Joseph

My only criticism of Howe is that he insists on giving Murphy regular game time. Any random 17 year old from the academy would offer more than that little creep.

He's fucking class, and should start ahead of at least Fraser, Willock, Almiron and Murphy.

He's a pretty lazy defender. Constantly steps in for challenges instead of tracking his man and loses out more often than not.

I don't even get excited when Almiron gets in good positions. 999/1000 he's going to do something pathetic.

It's corruption. No doubt.

Almost no guile, intelligence or creativity in the final third with Joelinton/Willock/Fraser/Almiron.

Why are you typing in a Geordie accent to denote a stupid person? Weird stylistic choice!

Fabinho you disgusting bald coward.

Could do with never seeing Longstaff again to be honest. He just hasn't got it.

Last chance saloon for young Toonjam.

Why? Does Howe have a history of being dishonest/sneaky on player absences?

Are we?! I’d say that third midfield spot is probably our weakest area (especially if we’re planning to use Isak as a wide man when Wilson is fit).

This is just insane fanfiction that has no relationship with reality.

Darlow is very bad and will let us down badly if he’s ever seriously relied upon this season.

Great strike. No overlap from his left back/Chris Wood existing meant the double-team was very tough to deal with, so can't judge the rest of his performance.

If we don't bring in another midfielder it's a matter of time until he displaces Willock (or anyone else vying for that third spot). Convinced he's a star.

It was obviously agreed - they thought a piledriver had a better chance than Trippier's finesse at that range.

Ritchie on to run down the clock. aw fuck im so far behind

Naively hoped Transmere might be the last time we ever have to suffer the existence of Jacob Murphy.

What does he do? Doesn't score, doesn't make intelligent runs, doesn't hold the ball up. I actually think it's astonishing how well thought of he is by a big percentage of our support. He exists as a body, nothing more.

Willock is a real lily-livered fucker sometimes.

No Isak? What a pisser.

Yeah, I'm thinking she might have got him mixed up with Bruno. Will send her some abuse on social media to put her right.

Lass covering the game on TalkSport said there were rumours that Maxi is injured and she hasn't seen him take to the pitch with the rest of the squad.

I’m going to scream in to a pillow. Fuck me.