Skirge Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 How fkn amazing would it be to get a "Joe Kinnear Victim Of Cruel Prank" headline this afternoon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Moody Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/joe-kinnears-return-newcastle-mean-1957290 Soz if already posted - I haven't seen it, though. “Which one of you is Simon Bird? You’re a c**t.” That was Joe Kinnear’s infamous opening line in diplomacy as he strode into his first press conference as Newcastle United boss five years ago. In a charm offensive, which was more offensive than charm, he set about his job by swearing 52 times in the first five minutes of a blistering rant. He set a tone of chaos, misinformation and turmoil that ended in a heart attack for Kinnear, and relegation for Newcastle in their most humiliating season in living memory. So who better for Mike Ashley to whisk in to calm the club after a troubled, fractious season on and of the pitch? At a time when a clear, methodical, detailed head is needed, who do you turn to? Someone who can sooth, discretely put out fires, be a rock at Alan Pardew’s side. Someone who won’t make any public play to take over his managerial duties. Joe “f******” Kinnear, of course. The only man for the job in Mike Ashley’s eyes. It is hard not to view Kinnear’s return as Director of Football, as a major power play by Ashley, against Pardew, who only just clung on to his job at end of the season after a terrible campaign in league and domestic cups. Already last night Kinnear, now a loyal Ashley spy inside the football operation, launched his first grenade that exploded at Pardew’s door. He was now “in charge of transfers.” He also claimed: “I know I’ve got more knowledge than most people at Newcastle about football.” Adding the usual rider: “That’s no disrespect to anybody there.” Except it is. Pardew will no doubt have been delighted to hear Kinnear offering him any advice he needs. Kinnear added: “I will sit down with Alan Pardew and talk about what we need to be successful. I will bend over backwards to make sure we’re successful.” A suspicious mind might conclude that Ashley would have been a tad embarrassed to sack Pardew in May, just seven months after giving him an eight year contract, so did the next best thing and parachuted close chum Kinnear in to shake things up a bit and make Pardew feel uncomfortable. Why is this such a big deal? Kinnear’s record while boss was unspectacular, setting the course for relegation before he was sidelined by ill health in February 2009 Is he the perfect deal maker? When boss, he claimed Michael Owen was signing a new contract (it didn’t happen). He said Nicky Butt was staying long term (it didn’t happen). He had top Argentinians playing in Italy on the verge of signing (it didn’t happen). Every other week was “D-day” for Ashley to sell the club (it never happened). How the Mirror reported Joe Kinnear's 2008 rant He regaled us with a brilliant anecdote of the time when he was manger of Nepal in 1987 (yes that bit is actually true) and had to flee the country because the Crown Prince (who apparently used to helicopter him over Everest) had shot his parents the King and Queen. Turned out that happened 14 years later, by which time he was boss of Luton. Let’s hope Kinnear has more of an eye for a detail when buying all Newcastle’s players and negotiating contracts this summer. As well as weeding out under performing players, another of his pledges last night. There was one sentence of solace for Pardew, which will be tested next season. Kinnear said: “There are no issues. My job is quite clear. I’m Director of Football, he’s manager. “I’m not picking the team, that’s what manager gets paid for. I’m there to ensure he gets best possible team on pitch. Tactics and coaching are strictly down to him. If he has questions, he’ll ask them and I’ll answer them.” Any questions to Joe, then Alan? Feel free to ask. Ever since Kinnear quit, Newcastle sources insisted that Ashley “still loves Joe.” He’s was “our kind of man.” Ashley loves a bit of creative tension at the top of his businesses. He loves a good ruck, a bit of swearing, a blow out in the open, and then no grudges held the next day. Kinnear will fit perfectly. Kinnear says he is “fit as a fiddle” these days. He clearly has football qualities, although it is 21 years since he took charge at Wimbledon his undoubted success story, and it remains to be seen how sharp they remain. Last night Kinnear was already bemoaning his “relationship with the media”, which was actually fairly straight forward and non-confrontational, after his initial blast and threats of multiple banning orders. We asked the questions, he answered, we checked the facts. He also moaned about not being accepted first time round because he wasn’t a Geordie. Throwing his weight around: Mike Ashley has shown Pardew who's boss He added: “What I can offer is that I believe I’m a very good judge of players, a very good tactician. I intend to take Newcastle far better than there are now. I’ve a bright head. I can see a good player, get the right players in to make us successful. “As far as attack-wise, the season before last we got lots of goals, last season we were struggling. Defensively we need to shore up. It was a lot to do with the Europa League. We didn’t have enough quality players to go with the league, FA Cup, league cup. We had drained players, picked up a lot of injuries. We need to address that badly.” So let's remind ourselves. Pardew remains manager of Newcastle United. Joe Kinnear is Director of Football. Watch Joe Kinnear's rant from 2008, where the then-Newcastle boss swore 52 times in just six minutes: Check out all the latest News, Sport & Celeb gossip at Mirror.co.uk http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/joe-kinnears-return-newcastle-mean-1957290#ixzz2WSvlFSFG Follow us: @DailyMirror on Twitter | DailyMirror on Facebook Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlelunchbox Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Llambias and Pardew got too close. Hence the JFK appointment. He will be Mike's informant. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cronky Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Still nothing from the club then. It also seems odd that all these discussions have been taking place and yet there's been not the slightest rumour about it until yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Icke - Son of God Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/joe-kinnears-return-newcastle-mean-1957290 Soz if already posted - I haven't seen it, though. He regaled us with a brilliant anecdote of the time when he was manger of Nepal in 1987 (yes that bit is actually true) and had to flee the country because the Crown Prince (who apparently used to helicopter him over Everest) had shot his parents the King and Queen. Turned out that happened 14 years later, by which time he was boss of Luton. Fuck me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
brummie Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I was thinking about this this morning whilst reading the paper. When we appointed McLeish, a common line of thought was that, had the club been taken over by a malevolent force for evil, intent on doing as much damage to the club and to relations with supporters as possible, it couldn't actually have done a better job of doing that than what the board actually did. That's precisely how this appointment looks. I doubt Ashley wants to screw up his own investment, but if he wanted to screw up the club as much as possible, what would he realistically have done that could have been more damaging than this? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanSkÃrare Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 “He (Llambias) is going to go on the finance side and anything to do with football is coming my side. “I am going to be delighted to be working with Alan. “I saw Alan as a player – he was a heck of a player – and we bumped into each other a couple of times when he was West Ham manager. “We always bump into each other at the Manager of the Year awards. “Last year I was at the awards when Alan won it. “I said ‘congratulations, but you have to get two more to catch me! He won it once, didn't he? This man needs to be medicated. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Venkman Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Just to play devil's advocate, I wonder if it might be a good thing to have another 'football person' at the club that Ashley trusts? Who's to say that we wouldn't have strengthened more last summer if he'd been here? Desperately looking for positives. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taps01 Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/joe-kinnears-return-newcastle-mean-1957290 Soz if already posted - I haven't seen it, though. He regaled us with a brilliant anecdote of the time when he was manger of Nepal in 1987 (yes that bit is actually true) and had to flee the country because the Crown Prince (who apparently used to helicopter him over Everest) had shot his parents the King and Queen. Turned out that happened 14 years later, by which time he was boss of Luton. f*** me Its his constant lies that gets me. If he told me it was raining outside i would open the curtain to check. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenBartonCentrePartin Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 First "buy a shit t-shirt for a tenner!!!!!!1111eleven!!!" tweet of the day just gone out from the club... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stifler Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I have a feeling that if someone punched him when he's walking down the street he will spin it to him being touched by an angel. This is the sort of guy who if he came home to find his wife shagging the bloke next door he would think that he himself is rather good at satisfying her. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Consortium of one Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 This is what I wake up to? Joe f******* Kinnear is our DOF? Shouldn't he be out digging boreholes somewhere in the football wilderness? How soon is it before he alienates every player with even a modicum of talent? How soon til we here Joe f****** Kinnear proclaim, "If I'm going to finish 16th I'd rather do it with English lads rather than French lads!"? What a complete and total nightmare. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnonel Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 News just in - on JFK recommendation - WE HAVE A NEW KIT SPONSOR ! http://www.alz.co.uk/ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan_Taylor Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 This constant embarrassment shit is enough now. Fuck this Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4eva Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 “He (Llambias) is going to go on the finance side and anything to do with football is coming my side. “I am going to be delighted to be working with Alan. “I saw Alan as a player – he was a heck of a player – and we bumped into each other a couple of times when he was West Ham manager. “We always bump into each other at the Manager of the Year awards. “Last year I was at the awards when Alan won it. “I said ‘congratulations, but you have to get two more to catch me! He won it once, didn't he? This man needs to be medicated. One step away from declaring unicorns exist, fucking lunatic Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiemag Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Must be entertaining as fuck for other clubs fans. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnonel Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 News just in - on JFK recommendation - WE HAVE A NEW KIT SPONSOR ! http://www.alz.co.uk/ On that note, how many times did he actually win Manager of the Year, and what club/year/league was it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan_Taylor Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 News just in - on JFK recommendation - WE HAVE A NEW KIT SPONSOR ! http://www.alz.co.uk/ On that note, how many times did he actually win Manager of the Year, and what club/year/league was it? Once. 1994. Wimbledon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnonel Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Thanks. Wonder why nobody is correcting him. Is he that deluded? Wonder why he thinks he has won it more..... strange... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Moody Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Probably won the biggest cunt of the year a couple of times when he was managing in India and he's getting all mixed up. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbelievable Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 “We always bump into each other at the Manager of the Year awards. “Last year I was at the awards when Alan won it. “I said ‘congratulations, but you have to get two more to catch me! f*** off you stupid make-believe loving f***ing c***. :rant: :rant: :rant: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexf Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 All this about if your not good enough you will be shipped out stuff. Apart from the first 11 that is basically the entire squad, and we already have a tiny squad so not sure what the plan is there. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BM83smZCAAAwgbE.jpg Seeing him talking on behalf of the club again Embarrassingly enough, that's what we should be hearing instead of Pardew falling over himself to tell everyone that we are vulnerable 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shays Given Tim Flowers Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I remember when Shay stayed.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeDubbleYoo Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Is that this morning's Journal? Very weird that there's no announcement from the club yet. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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