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The Magedia Thread - Sunderland suck trollolololol

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From the Daily Mash:

 

Opening ceremony a 'good time to bury bad Newcastle'

27-07-12

THE government plans to bulldoze Newcastle while the nation’s attention is on the opening of the Olympic Games.

 

 

The top-secret scheme, codenamed ‘Operation Biffa Brown Ale’, was revealed in a leaked memo last night and will see the economically-challenged city razed to the ground, then replaced with a llama park.

 

An extract from the document reads: “We are talking about a city of woebegotten, boat-greeting lard addicts who as a species very probably only crawled out of the sea about 120 years ago.

 

“They will have 45 minutes notice to bundle together their belongings – in which shirts do not figure highly – then go find somewhere else to infest, preferably North of the border or beyond.”

 

The government had planned to save some of the more interesting features of Newcastle, but has since decided to trash the lot.

 

Special advisor Eleanor Shaw said: “Actually, all you’re left with once you’re razed the useless bits is that bridge. And when all’s said and done, it’s just a f***ing bridge. Might as well bury that too.

 

“What’s the point in being in Government if we can’t make a difference?”

 

Emma Bradford, head of the Newcastle Tourist board said: “No one has consulted us about this scheme, which many in Newcastle will find quite offensive.

 

“We have a great deal to offer here, including multi-storey car parks which are the equal of any in London or Birmingham.”

 

Despite growing evidence to the contrary, David Cameron continues to deny the demolition plans. He said: “These ideas are very much at the think tank stage, there are no immediate plans to bury Newcastle in its own soil, rubber and cesspipes – however noxious and overflowing they might be.

 

“I would advise everyone in Newcastle to just keep their eyes glued to the telly this evening, although if they should notice the ground shaking it’s probably best to embrace the Olympic spirit and run.”

 

:p gits  :lol:

 

Not even remotely amusing.

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Guest JS

Guest JS

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From the Daily Mash:

 

Opening ceremony a 'good time to bury bad Newcastle'

27-07-12

THE government plans to bulldoze Newcastle while the nation’s attention is on the opening of the Olympic Games.

 

 

The top-secret scheme, codenamed ‘Operation Biffa Brown Ale’, was revealed in a leaked memo last night and will see the economically-challenged city razed to the ground, then replaced with a llama park.

 

An extract from the document reads: “We are talking about a city of woebegotten, boat-greeting lard addicts who as a species very probably only crawled out of the sea about 120 years ago.

 

“They will have 45 minutes notice to bundle together their belongings – in which shirts do not figure highly – then go find somewhere else to infest, preferably North of the border or beyond.”

 

The government had planned to save some of the more interesting features of Newcastle, but has since decided to trash the lot.

 

Special advisor Eleanor Shaw said: “Actually, all you’re left with once you’re razed the useless bits is that bridge. And when all’s said and done, it’s just a f***ing bridge. Might as well bury that too.

 

“What’s the point in being in Government if we can’t make a difference?”

 

Emma Bradford, head of the Newcastle Tourist board said: “No one has consulted us about this scheme, which many in Newcastle will find quite offensive.

 

“We have a great deal to offer here, including multi-storey car parks which are the equal of any in London or Birmingham.”

 

Despite growing evidence to the contrary, David Cameron continues to deny the demolition plans. He said: “These ideas are very much at the think tank stage, there are no immediate plans to bury Newcastle in its own soil, rubber and cesspipes – however noxious and overflowing they might be.

 

“I would advise everyone in Newcastle to just keep their eyes glued to the telly this evening, although if they should notice the ground shaking it’s probably best to embrace the Olympic spirit and run.”

 

:p gits  :lol:

 

Not even remotely amusing.

 

Absolutely fucking terrible.

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healthyaddiction

healthyaddiction

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The Mackem small time paranoia about perceived NE BBC bias kicks in again...

 

BBC North East News

 

Scott and Houghton described as 'North East' players, yet athletes from 'Wallsend' and 'Middlesbrough' are name checked complete with their locality.

 

Read more: http://www.readytogo.net/smb/showthread.php?t=719406#ixzz22WVuA1Kp

 

:lol:

 

They said that houghton was from Durham the other night.

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Optimistic Nut

Optimistic Nut

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The French love-in continues...I love how they refer to us as "Les Toons". :smitten:

 

Nowt new but nice to see how well thought of we are abroad again.

 

http://www.maxifoot.fr/football/article-16335.htm

 

Newcastle: With a transfer window on track, Ben Arfa and co. believe in the title!

 

The 'place to be' for the French in the Premier League is no longer Arsenal, but Newcastle United. After internationals Hatem Ben Arfa & Yohan Cabaye joined, Mathieu Debuchy amongst others want to join the ambitious Magpies...

 

"Today I'm still determined to try something else. I'd like to meet with my President to make that clear between us. Since I decided I wanted to leave, I'm very keen for it to happen", said Lille's Mathieu Debuchy who is waiting for just one thing, to join his former teammate Yohan Cabaye at Newcastle United.

 

The northern England club returned proudly to the Premier League in 2010 after the disaster of relegation at the end of the 2008-2009 season. Since promotion,  they finished an honest 12th position, before finishing in May in a very good 5th, just outside the Champions League places. It is an ambitious Toon who will appear this season: the same method applies, their shopping is being done in Ligue 1, and it's looking good.

 

Yanga-Mbiwa would not say no, Loic Remy still being watched...

LOSC's right-back Mathieu Debuchy is the Toons main transfer priority. Newcastle wish to add the international right-back, in a position where they only have the genereux Danny Simpson. The transfer is waiting to be approved by President Michel Seydoux, but for the moment they have decided to block its player.

 

But the English are satisfied with just that. After signing the promising Romain Amalfitano from Reims, Newcastle sounded out Marseille with a €12m bid for Loic Remy, and have shown an interest in Montpellier's rock, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa.

 

The latter also didn't hide his interest, "I know that Newcastle is interested in me. It would be a great opportunity for me, and I hope that later I can join Milan. To join Newcastle before Milan would give me the chance to mature and gain experience".

 

 

A team that remains intact and ambitious

 

But what proves to be keeping Newcastle in shape, isn't the cast of Frenchmen they have, the the ability of the Northumberland club to retain it's best players. Cabaye, coverted by Manchester United, has expressed his commitment to the black & whites. Demba Ba in particular, who had a release clause of €8.5m up until 31 July 2012, didn't pack up and leave, and could carry the prolific Senegalese double act with Papiss Cisse (30 goals between them in the Premier League last season).

 

A situation that gives confidence to Frenchman Hatem Ben Arfa. "All the players have stayed here. . I think we have to have confidence as we have very good players. Maybe if we feel very good we can finish between fourth and first. Why not? Why can we not say we could be champions? Anything is possible." he told the Evening Chronicle. Well Arsenal with their Frenchies did it well, right?

 

 

 

 

 

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Sifu

Sifu

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The French love-in continues...I love how they refer to us as "Les Toons". :smitten:

 

Nowt new but nice to see how well thought of we are abroad again.

 

http://www.maxifoot.fr/football/article-16335.htm

 

Newcastle: With a transfer window on track, Ben Arfa and co. believe in the title!

 

The 'place to be' for the French in the Premier League is no longer Arsenal, but Newcastle United. After internationals Hatem Ben Arfa & Yohan Cabaye joined, Mathieu Debuchy amongst others want to join the ambitious Magpies...

 

"Today I'm still determined to try something else. I'd like to meet with my President to make that clear between us. Since I decided I wanted to leave, I'm very keen for it to happen", said Lille's Mathieu Debuchy who is waiting for just one thing, to join his former teammate Yohan Cabaye at Newcastle United.

 

The northern England club returned proudly to the Premier League in 2010 after the disaster of relegation at the end of the 2008-2009 season. Since promotion,  they finished an honest 12th position, before finishing in May in a very good 5th, just outside the Champions League places. It is an ambitious Toon who will appear this season: the same method applies, their shopping is being done in Ligue 1, and it's looking good.

 

Yanga-Mbiwa would not say no, Loic Remy still being watched...

LOSC's right-back Mathieu Debuchy is the Toons main transfer priority. Newcastle wish to add the international right-back, in a position where they only have the genereux Danny Simpson. The transfer is waiting to be approved by President Michel Seydoux, but for the moment they have decided to block its player.

 

But the English are satisfied with just that. After signing the promising Romain Amalfitano from Reims, Newcastle sounded out Marseille with a €12m bid for Loic Remy, and have shown an interest in Montpellier's rock, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa.

 

The latter also didn't hide his interest, "I know that Newcastle is interested in me. It would be a great opportunity for me, and I hope that later I can join Milan. To join Newcastle before Milan would give me the chance to mature and gain experience".

 

 

A team that remains intact and ambitious

 

But what proves to be keeping Newcastle in shape, isn't the cast of Frenchmen they have, the the ability of the Northumberland club to retain it's best players. Cabaye, coverted by Manchester United, has expressed his commitment to the black & whites. Demba Ba in particular, who had a release clause of €8.5m up until 31 July 2012, didn't pack up and leave, and could carry the prolific Senegalese double act with Papiss Cisse (30 goals between them in the Premier League last season).

 

A situation that gives confidence to Frenchman Hatem Ben Arfa. "All the players have stayed here. . I think we have to have confidence as we have very good players. Maybe if we feel very good we can finish between fourth and first. Why not? Why can we not say we could be champions? Anything is possible." he told the Evening Chronicle. Well Arsenal with their Frenchies did it well, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loved seeing those reportages on French TV/websites last season. More of the same this season please!

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Turnbull2000

Turnbull2000

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Posted

Guardian predictions so far...

 

1 Man C

2 Man U

3 Chelsea

4 Arsenal

5 Spurs

6 Liverpool

7 Newcastle

8 Everton

9

10 Fulham

11

12 Aston Villa

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2012/aug/10/premier-league-preview-newcastle

 

And Louise Taylor on form...

 

Come January, Ba, Cissé and Tioté will almost certainly be bound for the Africa Cup of Nations in South Africa, which explains why Pardew is so keen on signing Anita and a striker
 
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Dinho lad

Dinho lad

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Posted

Guardian predictions so far...

 

1 Man C

2 Man U

3 Chelsea

4 Arsenal

5 Spurs

6 Liverpool

7 Newcastle

8 Everton

9

10 Fulham

11

12 Aston Villa

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2012/aug/10/premier-league-preview-newcastle

 

And Louise Taylor on form...

 

Come January, Ba, Cissé and Tioté will almost certainly be bound for the Africa Cup of Nations in South Africa, which explains why Pardew is so keen on signing Anita and a striker
 

 

 

Stupid whore. I hope Tiote chocks her on his wand.

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