Total score. Our group guess returned a respectable 17 points (double points for Man City as most nominated)—tgarve must have brought it luck. Above should be taken with a pinch of salt, until Magpie submits the correct weekly scores. All the best folks.

Chelsea 3-1 Sunderland Everton 2-1 Leicester Man Utd 2-0 Norwich Southampton 1-2 Spurs Stoke 1-1 Crystal Palace West Brom 2-1 Bournemouth Newcastle 2-1 Aston Villa Watford 1-2 Liverpool Swansea 2-0 West Ham Arsenal 2-1 Man City

just looking back through match thread, 'funny as' to read it back! And kinda wondeful.

Respect! to South Cheshire Toon: second week in a row predicted a Newcastle win, against the odds (ok, I meant literally as well as figuratively, as per usual, against the odds!) and justly rewarded with six and now five points. Well done mate. Third time in recent weeks a 'United' have robbed me of five points in added on time; though, first time I've been thoroughly delighted!

After 19 sets of predictions our group guesses (median home and away goals, turned into results) are shown below. I’ve also shown the range of results predicted. Bournemouth 1-2 Man Utd (Home Win 2: Draw 5: Away Win 12) Palace 1-1 Southampton (Home Win 5: Draw 10: Away Win 4) Man City 3-0 Swansea (Home Win 19: Draw 0: Away Win 0) Sunderland 1-1 Watford (Home Win 2: Draw 9: Away Win 8) West Ham 1-1 Stoke (Home Win 2: Draw 11: Away Win 6) Bournemouth 0-2 Man Utd (Home Win 0: Draw 3: Away Win 16) Villa 0-2 Arsenal (Home Win 0: Draw 1: Away Win 18) Liverpool 2-0 West Brom (Home Win 16: Draw 2: Away Win 1) Spurs 2-0 Newcastle (Home Win 16: Draw 1: Away Win 2) Leicester 1-1 Chelsea (Home Win 7: Draw 8: Away Win 4) Man City v Swansea has the most nominations (six). All games have at least one nomination.

I quote his score every week & that of his guest; I just give him Liverpool as nom, and give guest the team they support, if poss.

I think this. I also think people would do well to bear in mind the roles Vurn & Jack are suited to/picked to play, rather than hold in mind some kind of Gerrard /Robson/Keane hybrid fantasy-uber-central midfielder to compare them unfavourably against. Think Batty-Fernando-Wilkins-Deschamps: I appreciate these are high profile examples of largely forgettable but often (formation dependent) essential roles. IMO, humble as it is, if you’ve played/understand football, at any reasonable level, and/or are capable of reflection you will be aware of the potential impact--and the absence--of this kind of role. We might not salivate over it, but if nobody is hassling and harrying I think you soon notice the detrimental effect.

THIS.

Norwich 1-2 Everton Palace 0-1 Southampton Man City 3-1 Swansea Sunderland 0-2 Watford West Ham 1-1 Stoke Bournemouth 1-2 Man Utd Villa 0-2 Arsenal Liverpool 1-0 West Brom Spurs 1-1 Newcastle Leicester 1-2 Chelsea

All scoring to be confirmed by Magpie. Week 15: Fantastic week for those stripy SJP-lurking chaps, but tough week for (most of) us lot. For the first time none of us gained any points from a game: the 2-0 “(tall) tale of two Citys”. Not much better news from the games at Chelsea (3 points) and fortress St James’ (ahem...) returning 13 (fucking glorious to see... ) points. I make the average points return 12.6; the lowest of the season. Also, by my reckoning, only a couple of players hit the magic 20+ points mark; saying nowt (“Oh Shola Amoebi...Oh! Shola Amoebi... repeat until hoarse). Arsenal return to top-spot in terms of points given to us; games involving them have averaged a return of 70 points, Man Utd have been next most predictable/generous with an average of 69. We’re second bottom (fantasy nearly mirroring reality), with a sorry return of an average of 41 points (from games involving us); we’re just not predicable. I blame early season optimism, accompanied by random (all too infrequent) dashes of superb ‘shock and awe’ results! Lawro would have had a poor week (as would all of us who are safe/follow the odds), scoring 12 points (he would be on 279 points: third place in our league). His guest, that Charlatan Tim 'Man U' Burgess, scored 13 points; a rare win, stoking the guests’ total to 211. Funny that his stand alone, no doubt bile ‘n’ venom driven, Stoke win prediction earned him decent points. Our group guess returned a measly 10 points (season total= 231). Some of these ramblings may need a gentle tweaking when the ever-reliable Magpie submits the correct weekly scores. Seems a win has seen a return of my joie de vivre! So an early Merry Xmas to you all, folks!

4-6 on shots, and 43-57% possession.

Listening :sounds like we're more competative, but no shots (unless that freekick counts!). Only three from Liverpool mind.

For a moment there, I was thinking I had forgotten SMc picking Paul (Makem) Robinson, inglorious late 90s toon striker, for England. Which would have been more damning than anything PR the keeper had to say!

Didn't they represent Sweden in the 1972 Eurovision?

Holly & The Ivy.... While scousers laugh at Geordies, and the toon are pulled apart, Eliiot entertains the Gallowgate, by trying to light his fart... MERRY XMAA... oh get f***ed. I'm cancelling mine.

Averaging 0.89 ppg after 19 games, seems about right/achieveable to me (have we ever had a worse 'first half'?). But statistics mean nothing/are descriptions not explanations. To get the 7 points (as I imagine) requires winning two games and getting a draw. Feels like the main need, is a major attitude shift/a bit of fire in our bellies to do that; rather than formation or personnel tinkering (unless it delivers more balls...literally & figuratively).

Crystal ball polished... I reckon (max) Swansea to take 5 points= 19 Norwich to take 3 points = 16 Bournemouth to take 3 points = 16 Sunderland to take 0 points = 12 Newcastle to take 7 points = 17 Villa to take 4 points = 10 Admittedly my lens is also a little rose tinted, even taking that into account, well... it's fucking dire isn't it. Purgatory again

At least you didn't nomiate it... oh hang on, how're you going feel 2moz!! p.s. (psychic and smug, I sincerely hope )

Gameweek 15 Stoke 0 v 1 Man City Arsenal 2 v 0 Sunderland Man Utd 2 v 1 West Ham Southampton 2 v 0 Aston Villa Swansea 1 v 1 Leicester Watford 1 v 1 Norwich West Brom 1 v 1 Spurs Chelsea 2 v 1 Bournemouth Newcastle 1 v 2 Liverpool Everton 1 v 1 Crystal Palace

This. Really respect David Moyes: intelligent, fair, tough, loyal.

Good luck to you (Manc) Gazza.I' m not convinced by the need to 'dip your toes at a lower level' argument. Whilst you're not going to get papparazzi following you round if first management gig is at Stevenage (or Salford City), it doesn't matter. Everything is visible. All records, any league, count. You want the best chance of a successful managerial career, if you've got the cahunas to front the press/public interest, start as high-up the pyramid as possible, it has to be easier with better players, or at least easier if compensated by unreal pay and the validation and perceived specialness of the big league jobs.