Altamullan

That was the highlight of the evening too! I know how to live

Latest attempt at a French tune to make him feel at home. What could be more fitting than "La Marseillaise"? Words (close ish to original): To Arms Young Thauvin, To Arms Young Thauvin! Let's sing, let's sing Florian is on the wing Florian Thauvin's on the wing! (might look/be sh*t but it sounds cracking in my head!--wish I was going to West Ham...) Music from about 43" to 63" on below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3eSNi__4w

Rob Lee's perspective on JC: "If I’m honest I didn’t really know exactly what Colback was about when he was at Sunderland. I knew he was a hard-working, busy player but other than that it was hard to see what he offered. Since he’s been at Newcastle though I’ve seen more and more of him and I’ve admired his performances. Alongside Daryl Janmaat he was United’s outstanding player for me last season. What I would say is that Colback needs to start pushing on a little bit. He needs to add more goals to his game. It’s goals that really start to get people noticed – and if he scores a greater number this season then Hodgson will have to take a proper look at him and he can become a Three Lions regular." Discuss...

If you'd have witnessed the behavior of their fans when they've been down here you would probably think them a pack of c***s. True re behaviour in Newcastle. I remember--in an attempt to instil a bit of camaraderie with a group of Celtic fans in Jesmond, who were seriously p*ssed-up, getting a bit edgy, and trotting out IRA songs--playing Fields of Athenry (on a tin whistle one of them had been murdering). So far, so good...I then played The Blaydon Races which didn't trigger the kind of mutual bond of football-brotherhood I had hoped for! Chairs and tables tipped over and Police intervention. I wondered afterwards whether the tune also featured in some Unioinst/Loyalist song (it doesn't). They were just f***ing rude and disrespectful .

Fantastic! I loved it when the lads were training there. Had the dubious pleasure of bumping into Andy Cole coming out of the showers, and the even more embarrassing experience of Keegan and Terry Mc watching us play five a side (briefly, and with audible commentary... "Oooh, ha ha, 'kin 'ell" I can still hear it now...).

Whoops! Thank you. I did, mistakenly, mean this season, but point still stands. I had just been trying to figure out if all three had played together at Marseille. Did they?

Vinny Jones in the above! :lol: The ballbag grabbing... well, ballbag. Always suspected he was about as Welsh as Cascarino was Irish,

Payet, what a player! Along with Montero, and hopefully Thauvin, going to be fantastic additons to the Premiership; a joy to watch.

It was me that started the whole "making things tick" bollocks. What I meant was that McClaren has identified it as a role in his team, regardless of the individual. Anita is the man who he picked for that position. Personally I think Anita's role in the team is vital in how McClaren wants to play. Colback on the other hand is in an expendable position. Both Sissoko and Wijnaldum could both play there and offer more to our team. Where as neither could play in Anita's deeper role, nor would be suitable to it IMO. I'll pretend Tiote doesn't exist because he offers nothing in this set up. He certainly couldnt do Anita's job and would offer even less in terms of creativity in Colbacks position. At least we have options for a change. Do we know that SMc sees them as having different roles? I had assumed that he wantefd them to be the 'two' in the double six (i.e. the two who join the four attacking roles, or the four defensive roles).

Really looking forward to this. I think it will be a good indication of what to expect from this season. They've had two great away results (beating Arsenal and Liverpool) and two, no doubt, disappointing home results (losing to Leicester and to Bournemouth). SMc has now had enough time with the squad to establish a preferred formation and plenty of time to plan his tactics for the Wist Aaam, who presumably are doing better on the counter attack? Can't wait...

After 25 sets of predictions our group guesses (average home and away goals, turned into results) look like this: Everton 1 v Chelsea 2 Arsenal 2 v Stoke 1 Crystal Palace 1 v Man City 3 Norwich 1 v Bournemouth 1 Watford 0 v Swansea 2 West Brom 1 v Southampton 2 Man Utd 1 v Liverpool 1 Sunderland 1 v Spurs 2 Leicester 2 v Aston Villa 1 West Ham 1 v Newcastle 1 Eight of us have picked the Arsenal game as the double-up. Nobody has picked the Leicester game. The rest range between 2 and 4.

Costs nowt to be nice Dave...

He can't. Thanks Peter! I choose to believe that, contrary to "Luke Archibald's" unresistible one-liner, you just had to register your vote for me as voice of my generation! Chuffed to bits. I know who I'm going call if I need a reference, or if there's something strange (...stranger.) in the neighbourhood; obviously.

Thanks UD man, good translation of my ramblings. All that was missing was stating that tongue was firmly in cheek and evidently poor attempt at ( Viz-like) humour. He shoots...he misses... (but the lad keeps shooting!). My bad Kanji, you're evidently not an idiot (... Although fact we're toon fans, could be considered by some as evidence of being intellectually challenged).

d agree. I haven't seen enough of some of the players to justifiably give them the black spot. Just on sheer frustration caused, and almost certainty that there's nothing more to give, from somebody who has had a long enough shot at their preferred position: Obertan.

Considered it... But opted for rat's blood, on the netty wall. Higher impact.

Shall we re-hash Sissoko's "stamp" now? If you look closely, I think it's his heel studs which make most contact with the squealing gooner's ankle joint/ foot. This seems to be the exact same part of the boot and the exact same point of contact for squealing gooner no.2 incident, supporting role this time by Mitro-stay-on-the-pitch. Now, I can distinctly (ish...) recall a neeneck doorman doing the exact same thing to me outside the City Vaults (fat barsteward) probably around the same time Steve Black was working the doors. See where I am going?(no, not Stannington or St George's....) seems likely to me that Blackie has been training our lads in dubious door- bothering crowd control tic-tacs. It can lead to no good! Is neither big nor clever, and thank goodness Mr Marriner has taken stand, and drawn attention to the dark arts our young impressionable lads are being exposed to! Next instalment Thauvin's ninja slide.... I reckon we should be onto that by early November.

My cousin's ex-wife's sisters's boyfriend who went to school with John Gibson's best mate's son, reckons RyanAir may possibly be keen on a bit of Premership exposure. I've also heard, admittedly from a less 'in-the-know' source, that Chevron would be a strong candidate also; although I fear they may demand a V shaped 'geese in flight' formation... how would we fit Vurn and JC into that?? . Haliburton also appear to be the kind of company we may be keen to do business with. Other 'nalied-on' contenders here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/28/the-least-ethical-compani_n_440073.html

I can see Wijnaldum in The Premiership Team or the Year, 2016 (maybe alongside Shelvey). A prediction sprinkled with a fair bit of wishful thinking, no doubt. That is how highly I rate him, though. I haven't been as excited about a new midfielder since watching Nobby Solano play in a reserve game at SJP; sat high in the Milburn, couldn't believe what I was seeing in terms of his distribution of passes and general awareness of who was where, and who could get where.

Storming start by Gini; long may it continue. Has Shane's Mum been on??

I reckon he should have you as his agent...

All scores to be confirmed by Magpie (I nearly always get something wrong...). Week 4: “It’s a funny ol’ game...” (Just had a Saint and Greavsie flashback—one for the oldies— 'twas thankfully warm and fuzzy, rather than terrifying). This week had the highest scoring/most predicable result thus far: City Watford with 150 points (only four correct scores though); a game with zero points scored (Scousers vs. Hammers, who knew? Evidently none of us...); and one with a paltry 4 points (Chelsea Palace—our collective memory of Parvenu’s ‘excellent’ Chelski record no doubt eclipsed by our memory of everything else). Also, 25 of us went for a Stoke win, at home to the “Eets awl royit keeds” of West Brom (Chuffin’ referees, we wuz robbed...actually let’s not go there). The average points total for week 4 was around 17 again; though our ‘Group Guess’ (median of our H scores vs. median of our A scores) produced an unimpressive 13 points. El Championi ‘Froggy’ had another very solid week, and freed from the B&W bias even predicted our result (as did POOT...double edged sword, no doubt mate); I’ll skip over the Swansea game, though a remarkable 13 of us managed to predict the 2-1, as did Mark Lawrensen: which, despite a yield of only 82 points, might actually make this the most predicable result thus far...). Lawro would have scored a highly respectable 20 points btw, by Magpie's rules; and his guest Darren ‘Man U’ Campbell a, no doubt, less satisfying 12 points—though he did get the Man Utd ‘1’ bit right.

Week 5 Everton 0 v Chelsea 2 Arsenal 2 v Stoke 0 Crystal Palace 1 v Man City 4 Norwich 1 v Bournemouth 1 Watford 0 v Swansea 0 West Brom 0 v Southampton 0 Man Utd 2 v Liverpool 1 Sunderland 0 v Spurs 1 Leicester 1 v Aston Villa 1 West Ham 0 v Newcastle 1

How long have you supported Newcastle? Where does your view of the life and times of 'the genuine' NUFC fan come from? (An unseen Tyneside-based Ripping Yarns episode?) Have you considered what the realistic aims of most premiership clubs are in this era? I'm all for a bit of Cashley criticism, where warranted, but the above imo comes over like some kind of NOTW-flashback Southern, ill-considered, and patronising journalism. You have picked the wrong one to lay out 'I'm-a-better-fan-than you' crap pal - I was probably supporting NUFC when you were still in your father's imagination(or whatever you want to call it in your world). Was going to SJP back in the 1960s and was part of the Magpie Group that got rid of an unambitious board..a bit like this one except most of them were Geordies.... Your comments are typical of many of the modern generation - think they know it all but actually know nowt, and you have done a fine job in cementing my views about many modern NUFC fans. The hilarious part about your ramblings are that I looked up your profile and saw you only joined the site in July this year... Pots calling kettles, or what..? Grow up lad and come back when you can play with the big boys. Well, that’s me well and truly told, Merl. I can see your research is just as sophisticated as your reasoning and it leaves me no choice but to shame-facedly slope-off to the outdoor netty and read what’s left of the Journal, while there’s enough light... I used to have other pasttimes, before that nice Mr Ashley persuaded me that whippet racing and pigeon fancying would get in the way of browsing leisure wear in my local discount sports shop (you should see the reductions, man...Epic!) you know, like on the alternate weekend to a home match, obviously. Those weekends, really cast some light into my otherwise bleak and dark existence. Least I hope they will, I remember my first match like it was yesterday (or the day before...) we only got beat one nil! And were playing like a big team from the smoke! Aye, London like! Awesome!! Thanks for putting me right ye cheeky wizard ye. I’ll try my best to increase my knowledge of the world through some Journal reading—it’s so hard when it’s all torn into strips though, so you might have to bear with me.