Altamullan

CF, CB, CDM:Austin, Shawcross, Shelvey. Those positions, in that order, with that player/type. I know Mitro and Ayoze are popular and talented. No argument. Take away Gini's six goals, and we have scored six goals in 11 games. We need to score ugly, maybe I am wrong/ being too reactive, but there were strong voices for a proven goalscorer and an additional imposing CB in preseason. On reflection, I think we are feeling and seeing the absence of these roles.

BBC says 7-2 shots, 50-50 possession... that refelect the game?

Second game I haven't been able to watch this season, actually really missing it!

That we'd do well but somehow lose the game anyway. I usually don't get these things correct tbh That's good enough for me Ikon! Until proved otherwise, reading it in your runes, feeling it in your watta, the sway of the seaweed on your windowsill (stretching now....) will be the indicator of my optimism! "Toon-Toon..."

Before I get too excited, how were you feeling last weekend??

By 'discussing Pardew', I've found out I have a type (no.3 and Two Broke Girls Brunette), that breast size evidently doesn't influence this (latter boobilicious, former less so), that my longstanding assumption that my Spice Girl tupping-order indicated odd taste is not necessarily true (still have a couple of marriage choices that offer some evidence sadly...). Football really can help us men sort stuff out!

What. The. f***. 10 is third from the right standing up with blonde hair, I suspect we're talking about the same lass and you've counted back row first then the bottom two are 12 & 13 or whatever. Standing row third from the right has the best face, though three might be OK it's harder to tell with her. So... 8? That is an acceptable opinion. So there's some doubt re who this "10" is, OK, because if extreme right back row is potential no. 10 then I'd rather shag Ayoze (ish). She's actually my least favourite, no.13 on the 'To Do' list (behind 3a Hi-Vis Lady). That said, I had an unusual (amongst pool of friends) Spice Girl shag list: Scary, Ginger, Baby, Sporty, Posh. So maybe I have unusual taste.

can't believe this conversation has kept going!

Unbelievable but understandable.

I'd say he's our best player, but our most important is Mitrovic. Without him, everything really does fall apart. Ayoze was arguably our best player last season as well, when we didn't have Mitro. Ayoze has been our best player these last two seasons but he's still not a natural goalscorer, having someone like Mitro next to him increases the effectiveness of him in the team. Without Mitro, even with Ayoze's talent we'd struggle for goals. Most definitely, and I hope to see these two blossom into a full fledged homo romance up top. We've not had a real strike partnership since Bestie-Lovenkrands. Is it just me, or does anybody else find that last observation depressing ( not the length of time, so much, as the pairing)

Agreed and I'm Jewish. I'm not really but if I was, I would still agree. I'll see your Alan Pardew, and raise a Mike Ashley... (quietly shuffles Cattermole, Ball, and Wise cards in his hand...) Ball and Wise. Sounds like a game of fantasy comedy acts. Those two would only be funny with a bayonet sticking in them... (catchphrase: "Fuck-off Tommy!")

Looks like the girl off Two Broke Girls. Now you're talking top-totty! Hadn't seen the similarity before...apparently I have a type (one that doesn't just involve possession of an active pulse).

After 22 sets of predictions our group guesses (median home and away goals, turned into results) look like this; I’ve also shown the range of results predicted: Chelsea 1-1 Liverpool (Home Win 6: Draw 16: Away Win 0) Crystal Palace 1-2 Man Utd (Home Win 1: Draw 1: Away Win 20) Man City 3-0 Norwich (Home Win 22: Draw 0: Away Win 0) Newcastle 2-1 Stoke (Home Win 15: Draw 5: Away Win 2) Swansea 1-2 Arsenal (Home Win 3: Draw 7: Away Win 12) Watford 1-1 West Ham (Home Win 3: Draw 14: Away Win 5) West Brom 1-1 Leicester (Home Win 3: Draw 15: Away Win 4) Everton 2-1 Sunderland (Home Win 19: Draw 1: Away Win 2) Southampton 3-1 Bournemouth (Home Win 19: Draw 2: Away Win 1) Spurs 2-0 Aston Villa (Home Win 22: Draw 0: Away Win 0) Man City v Norwich has the most nominations (9). No nominations yet for the games at Southampton, West Brom, and Watford. EDIT: Whoops! 1 person predicting a ManYoo draw, not 116.

Agreed and I'm Jewish. I'm not really but if I was, I would still agree. I'll see your Alan Pardew, and raise a Mike Ashley... (quietly shuffles Cattermole, Ball, and Wise cards in his hand...)

funny. Not entirely sure that Club Stockholm VIP, and the Pig & Whistle (...kin hell! the clip of that lot) is a valid comparison. You'd get as a marked a difference in the tottyfilarious factor by taking a few picks elsewhere in Newcastle (almost anywhere!). That said, some HOT pics of Swedish chicks! Reminded me of a couple of Costa Del Sol 'Annika' like (old TV series) conquests. Sorry...just dawned on me I'm in a Pardew thread... on the plus side, the narcissistic t*** would be furious we're not talking about him

Yep; that would be my pursuit of the day. I am talking the kissable lips/jaunty hips no.3, not the Hi-Vis no.3; though that said, she's kinda foxy too...

Assuming these are Palace/South London girls? Regardless of looks, imagine what they sound like! No! not at point of 'release' (dirty barstewards...). Thinking more of listening to them butcher Enlglish in the morning when you have to talk to them...

Supremely sorry, but I can't resist! (Stop in the name of love) Curly Colo, it's time for you go Back through the dressing room door I saw you mow down furry- Fletchy Like you were felling a balsa-wood tree But this time before you strip your kit Leaving fans feeling shit (Think it over) Haven't they been good to you? (Think it over) Haven't they been sweet to you? STOP for fuck's sake We need an even break STOP for fuck's sake We need an even break

Point taken, apologies chaps. I will try and refrain from my tendency towards not being 100% serious, or apply the Rainman/autistic spectrum literal correction to any future attempts at humour.

10 games in, thought it was worth seeing how we’re doing; in general, and specifically, in comparison to the experts. Things look pretty close at the top: there are seven players averaging over 17.5 points per week, which seems admirable to me. However, given the amount of points available per week, and the fact nearly 74% of the season is remaining, I think it is even closer than that. The average for 18 players is within 3 points of first place (16.3-19.3). This ’30 point’ gap at this stage, as a very rough yardstick, is probably no more extreme than a six point gap in that other league with only three points available each week. Mark Lawrenson would have at least 190 points (be joint second) in our league. I say at least, because I’ve given him Liverpool as his nomination each week, and I guess he would have had safer predictions in mind. Lawro’s guests would have accumulated 133 points; just using average points, this would put them in bottom place with a 13.3 average; our bottom three have all missed two or more games (lowest average points tally is 15.1: that 1.8 difference is the same gap between 1st and 8th). Our group guess, the safe “Malcolm in the Middle” of prediction strategies would have 161 points (21st in the league, from 31 regular players left). Of course over a 38 game season there will be random variations in form. There only need be slight but consistent improvements or deteriorations and things could look very different, particularly for those already managing to stay in touch, by averaging over 16.3. So if anyone’s feeling disheartened, probably no need, especially given the number of crazy results we have seen thus far this season. All things considered, seems to me that some players have been admirably consistent, and collectively, relatively speaking, we’re all doing well.

As hilarious as it is to see them doing this kind of funfair side-show merchandising (with official sanction, it seems) I also find the appalled responses of many of their fans quite heartening (...and also quite funny!).

Amish Paradise gets me every time, and I don't even know why New to me but seriously tickled! "As I walk through the valley, where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realise she's very plain..." :lol: Thanks for this.

I don't wish to mess with near perfection, but that white gate is crying out for alternate red pickets and I do wonder whether the kerb appeal could be improved a soupçon by a couple of litres of flaming petrol?

I recall in pre-season banging on that we should find a Serbian CB (mate/calming influence for Mitro). Tomovic is on Disco's list (out of contract at Fiorentia come June). My extensive research (ahem...) shows he looks a bit like Thauvin, wears Colback's number, has 'tackling' as a weakness (!) and likes to play short passes. That's good enough for me. Sold! Oh, hang on, he's 28...we'll never buy him. http://www.whoscored.com/Players/42860/Show/Nenad-Tomovic

He's definitely the type I had in mind. My mate Google seems to suggest he is still out post back surgery, also didn't realise he was club captain. Think Hughes would take a swap?? Happy to top up the deal (Cisse, Guoffran, Tiote, Obertan, and many more! available)