Altamullan

You could be the missing piece of the jigsaw Troll! Our hopes rest on your talismanic shoulders....oh hang on, just remembered the whole f**king jigsaw's missing. 500 pieces hiding somewhere, alongside my odd socks.

Hopefully he watched De Jong's performance last night and took copious notes. :lol:

I think I've seen that video...

You have flipped your lid. You have turned into Brett. You might be right, but these sh*t results are getting serious, Reefatoon: it is time for the dark arts. Thinking of Vurn ‘Frodo’ Anita letting loose with some magic jewellery: “Hey Frodo, what you doing wearing the ring? All powerful jewellery, is that your new thing? I know it's hard when you're little more than 3 foot 4 Your little ass so close to the floor” You can hear those joyous words at around the 1min 20 mark at: youtube.com/watch?v=SWf3iJjqYCM

After 23 sets of predictions our group guesses (median home and away goals, turned into results) look like this: Spurs 1-2 Man City Leicester 1-2 Arsenal Liverpool 2-1 Aston Villa Man Utd 3-0 Sunderland Southampton 1-1 Swansea Stoke 2-1 Bournemouth West Ham 2-0 Norwich Newcastle 0-2 Chelsea Watford 1-1 Crystal Palace West Brom 1-1 Everton In terms of the safest place for our nomination/double-up, six of us fancy Man Utd to batter Sunderland; ten of us fancy Chelsea to do similar to us. Nobody has picked the games at Southampton, Watford, or West Brom yet.

Spurs 0 v 1 Man City Leicester 1 v 2 Arsenal Liverpool 2 v 1 Aston Villa Man Utd 4 v 0 Sunderland Southampton 0 v 2 Swansea Stoke 1 v 0 Bournemouth West Ham 3 v 0 Norwich Newcastle 2 v 1 Chelsea Watford 1 v 1 Crystal Palace West Brom 1 v 0 Everton

Having 'endured' Watford and Sheff Wed horror shows, I am beginning to think that we will win this this game...I know, the beginning and end of the sentence don't match-up. That is though how I feel. Our bad boy on the pitch, their bad boy not. "Get in to them, and ... (Oh, hang on...) and stay on the pitch!"

Looks a little like a young Henrik Larsson, played a bit like a young Robbie Elliot. Solid, if unspectacular, debut.

He was disgusting, giving ball away every time, looked weak as p*ss and just stood on his man half the time. He needs dropped to see if it jolts him As above, I didn't take that from the game at all...more controversially I would have Obertan as our next best attacking threat, on the night. I had Obertan as our best attacking threat full stop. I couldn't understand McClaren hooking him as he was the only one who looked to be busting a gut to do anything. I thought Wijnaldum, Thauvin and De jong were far far worse than Sissoko mind. Yep; first two especially- feckless and error-strewn, wouldn't be an unfair description. With de Jong, I liked what he was trying to do in the main. However, he had at least three opportunities to score and all were poorly executed. I know he's not a striker, but I would have expected him at least make the goalie work.

He was disgusting, giving ball away every time, looked weak as p*ss and just stood on his man half the time. He needs dropped to see if it jolts him As above, I didn't take that from the game at all...more controversially I would have Obertan as our next best attacking threat, on the night.

Chancel as left back against Sheff Wed B team, whilst disappointing and at times alarming, was also riveting. Reminded me of Titus Bramble in his pomp: alternating from world class tackles to school boy errors, with occasional moments of high-comedy 'ballooning' cross field passes thrown in for good measure.

Disappointing against Sheff Wed: wasteful and ineffective. Not sure if just an off-night (horrible vibe/'nervousness' in the crowd by the way: toxic) or ill suited to deeper role, but disappointing.

I've read alternate views, but to me Vurn was one of the few who put in solid performances against Sheff Wed: no shame, no blame on him for result. That said, my 'few' include Lascelles, Williamson and Obertan!

Played well against Sheff Wed.

Struggling to understand some of the reaction to his performance against Sheff Wed. To me, he looked like our best attacking threat.

Apologies for 'off-message' posting, but Gini's inefective performance in deeper CM role against Sheff Wed, made me wish Colback was playing.

After feeling really hopeful about Thauvin, his 45 mins against (himself?) SW, with half a dozen unforced errors, and a general feckless puppy vibe, made sense of some of the French reaction (good riddance variety) to his leaving Marseille. I liked that he kept trying, but Obertan looked like the new signing/best option (I know...). Also can see the increasing fan frustration and negativity/audible groans only making things worse and potentially putting a young player of his ilk in a tail spin.

There are some astonishing text pizzas of mind vomit on this thread. After taking my nephew to his first match (...), best part of this game for me was driving back and as 2 hour journey became 3.5 hours (A1 closed, then A19 closed...) having the oddly-comforting thought that at least Wednesday's B team are also 'enjoying' this journey too. This article is worth a read: http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/34340357

All scoring to be confirmed by Magpie. Week 6:This week’s scores have gone the way of my enthusiasm for the coming season, from a soaring high to a demoralising low. The highest scoring game returned less than 100 points (Chelsea v Arsenal), with eight correct results, but none of them nominated/doubled-up. In fact, as far as I can see (the one possibility failing a Steward’s enquiry...) for the first time none of us scored the magical, face-saving or form-maintaining, 10 points—though some had near misses. The average score, this week, was a new low of 14.1 points, influenced significantly by West Ham’s heroics. This match was nominated by 11 of us, and we only totalled two points from it; a couple of folks who went for 3-2 getting a point for the ‘2’. Annoying for those of us who contemplated a post-Europe hangover 1-2 (woulda, shoulda, coulda, a common mantra...). Lawro would have scored 15 points this week, and his guest Stuart ‘Notts Forest’ Broad 12 (gave them both Liverpool as nomination)— 12 was also our ‘Group Guess’ (median of our H scores vs. median of our A scores) total— showing we’re not the only ones struggling with some low probability outcomes this week. Have to say a well done to tgarve, for being the only one to call the Southampton result, and commiserations to Greg for missing the deadline for the Chelsea game, as this was the match that seemed easiest to predict/produced the most points. Here's hoping the results in week 7 are more predicable (...except ours, of course! )

The rabbit. He also bought supermarket meat and some naff looking sainsburys own saucepans they had on special offer. Very, very disappointing for a man of this wealth. What kind of meat is he supposed to buy though?. Is there a select cuts that Us peasants can't afford same goes for cooking implements If I had millions I wouldn't go and pay extortionate amounts on pots and f***ing pans I would, I'd spend a b****** fortune on kitchen implements. Cheap pans and tasteless meat, he's setting a really bad example as team captain. This is cheering me right up... unintentionally, no doubt, but a rose rabbit by any other name...

As disappointing as yesterday's result was, without thinking there are 8 results in the premiership era, which are always going to be "worse" to me (8 losses to the Makems 1999-2015--out of 26 meetings, 9 wins, 9 draws). Also, probably worst ever premiership loss for me was "massacring" Man U 0-1 in March 1996. Closely followed by Blackburn away, a few games later (never forgiven Fenton...). There are a couple of relegation games, which were also harder to take.

Was so looking forward to this game; travelling home for it. My enthusiasm has just fallen off a cliff.

'kin hell...that sounds bleak and true, in equal measure. I'm coming home on Wednesday & going to the match: enthusiasm just dropped-off a cliff.

Could be watching on buckshee satellite, in a working man's club in Benwell...just hope you don't end-up with Bali-Belly/some 'Indonesian Grunge' in your skiddies to round off your evening!

A welcome new addition which I have neither the time nor the inclination to do Keeps me right on scores aswell Thanks lads.