Altamullan

The rabbit. He also bought supermarket meat and some naff looking sainsburys own saucepans they had on special offer. Very, very disappointing for a man of this wealth. What kind of meat is he supposed to buy though?. Is there a select cuts that Us peasants can't afford same goes for cooking implements If I had millions I wouldn't go and pay extortionate amounts on pots and f***ing pans I would, I'd spend a b****** fortune on kitchen implements. Cheap pans and tasteless meat, he's setting a really bad example as team captain. This is cheering me right up... unintentionally, no doubt, but a rose rabbit by any other name...

As disappointing as yesterday's result was, without thinking there are 8 results in the premiership era, which are always going to be "worse" to me (8 losses to the Makems 1999-2015--out of 26 meetings, 9 wins, 9 draws). Also, probably worst ever premiership loss for me was "massacring" Man U 0-1 in March 1996. Closely followed by Blackburn away, a few games later (never forgiven Fenton...). There are a couple of relegation games, which were also harder to take.

Was so looking forward to this game; travelling home for it. My enthusiasm has just fallen off a cliff.

'kin hell...that sounds bleak and true, in equal measure. I'm coming home on Wednesday & going to the match: enthusiasm just dropped-off a cliff.

Could be watching on buckshee satellite, in a working man's club in Benwell...just hope you don't end-up with Bali-Belly/some 'Indonesian Grunge' in your skiddies to round off your evening!

A welcome new addition which I have neither the time nor the inclination to do Keeps me right on scores aswell Thanks lads.

That is gruesomely good...

One for the teenagers. I wonder whether the keepers will become more outrageous and alarming, or courageous and charming?

There's something about Ian Cathro, which reminds me of Murray Hewitt from Flight of the Conchords... now can't help thinking of what one of his coaching sessions would be like! http://flipyeahflightoftheconchords.tumblr.com/post/10052765259

After 24 sets of predictions our group guesses (median home and away goals, turned into results) look like this: Chelsea 2-0 Arsenal Aston Villa 2-1 West Brom Bournemouth 1-1 Sunderland Newcastle 2-0 Watford Stoke 1-2 Leicester Swansea 2-1 Everton Man City 3-0 West Ham Spurs 2-1 Crystal Palace Liverpool 2-1 Norwich Southampton 1-2 Man Utd Seven of us have picked the Man City game as the double-up; six Liverpool; five The Toon. Nobody has picked the games at Villa, Stoke, or Southampton yet.

Chelsea 1 v 0 Arsenal Aston Villa 2 v 1 West Brom Bournemouth 2 v 2 Sunderland Newcastle 2 v 1 Watford Stoke 2 v 1 Leicester Swansea 2 v 2 Everton Man City 2 v 1 West Ham Spurs 3 v 2 Crystal Palace Liverpool 1 v 0 Norwich Southampton 0 v 2 Man Utd

All scores to be confirmed by Magpie. Week 5: Record breaking week for the highest scoring/most predicable result: Arsenal Stoke returning 173 points, including an astonishing 16 correct scores, eight of which were doubled-up. There was also a four- and a six-point score chucked in for good measure. Massively disappointing result for us, but not unpredictable it seems. Five correct scores, one of which was doubled-up; our glorious leader’s absence of black and white goggles serving him well again! Respect due to Kaizero, who wins the Bookies Long Shot of the week award (Crystal Ball winging its way to you ...), being the only one to pick a 3-2 win for Leicester; though twelve of us must have been cursing the last goal, having gone for a draw. Highest average score, of the season so far, this week (18.1) and our ‘Group Guess’ (median of our H scores vs. median of our A scores) produced a solid 18 points. This is the same total as Lawro’s guest Mark ‘ManU’ (apparently...) Webber; t’other Mark again scoring 20 points, by Magpie's rules.

This is so obvious. Another thing, we're too direct when we go forward. Nobody can rest on the ball and have others get into position or come forward other than Perez. Sissoko is always looking to go to the byline, Cissé is too weak to hold it up, Wijnaldum looks for quick solutions. We end up trying to penetrate with one or two players all the time. Still not worried after last night, we'll be fine, we have the right ideas. Need to gel and to adjust the team a bit. Colback or Anita needs to sit the next one out, Colback for me. Get Gini down deeper and play Ayoze from the start. Voice of reason Alan. Your words ring true (we all hope), I will give my heed a shake and look forward to playing Watford, Sheff Wed, Norwich, and Stoke at home and our annual wade through the silt into the Palladium of Sheeeite. Not bothered about the other two games, but by end of October here's to an additional 10 points and the fourth round of the COC (fingers crossed).

Yep, you make a valid point TCD. Thauvin had a 'mare and Haidara didn't play very well, either. On a lighter note, I can't read your posts without doing a ( piss poor) Obama voice. Makes me smile very time I catch myself doing it!

I had the same reaction; seriously tickled me, kept laughing to myself today as it popped back into my mind!

Didn't pick that up myself Lotus, but couldn't give you examples/evidence to counter your conclusion. My overall impression of DJ, last night, was courageous, attacking and passionate: he really looked like he wanted to make it happen. If I was a teammate, it's the kind of performance that would have inspired me to dig in harder.

Tbf TCD, he didn't have much of the ball. I would like to re watch the game and count just how many times we attempted to attack down the left, rather than the right. guessing it would be a small percentage, of a hugely unimpressive number of attacks (given the amount of possession we had).

This. I'm getting concerned that SMc can be slow to react in games when tactically plan A doesn't look like working.

Disappointing last night. Looking at his ex Marseille teammates (e.g Payet, and Ayew at Swansea) he looked like the runt of the litter. Looking at their stats over last season gives me more hope: Payet P36 scored 7; Thauvin P36 scored 5; Ayew P27 scored 10 (used more as forward than AM). FT also had 8 assists (don't know about other two). FT also a few years younger. So thinking (a) he wasn't given much of the ball (didn't demand it/do much with it when he had the chance to show teammates he was an outlet); (b) he looked stronger/more comfortable on the right; © he's a flair player not a steady eddy, and will go off the boil in some games; (d) he has shown flashes of greatness in previous games; (e) f**k pessimism! I was enjoying the idea we had a new Ginola.

Doubt we'll see major formation 'surgery' but beginning to think that this makes best use of what we've got: Anita Thauvin Wijnaldum de Jong Cisse Perez Same back four. I know Thauvin had a shocker last night (unforced errors, poor delivery,peripheral) but he's always going to have peaks and troughs and we can't afford to let him get in a tail spin, confidence wise. He also previously linked well with Janmaat. I'd ensure he knows we need him, we appreciate what he has, and give him a half. If no improvement put Sissoko on. I don't accept that Anita played badly last night; it was the most combative I've seen him. He has earned the CDM slot at the mo, IMO. Perez and de Jong having pitch time and looking up for the challenge, were the positives for me( plus Janmaat, that man is a captain). We need to win the next three games, I think we have a good chance of doing so, and if we do, the whole picture changes: our confidence and their confidence restored.

Compelling argument; tbf it is an argument that has been echoing around in here all season. Solution showed itself tonight: SDJ at 10; Perez at LF (or RAa at LF & AP at CF) GW at CM.

Really hoped we'd have a settled effective formation and bit of confidence (lads and us) going into next three games. Will happily settle for first away win of the season at The Palladium of Shite.

Seems like we were set-up to contain a home team with lots of possession and pressing us high up the pitch. Whereas they just sat and let us have the ball and hit us on the break. SMc outmanoeuvred by SB again. Most disappointed by failure to change things more quickly. And mainly one dimensional forward movement: everything through Janmaat. They must have f**king practiced some attacking movements, surely. I know Thauvin was wasteful with the ball, but you've got to use more than just one wing.

Come on Andy, knock in an OG

Perez and de Jong have make a difference. Too late, but a difference.