Guest GAMMELL Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 The Big Sam today: "Got a hole in the crotch of my cobalt blue Juicy Couture tracksuit. I was sat on the bus, looked down & saw my ballbag staring back at me." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 TheBig_Sam: I've been sniffing a big felt tip pen for two hours now. I have a little neon pink moustache. It's both decadent and outrageously cute. I feel incredible - like I can do anything. I just sang 'Nessun Dorma' word for word and I can't even speak African. Amazing. JBJoeyBarton: Just been down the new gym. The machines got everything fair play.................twix, mars, crisps, lucazade....I'm definately going back! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geordiesned Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 The BigSam: Big Brother is back. Haven't seen so many cunts on TV since Gary Neville lent me "Mingefest 14" on DVD. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 TheBig_Sam is on fire today: The wife got me a vuvuzela for the World Cup. Was fairly underwhelmed until I had a go at it - and realised she'd filled it with Yop. Nice. Who fancies meeting up for a glass of port and some garlic bread for the World Cup today? Perhaps at a queer bar? Cos I'm a big fat queer. Ignore that last one - mother is here and she thinks she's being funny. Caught her farting into my bowl of Walkers 'Sensations' & writing "shagged a homeless man today" beside each date on my World Cup calendar. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palnese Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GAMMELL Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Just for TheBig Sam tweets alone, I absolutely love that site I do have tears rolling down me face reading them Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 What really annoys me on this twitter, is when people post something, and a link, and the link is to a map of where they are.... why? is there a reason for this, or do people just like letting people know where they are? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ObiChrisKenobi Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 What really annoys me on this twitter, is when people post something, and a link, and the link is to a map of where they are.... why? is there a reason for this, or do people just like letting people know where they are? So you know where they are and can punch them in the face for having shit tweets. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 What really annoys me on this twitter, is when people post something, and a link, and the link is to a map of where they are.... why? is there a reason for this, or do people just like letting people know where they are? So you know where they are and can punch them in the face for having s*** tweets. Seriously though, is it really just to say "I'm here and I'm on Twitter......here!" ? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiled in Texas Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 What really annoys me on this twitter, is when people post something, and a link, and the link is to a map of where they are.... why? is there a reason for this, or do people just like letting people know where they are? So you know where they are and can punch them in the face for having s*** tweets. Seriously though, is it really just to say "I'm here and I'm on Twitter......here!" ? It's also good for telling people that you are not at home, so feel free come and burgle the house. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Got a letter about some kid in Liberia I'm supposed to be sponsoring. Something about some militia in his village. Straight into the bin. Not gonna lie to you - my cock is humming today. These velvet underpants are playing havoc with the air circulation down there Hands up who likes titties the most? Too late dickheads - Big Sam had his arm raised before the question was even asked. I just had a poo and a pee at the same time. Love it when that happens. I call it a "slurpy". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Got a letter about some kid in Liberia I'm supposed to be sponsoring. Something about some militia in his village. Straight into the bin. Not gonna lie to you - my cock is humming today. These velvet underpants are playing havoc with the air circulation down there Hands up who likes titties the most? Too late dickheads - Big Sam had his arm raised before the question was even asked. I just had a poo and a pee at the same time. Love it when that happens. I call it a "slurpy". I love that one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeyt Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Graeme Swann's Tweet: ''A pretty uninspiring ninety minutes that. I sometimes wonder why I bought this desperate housewives box set '' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
1878 Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Big Sam yesterday Simon Weston popped round last night to show off his new Fiat 500. Lovely it is. We went on a pussy cruise round Blackburn. Then 'Sex on Fire' by Kings of Leon came on the radio and he started to cry. He's still got so many issues to work though. I bought him an ice cream then shouted "whores!" at a gaggle of bingo sluts. That cheeky smile was soon back on his face. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Big Sam: Just kicked a cat in the face. His look of bemusement and hurt feelings was hilarious. Terrible perfomance. Only James Cordon having a hearth attack on TV could cheer me up. Come on you fat slag, have some cake and keel over. The wife said "what about some Mumford & Sons? Lovely songs them". She's away to get some plasters for the smacked mouth I just gave her. I could read this shite all day. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Simon Weston, man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Jody Craddock just told Davina to put a bag on her head to stop her hay-fever. Made me laugh. Why do people hate Davina? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 Guess which gangster striker is now on twitter Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEMTEX Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 Dave Kitson?!? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Liam Liam O Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 Guess which gangster striker is now on twitter Marlon King? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 http://web16.twitpic.com/img/121276187-c588e0f48d22eb14b4a8e28c75d7060c.4c265538-full.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Liam Liam O Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 http://web16.twitpic.com/img/121276187-c588e0f48d22eb14b4a8e28c75d7060c.4c265538-full.jpg Is that Maradona's kid? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 They share, i hear. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Enjoying Wimbledon, Sam?" asked the neighbour. "Oh aye," I sneered. "I also enjoy 'Glee', Diet Coke and waxing my fanny." Fucking idiot. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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