Armchair Pundit

Agreed, West Ham getting him would boil my piss, Man City I could understand.

We need to go in fast, hard, with all gun blazing... bring us Paqueta, Amanda!

Isn't it because the season's started early due to the world cup?

I wouldn't swap Howe for anyone right now, he's brilliant.

Added to the fact they were all crowing how Gerrard was better than Howe when he first came in because he'd made an instant impact, which turned out to be jumping the gun somewhat... brilliant.

Would it be worth trying a cheeky bid for Andre Silva from Leipzig?

Brilliant, seem really weird to be celebrating a good first game of the season!

Unbelievable, I get fed up with constantly having to refresh my preferred method of following the match, switch to the radio commentary and we bloody score! Typical!

The difference Maddison over Willock would make, deffo need a striker though based on Wilson's performance.

Colback's hair man, looks a right tit

Targett and Maxi have linked up well, Joe's been putting himself about, Miggy's looked keen, Burn's been pretty solid and Tripps has been directing well. Just haven't had anything decent from Wilson really.

Making it obvious we need a decent striker this window I think.

Wilson's been non-existent so far

I've reverted to BBC Radio Newcastle commentary on a second window, it's a bit out of sync but meh

It was jumping back and forth so much I've just seen Shearer do his cruciate again!

Lol, now we have the picture stable, but no sound

Did Tripps go off? I wasn't sure if he was going to stay or go, seemed like the hokey cokey.

Think Tripps fucked himself up with all the rapid getting up and down.

It's giving me a headache, if it keeps jumping like this I'm gonna have a fecking seizure!

Is Botman playing on the left or right of central defense?

Come on, this is arse.

My steam's died altogether now

Less than Chelsea

Which bit?!