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Michael Owen gets injured; rejoice!


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Does he really think people are gonna read it and go

 

"f***ing hell, this lad's the business. Get him signed!"

 

Be brilliant if he can't find a club this summer and ends up on a meager, pay-as-you-play, type of deal at Hull or something.

 

I'd laugh, but I have this awful feeling if he can't find a club, he'll come crawling back to us and we'll be stupid enough to give him another contract.

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Does he really think people are gonna read it and go

 

"f***ing hell, this lad's the business. Get him signed!"

 

Be brilliant if he can't find a club this summer and ends up on a meager, pay-as-you-play, type of deal at Hull or something.

 

I'd laugh, but I have this awful feeling if he can't find a club, he'll come crawling back to us and we'll be stupid enough to give him another contract.

 

The beauty of this is that we're broke so there's literally no way of offering him any kind of contract that he'd accept.

 

But on the other hand, we're broke.

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God I hope someone creates a fake one, so much opportunity for giggles :lol:

 

I'll make one for Cacapa.

 

Would be funnier for Shola tbh.

 

Howay, at least Cacapa gives you something to work with.

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I can't really understand the need for this brochure like. Not only because pretty much anyone who follows football at all can tell you everything about Michael Owen (formerly prolific goalscorer, costs a lot, gets injured a lot), but because his agency then ran to the press to tell them about it. Strange IMO.

 

In any case, it'd be fucking nice if he had any sort of message for Newcastle fans. STILL not said a thing since we were relegated despite being club captain. Disgraceful.

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Guest Phil K

good riddence and good luck to him.

 

Agree with the "good riddance" part, but hope his luck is 110% BAD

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Article with direct quotes from the brochure.

 

"Once upon a time Michael Owen was coveted by every club in the world.

 

His breathtaking pace and lethal goal-scoring instinct established the young striker as a 24-carat superstar.

 

His clean-cut image and impeccable sporting pedigree ensured only David Beckham could claim to be a bigger star in the England set-up.

 

How times have changed. This month his management company, Wasserman Media Group, have sent a 34-page document to selected clubs telling them why they should give Owen a chance.

 

The man who honed his footballing skills at Liverpool is virtually saying: "Gizza job," just like Yosser Hughes did all those years ago in Boys From The Blackstuff.

 

Like Yosser, the Scouse anti-hero of the Eighties, Owen needs a break.

 

Unlike Yosser, he isn't broke. Owen, 29, is out of contract on June 30 and available as a free agent.

 

Sunday Mirror Sport has a copy of the WMG document.

 

It's an astonishing read full of hype and marketing speak.

 

It claims: "Were it not for an unhappy spell at Real Madrid and two injury-scarred years at Newcastle, he would be spoken about in the same breath as Torres and Ronaldo and valued in the priceless figures that only match-winning goalscorers ever justify.

 

"Through circumstances he finds himself, with his contract expiring, about to make the biggest decision of his football career."

 

Owen's advisers admit their client wants to stay in English football, which makes the logic behind translating their sales pitch into Italian and Spanish in the document hard to comprehend.

 

But they love their buzz words.

 

On a page revealing "Michael Owen - Brand Values" they list 21 of his virtues including "Fit and healthy" - which will provoke disbelief on Tyneside.

 

Then there is "Good looking", "Sincere", "Respected" and "Charismatic".

 

The fact that four pages are spent defending his injury record suggests they know why some clubs may be reluctant to step into the breach now.

 

Advertisement - article continues below »

 

There is even a section titled: "Tabloid stories and the Truth!" That deals with suggestions that Owen is always injured, has lost his desire and made a mistake in joining Newcastle.

 

Owen has earned a fortune from football.

 

His £17million capture from Real Madrid in 2005 was hailed in Newcastle as a footballing coup. About 20,000 fans turned out to welcome him joyously to St James' Park.

 

Unfortunately, he is now acknowledged as the most expensive transfer flop in the club's history.

 

Owen's four years on Tyneside have cost Newcastle an astounding £37m in wages and transfer payments. Even Freddy Shepherd, the man who signed him, admitted: "At the time it was seen as a major coup for Newcastle to land England's top scorer.

 

"We took a gamble to give Newcastle fans a player most people thought was a worldclass signing.

 

"But it quickly went sour for us, although to be fair he had bad luck with injuries.

 

"In retrospect it turned out to be a disaster for us although we couldn't have known that at the time."

 

Sam Rush, Chief Operating Officer of WMG, told Sunday Mirror Sport: "As one of the world's leading sports agencies, Wasserman regularly utilise comprehensive documentation and audiovisual material to illustrate the benefits of our clients.

 

"Although there has been interest from abroad, Michael has told us that he would prefer to stay in the Premier League.

 

"In the week after the season ended, we prepared a document showing all the information an interested club would require and this was circulated to a select group.

 

"We also included a medical report and answers to frequentlyasked questions as well as a review of his commercial benefits and international name awareness."

 

A Premier League chairman, who received the Owen sales pitch, said: "I've never seen anything like it.

 

"I didn't need 34 pages to know who Michael is, what he's done and why we should sign him.

 

"I think we all know the pros and cons surrounding Owen."

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/2009/06/14/gimme-a-job-115875-21439030/

 

 

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I think it's an interesting question, considering how good Owen was at Liverpool, had he stayed injury free would he still be a world class striker? Not at the level of Ronaldo, he's a whole other level entirely, but still, would he have remained that pacy goal-getter he was at Liverpool?

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Guest firetotheworks

I think it's an interesting question, considering how good Owen was at Liverpool, had he stayed injury free would he still be a world class striker? Not at the level of Ronaldo, he's a whole other level entirely, but still, would he have remained that pacy goal-getter he was at Liverpool?

 

At his best it would still be a disgrace to compare him with Torres and Ronaldo. He's never been anywhere near their level. Without his pace he would have needed skill along the lines of someone like Saviola. He doesnt even have that.

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Huge shot in the foot this brochure business.

 

He's turned himself into a bit of a joke now. A lot of negative publicity is what it has brought on if anything.

 

Karma, karma, karma ...

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"On a page revealing "Michael Owen - Brand Values" they list 21 of his virtues including "Fit and healthy" - which will provoke disbelief on Tyneside.

 

Then there is "Good looking", "Sincere", "Respected" and "Charismatic".

 

 

My favourite part  :lol:

 

I wouldn't be surprised if this finished him and he had to get more hands on with wanking his horses off.

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At best he's always been an average footballer who's made his mark with pace and later instinct, comparing himself to Ronaldo says it all about the delusional little c***

 

To be fair, it's his agency that's making the comparison. Who knows if he actually believes that.

 

I'll be happy, though, when his contract is up and he's officially moved on. What a disaster he's been for us.

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