GallowgatePigeon

I don't know which other CL calibre team in the PL would show any interest in offering a new contract to an injury prone, 33 year old striker who got 0 goals or assists in 20 games last season. And yeah yeah yeah, I know he's a nice guy and probably a sound bloke to have around the place before anyone chips in with that birthday card pish. But FFS, is this guy really gonna play an active role on the pitch to help elevate us to the level we all believe we can attain? He's absolutely finished, get him to fuck.

Fraser Forster for Celtic vs Barca in 2012 & vs Rangers in the 2019 League Cup Final are two of the most astonishing goalkeeping performances you'll ever see. Tim Krul vs Spurs levels of heroism. Go watch the highlights.

I asked AI to generate a Luke Edwards Newcastle Transfer update tweet: "I am a bald nonce and I am objectively terrible at my job due to the fact that I haven't got a clue about what's going on behind the scenes at Newcastle. When I approach my sources for exclusive scoops they almost certainly think "Oh heaven have mercy, it's that fucking gimp Edwards again. Maybe I'll feed him some utter bilge that no one will believe, maybe he'll get the hint and fuck off then." If you're looking for a transfer rumour, I thoroughly recommend you translate a Burnsie tweet to Old Norse, change the font to wingdings and then read it backwards, it'll still be more accurate than one of my exclusives. Shame on anyone who takes me seriously. I should be fired into the sun. Luke." Wow. AI is getting scarily realistic nowadays!

Seriously though. Can't wait to see how this guy gets on, Ajax would be an amazing loan for him if it materialises.

You have to seriously question the work ethic, commitment and learning capacity of someone who has known from at least February that he was coming here and yet isn't fluent in English, let alone has a Geordie twang. I don't like this shoddy attitude, if you've got time for a siesta, you've got time to study flashcards. This guy is a bum. Get him to fuck.

Dear God! How many cleaners had to be sacked to fund that?! Good work Brexit Jim!

Tbf, Crystal Palace probably are showing interest in Lewis Miley. Just like how I show interest in winning the lottery.

Absolute hogwash. No chance are we anywhere near paying the wages a high profile international who was on the verge of joining a Saudi club. I'm fucking done with this window already!

TL;DR, I'm sure it's a load of pish though. Stop shagging your calculator, forget comparing the noncey stats of some shitey championship players and remind yourself of the real facts of the matter: Your club is a wretched bilge of detritus. Your fans are braindead knuckle draggers who can't accept the fact that you are, always have been and always will be 'that other team in the North East' and that your shit splat town is often referred to as 'the place near Newcastle'. There isn't one thing your club does better than ours.

Tier 0. He's the GOAT.

IMO, he gets this summer to cling onto his very generous place in Tier 3, after that, he starts sliding

Can we get a sticky at the start of the thread which ranks journalists by reliability? Tier 0 (god): Frank Chippa Tier 1 (take it as gospel): Ornstein Tier 2 (sit up and pay attention): Romano Tier 3 (sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit): Alex Crook, Pizza Rob Tier 4 (don't hold your breath): Waugh, Caulkin Tier 5 (some shitebag journo talking out his arse): Hope, Ryder, Bald Nonce Tier 6 (Burnsie): Burnsie

Absolute non-starter. Lazy link from some shitebag journo desperate for clicks.

It's not listed on the website yet but the Sunderland branch tend to meet up in the Black Cats bar

I'm fucking sick of this window already

Always preferred Trafford anyway

My relegation wish list (Sunlun aside as that's a cop out): Bournemouth, Fulham, Brentford Enough with the noncey southern spreadsheet shaggers type teams. Yeah, they're well run and make smart signings and hire good managers but their clubs are soulless non entities with no edge, let's get some more scummy northern bastards back in the PL Promotion wish list: Boro, Sheffield Utd & Wednesday

1. Predicting 2. The 3. League 4. At 5. This 6. Stage 7. Is 8. Pointless 9. Anything 10. Can 11. Happen 12. Palace 13. It's 14. Better 15. To 16. Just 17. Enjoy 18. The 19. Unpredictability 20. Sunlun

Fuck Hope, the cunt doesn't have a clue. File him in the same bilge riddled category as the Bald Nonce, Burnsie and Ryder as shite bags who make shit up. Even Frank Chippa is more reliable

Shhhh, I'm reverse jinxing it!

We'd have a decent 5-a-side team of tedious transfer sagas which never materialised since the takeover Paqueta, Maddison, Guehi, Mbuemo, Maramaduke

I thought the same about Tonali.....wait.............check Garcias betfair account!

Why are these chimps so desperate to be liked that they'll make up complete hogwash like the post above or create sock puppet accounts on RTG pretending to be "*insert opposition here* fan in peyce". Are they really so insecure that they create the football forum equivalent of an imaginary friend to feel secure in their own skin.