Skjaere9

Shades of Fat Mike running off Keegan, this. Enjoy the relegation battle, Forest.

May his dodgy groin explode into 1000 pieces.

Lewis Hall pocketing Lamine at SJP while Woltemade bangs in a hat trick will be immense! Can he do Tino flips tho?

Enjoy your season on loan at Galatasaray, motherfucker.

Fuck it, 3-1 to the Toon. Elanga, Tonali, Gordon.

150 for Isak, 100 back the other way for Ramos, up the Arab states and fuck the cartel.

Is that the guy who’s like Dan Burn height playing central midfield, son of an NBA basketball player? No clue how he’s Moroccan though? anyways, I’m into it just for the sheer weirdness of it all. Bring him home.

I did 😅

1-3. Big Joe hat trick in spectacular surprise return to playing as a 9 😂

I’m pretty sure Elanga will prove better than Big Vurn Anita, so probably not objectively the worst, but this summer is carrying depressingly vibes to that one (and the earlier summer of Lee Bowyer) in terms of the club utterly failing to push on and seize a golden opportunity to move up the hierarchy. Probably more depressing now because everything else surrounding the window—trophy, CL, quality of manager and key squad players, wealth and alleged ambition of owners—seemed so positive as of June 1. Anyways, is Big Vurn still alive? Bring him in on a free for midfield depth? 🙃

Lascelles, Murphy, Longstaff, Schär, Krafth, Joelinton… quite a few of them, no?

For his next magic trick… Eddie Howe converts Big Joe into a class No 9 😅

I’ve literally never felt this way before but I’m actually desperate to see Big Jam come on as an injury time sub to put a reducer on VVD or something. Get into them, fuck ‘em up.

Very hard to avoid the conclusion that Staveley, despite having some faults, was the most important person at the club, seemingly the only one who actually understood and had juice in both Newcastle and Saudi, could actually get deals done, etc. Just disasterclass at all levels above Eddie since she’s gone. Come back plz?

Could we jointly challenge the PSR regime in court with PFA? Make the case that we want to pay Isak 350k pw, we think he’s worth it, but cannot solely due to PSR rules which are both anticompetitive at club level and an unlawful de facto wage cap at player level? Fuck this whole stupid system man

Doesn’t this Man City speculation just reek of Burnley leaking to try to push us to rush to bid something above City’s buy-back clause?

Easy for me to say, but I’d just put in an official bid to activate the release clause today and call everybody’ bluff.

Loan with obligation could help though — that’s how we fit Hall into the same window as Tonali, Toni, Barnes, etc… No idea why Frankfurt would do that though.

Could we bring in 70M combined for Longstaff, Willock, and Barnes? upgrading those three to Elanga, Ekitike, and Gallagher would give us so much more strength and tactical flexibility in the attack and MF, and I think still leave us enough PSR headroom for Trafford and a CB?

I’d love to see a Ballon d’Or winner in a black and white shirt as much as anybody, but he must be about 60 years old by now? Surely his pace will have gone?

He lost me at calling him Al Cannoush tbh 😂 Not sure we could handle this guy on the basis of spelling / pronunciation carnage alone…

Surely we could compete money-wise with Athleti though?

Garnacho? (ducks)

Have there been any well-sourced rumors on Alkliouche this summer at all? Forget Mbeumo, Maghnes is the one to fill the Hatem-shaped hole in my heart…

Three down: - Sunderland (obviously) - Man Utd (stick with Amorim too long) - Man City (start season on -50 pts)