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Keepers: Hart, Reina, Krul, Vorm

 

Right Backs: Richards, Walker, Sagna, Ivanovic

Left Backs: Assou-Ekotto, Evra, Cole, Jose Enrique

Centre Backs: King, Vidic, Terry, Kompany, Vermaelen, Coloccini

 

Centre Midfielders: Toure, Essien, Wilshere, Modric, van der Vaart, Ramires

Right Wingers: Sturridge, Silva, Nani, Johnson

Left Wingers: Bale, Mata, Young, Bellamy (:dontknow:)

 

Attackers: Rooney, Suarez, van Persie, Ba, Aguero, Balotelli

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GK Krul, Vorm, Reina, Szczesny

 

RB Richards Sagna Walker Zabeletta

 

LB Enrique, Cole, Baines Clichy

 

CB Colo Vidic, Samba, Kompany, King, Vermaelen

 

RW Nani Johnson Lennon Sturridge

 

LW Mata Bale Silva Hoilett

 

CM Modric Toure Sandro Ramieres Tiote Dempsey

 

St Aguero Balotelli Ba RVP Rooney Hernandez

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Guest sicko2ndbest

........................ Hart....................

 

Walker......Vidic......Kompany.....Jose

 

            Modric............Gerrard

 

.......................Silva.......................

 

Aguero...................................Bale

 

.......................RvP..........................

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Gk= Krul, Hart, Vorm, Given

Rb= Richards, Walker, Smalling, Ivanovic

Lb= Enrique, Baines, A Cole, Evra

Cb= Colo, Vidic, Kompany, Hangeland, Dunne, King

Cm= Song, Yaya, Modric, Parker, Dempsey, Cabaye

Lm= Bale, Etherington, Mata, Young

Rm= Nani, Sturridge, Silva, VDV

Striker= Van Persie, Ba, Balotelli, Adebayor, Rooney, Suarez

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Probably missed some blatant ones out but...

 

GK Hart, Szcesney, Krul, Reina

 

Cech looks finished, too slow and too worried about his bonce

 

RB - Sagna, Rafael, Walker, Richards

 

Complete dirth of talent here bar Sagna and Richards

 

CB - Kompany, Vidic, Vermaelen, King, Coloccini, Agger

 

Of others Rio is finished and I prefer ball playing CBs

 

LB - Evra, Enrique, Cole, Baines

 

obvious

 

CM - Ramsey, Wilshere, Y. Toure, Modric, Lampard, Song

 

Could probably have changed a few here but is Gerrard finished, is Sandro good enough over a long stint of games? Parker isn't good enough on the ball.

 

RM - Nani, Valencia, Sturridge, Mata

 

Couldn't think of any others and tbf only Valencia is probably an actual RM

 

LM - Silva, Bale, Young, A.Johnson

 

Adam Johnson just shades the lesser place, probably someone better but couldn't think of one

 

CF - RvP, Rooney, Aguero, Ba, Tevez, Suarez

 

Pretty self explanatory, Drogba just misses out due to age

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The hatred for Lampard's incredible, like.

 

Wouldn't call it hatred like.

 

Aye, a couple of years ago Lampard would have been most peoples first pick.

 

You just have to accept he's on the way down now Ron, hence why he can't even get starting games for Chelsea.

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The hatred for Lampard's incredible, like.

 

Wouldn't call it hatred like.

 

Aye, a couple of years ago Lampard would have been most peoples first pick.

 

You just have to accept he's on the way down now Ron, hence why he can't even get starting games for Chelsea.

 

He's started 14 out of 18, like.

 

Not saying he's the best midfielder in the league, or he's as good as he was 2 years back, but not as good as Cheick Tiote? Ludicrous.

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Guest optimistic nit

Probably missed some blatant ones out but...

 

GK Hart, Szcesney, Krul, Reina

 

Cech looks finished, too slow and too worried about his bonce

 

RB - Sagna, Rafael, Walker, Richards

 

Complete dirth of talent here bar Sagna and Richards

 

CB - Kompany, Vidic, Vermaelen, King, Coloccini, Agger

 

Of others Rio is finished and I prefer ball playing CBs

 

LB - Evra, Enrique, Cole, Baines

 

obvious

 

CM - Ramsey, Wilshere, Y. Toure, Modric, Lampard, Song

 

Could probably have changed a few here but is Gerrard finished, is Sandro good enough over a long stint of games? Parker isn't good enough on the ball.

 

RM - Nani, Valencia, Sturridge, Mata

 

Couldn't think of any others and tbf only Valencia is probably an actual RM

 

LM - Silva, Bale, Young, A.Johnson

 

Adam Johnson just shades the lesser place, probably someone better but couldn't think of one

 

CF - RvP, Rooney, Aguero, Ba, Tevez, Suarez

 

Pretty self explanatory, Drogba just misses out due to age

 

Tevez and Suarez? Tevez isn't playing and Suarez has scored 5 goals this season. No Dzeko, Sturridge or Adebayor?

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Tevez was the leagues top scorer last season and is class despite him not playing & being a mahoosive bellpiece. Suarez is a superb player, regardless of how many goals he has/hasn't scored in the PL. Sturridge is there just in the RM role. Dzeko is good but a bit of a bully type player but unlike the former two can he carry a team on their own? Adebayor was my 7th choice.

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There's some stunning omissions thus far, Drogba and the Yak for example.

 

The Yak has had a handful of decent games and one great one. Drogba has been very much a shadow of his usual self. Don't think either are stunning omissions in the slightest. I was more stunned that someone picked Essien.

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I've done this exactly as per the rules, except instead of picking the best players in each position I've picked the players I (for a variety of reasons) find funniest. Humour is clearly a subjective thing so I've included reasoning for each of them.

 

The main thing I've learned from typing this list is that I didn't enjoy doing it and couldn't be bothered to finish. Also that nothing or no-one is anywhere near as funny as Emile Heskey.

 

 

Keepers: Howard (sweary bastard), Cech (funny little hat), Gomes (funny big nose, brilliantly shit), Hilario (us)

Right backs: Hibbert (white, defensive Shola), Angel Rangel (silly name), 

Centre backs: Luiz (silly hair), Coloccini (great hair), Mertesacker (hailed as fixing arsenal's defense, hilariously shit), Wes Brown (looks like a duracell), Bramble (massive winkey), S. Taylor (chest injuries)

Left backs: R. Taylor (gormless), Assou-Ekotto (doesn't like football), Elokobi (funny to look at), Robinson (brilliantly shit)

Centre mids: Delap (shit),

Right wing: Obertan (looks like that version of Homer that's constructed from a lightbulb and a fish),

Left wing: Sa. Ameobi, Giggs (big shagger), Bale (fully looks exactly like a monkey)

Attackers: Heskey ©, Sh. Ameobi, Yakubu (chubster)

 

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