OpenC

Premier league player, probably mid to late 2000s, black lad with bleached blond/white hair which he often shaved patterns into. No idea who he played for. I feel like he was an aggravating shithouse. He may have had three names but was not Luis Boa Morte, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink or Papa Bouba Diop. Who is he? Been irritating me all day. There's a chance it's actually Djibril Cisse but I'm sure I'm thinking of someone else

The only reason they haven't got more statues is that they win fuck all and they hate everybody within weeks

Didn't realise Sunderland were doing so well in the championship; their women's side might be playing at a higher level than their blokes are before long

Aye looks like a league game

And another for Dodds

Going off Instagram only, they've come back from one down and are leading two one at Fylde in a cup competition. I don't know for sure but I assume it's a league cup rather than the league cup. Nice to see Tyler Dodds getting among the goals, she's a busy player and designated set piece taker but she never gets many opportunities

He's bang on like, we're fucking diabolical tonight

nobody can get used to them being with the stickies that neebody looks at

I think it's possible both to admire his influence on the English game and his undoubted talent, but at the same time to hold him a bawling manchild of the first order

Stretchy body structure The fuck is stretchy body structure

The viewing public would get a better feel for it if the camera was on the pretty empty opposite stand where the VIPs and dignitaries sit. Shame they have it directly above all the actual fans so you can't see them - it gives the impression of there being nobody there since there are only a couple of dozen like me who prefer to stand on the barriers behind a goal.

Ferguson was getting a lot of time and is presumably injured; the rest are fairly settled although as I say Elson and McQuade should be starting for my money

Aye, didn't deserve more imo. I wondered if there'd be a post defeat hangover but Forest been good so can't really object. Elson and McQuade should be starting for me, like

Right subs for me Fingers now too cold to type so I'll just watch the rest

No, the wind is weird. Flag next to me hardly moving but you can see it affecting the ball (the wind, not the flag ). Must just be infrequently gusty I guess.

We're second to a lot of things we'd normally be first to. Forest playing well mind, good fast physical game

Fuck Mistakes all over the pitch like

Yeah, it's a good game. Bloody freezing like

Under some uncharacteristic pressure here, been struggling to get it up the field. I think the wind is playing a part.

Good finish and good corner too, Tyler Dodds takes better set pieces than most of the blokes despite also spending part of her week as a Taylor Swift tribute act

New keeper about the same height as Grace Donnelly right enough. The reserve (Hannah Reid? Can't remember) definitely the tallest of the three but never gets a look.

Bit of a test of fortitude for them today after a mauling (no disgrace but a mauling) in the cup; tough home tie in what looks like apocalyptic weather conditions with a couple of new faces on the bench maybe. Might not be an easy one. Anyone heading up?

Also this the tall tales are getting epic

The fuck is this Bong eyed, whiskers shaved on the left. Who approves these things Apologies in advance if it was the winning entry in some well meaning charitable competition for folk that just can't draw or colour in for one reason or another Mackems will not approve of its Jimmy Hill chin either