AlanSkÃrare Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Absolutely slaughtered in here. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/10130915/Caveman-Joe-Kinnear-still-stuck-in-footballs-stone-age.html Joe Kinnear reminded us this week of his undisputed standing as the most bellicose, bullying throwback in all of English football, foul towards those who cast the slightest aspersions and incapable of pronouncing a foreign player’s name if his life depended on it. I would call him a dinosaur, except I always thought the giant diplodocus at the National History Museum had such a kindly, agreeable face. The unlovable Kinnear embodies no such qualities. He is easily imagined as the type of oaf who, if he ever wandered into a boulangerie to be asked “Pain, monsieur?”, would shoot back, “Nah, bread!” His conduct is so utterly classless that his first public remark, during that ill-starred four-month spell managing on Tyneside, was to denigrate a reporter with the crudest word in the English language. Within that squat 5ft 6in frame lurks a veritable vault of mulleted malevolence. It seems extraordinary that a man so denuded of linguistic dexterity, lately bequeathing to our lexicon such jewels as “Yohan Kebab” and “Derek Lambezi” should once have found himself the manager of India and Nepal. Yes, I had to read that twice, too. Seldom has there been so great a leap of imagination as to imagine Kinnear of Kathmandu. And yet there he was, in the autumn of 1983, crossing the Annapurnas by private jet and taking training at the foot of Everest. One shudders to imagine, though, how his introduction to Crown Prince Dipendra might have unfolded. “No, Mr Kinnear, not Defender. Dipendra.” The late prince, you may not be aware, was counted by Kinnear as “one of my closest friends”. In 2001, Dipendra attained worldwide notoriety in one of the most dramatic royal scandals of modern times, when he shot and killed nine members of his family and himself, reputedly over his intention to marry a lower class of aristocrat. Or, as the ever-sensitive Kinnear so delicately put it: “He was the King’s son, he had to marry some other bird. The usual c---. So he killed them all and blew his brains out.” You would expect Kinnear, given his connections at the highest echelons of Himalayan nobility, to be a touch more culturally attuned. After all, in the two decades between his South Asian sojourn and the tragedy at the Nepalese royal palace, he and Dipendra regularly kept in contact, even attending matches together in London. But he persists, to judge from his mangled self-justification on radio, in playing the classic pub boor. At least striker Sammy Ameobi, like Yohan Cabaye another victim of the butchered surname, could be thankful he was not described as an amoeba. Quite what Alan Pardew makes of having a liability like Kinnear parachuted in over his head at St James’ Park is anybody’s guess. Understandably, the Newcastle United manager is keen to wrap his director of football’s mouth in Sellotape in the event of further media exposure. Kinnear, of course, insists Pardew was delighted at his appointment, embracing the return on Newcastle of a “real football man”. For in his universe such a label is the ultimate accolade, as if those managers who aspire to play the game more aesthetically than the hoof-ball once beloved of his Wimbledon side are mere plastic mannequins. Indeed, if Kinnear is a “real football man”, then we might as well rip up our Premier League fixture lists already. It pays to be reminded, despite his idle boasts of having Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsène Wenger on permanent speed-dial, that Wimbledon under his aegis were hardly the most attractive team ever to grace the English top flight. Built upon the lumpen braggadocio of Vinnie Jones, they concealed an undercurrent of malice behind that convenient 'Crazy Gang’ facade. Kinnear retains his apologists, not least those persuaded by his hail-fellow-well-met attitude in the early Nineties, when he would indulge a little ribaldry with the lads and display his Dublin roots with the odd Irish singalong. But at 66, he looks askance at the football landscape he now inhabits, conscious that it has changed beyond all recognition from his day. He is a relic of an era when sports nutrition consisted of a half-time orange and a can of Tizer. He could count among his contemporaries such figures as Leyton Orient manager John Sitton, who infamously offered two players outside with the words: “And you can bring your f------ dinner.” In 2013, however, Kinnear sees so few allies that his only defence is unpleasant narcissism, full of festering resentment. Age, more is the pity, has not mellowed him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Roger Kint Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Well one thing is for sure this is not going to blow over, the dust will not settle, fans are not going to get used to it things will not go all quiet as the deluded cunt won't allow it. He is going to bang on week after week, there will be some sort of JFK story to keep us all furious for the start of the season. Sadly most fans will let it settle the second we sign a player and actual football returns. Countless other acts of stupidity died off in weeks, no reason to think it wont now tbh. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/poll-reveals-fan-anger-over-4685903 Geordie Hill, 45, unemployed, from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Joe Kinnear should not have been brought back in and Ashley should sell the club . . . . I’m very disappointed at everything that’s happened over the past few days.” Cheryl Hill, 30, a full-time mum from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Ashley needs to go next. We need a Geordie to come in and take over, I think he needs to go, sell up and leave. Everything is a mess at the moment, it is ridiculous.” Lauren Hill, 16, a student from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Alan Shearer should still be here, that’s the time when I enjoyed it, when it was Geordie’s behind it. I think we will go down next season now because it has all been too messed up.” Its still an up hill battle though Wanting Shearer back in charge is a clear example of the miseducation of Lauren Hill. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Roger Kint Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilson Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Fuckin Hill Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I know that prince killed himself years after Joe Korea left Nepal, but I've just checked his age. Joe has also claimed he was one of his best friends, but the prince was 15 when he was Nepal manager, so it's highly unlikely he was in charge of the FA and that they actually knew each other at all. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast Boy Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/poll-reveals-fan-anger-over-4685903 Geordie Hill, 45, unemployed, from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Joe Kinnear should not have been brought back in and Ashley should sell the club . . . . I’m very disappointed at everything that’s happened over the past few days.” Cheryl Hill, 30, a full-time mum from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Ashley needs to go next. We need a Geordie to come in and take over, I think he needs to go, sell up and leave. Everything is a mess at the moment, it is ridiculous.” Lauren Hill, 16, a student from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Alan Shearer should still be here, that’s the time when I enjoyed it, when it was Geordie’s behind it. I think we will go down next season now because it has all been too messed up.” Assuming thats a family, that means when he was 28/29 he got the 13/14yr old mum pregnant? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest icemanblue Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Welcome to Newcastle's West End! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Slippery Sam Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/poll-reveals-fan-anger-over-4685903 Geordie Hill, 45, unemployed, from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Joe Kinnear should not have been brought back in and Ashley should sell the club . . . . I’m very disappointed at everything that’s happened over the past few days.” Cheryl Hill, 30, a full-time mum from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Ashley needs to go next. We need a Geordie to come in and take over, I think he needs to go, sell up and leave. Everything is a mess at the moment, it is ridiculous.” Lauren Hill, 16, a student from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Alan Shearer should still be here, that’s the time when I enjoyed it, when it was Geordie’s behind it. I think we will go down next season now because it has all been too messed up.” Assuming thats a family, that means when he was 28/29 he got the 13/14yr old mum pregnant? Brings 'The Hills Have Eyes' to reality. Bring back Benny, is what I say. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wormy Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Absolutely slaughtered in here. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/10130915/Caveman-Joe-Kinnear-still-stuck-in-footballs-stone-age.html The late prince, you may not be aware, was counted by Kinnear as “one of my closest friends”. In 2001, Dipendra attained worldwide notoriety in one of the most dramatic royal scandals of modern times, when he shot and killed nine members of his family and himself, reputedly over his intention to marry a lower class of aristocrat. Or, as the ever-sensitive Kinnear so delicately put it: “He was the King’s son, he had to marry some other bird. The usual c---. So he killed them all and blew his brains out.” That's a joke quote, right? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast Mags Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Apparently not Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 What a horrible man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
womblemaster Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 you are trying to get facts from an article as biased as that? get a bloody grip. journalist is lovin stickin the knife in, and probably hates nufc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest icemanblue Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Quotes, wombler. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLvOR Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I still can't get over this. The return of JFK has always been something me and my friends joked about, now it's reality. Oh my God Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/poll-reveals-fan-anger-over-4685903 Geordie Hill, 45, unemployed, from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Joe Kinnear should not have been brought back in and Ashley should sell the club . . . . I’m very disappointed at everything that’s happened over the past few days.” Cheryl Hill, 30, a full-time mum from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Ashley needs to go next. We need a Geordie to come in and take over, I think he needs to go, sell up and leave. Everything is a mess at the moment, it is ridiculous.” Lauren Hill, 16, a student from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Alan Shearer should still be here, that’s the time when I enjoyed it, when it was Geordie’s behind it. I think we will go down next season now because it has all been too messed up.” Its still an up hill battle though Wanting Shearer back in charge is a clear example of the miseducation of Lauren Hill. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast Mags Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Has this all actually happened though? Like in real life? or I am I trapped in some crazy drug induced NUFC nightmare from which I can never wake up? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
triggs Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/poll-reveals-fan-anger-over-4685903 Geordie Hill, 45, unemployed, from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Joe Kinnear should not have been brought back in and Ashley should sell the club . . . . I’m very disappointed at everything that’s happened over the past few days.” Cheryl Hill, 30, a full-time mum from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Ashley needs to go next. We need a Geordie to come in and take over, I think he needs to go, sell up and leave. Everything is a mess at the moment, it is ridiculous.” Lauren Hill, 16, a student from Newcastle’s West End, said: “Alan Shearer should still be here, that’s the time when I enjoyed it, when it was Geordie’s behind it. I think we will go down next season now because it has all been too messed up.” Its still an up hill battle though Is his name actually Geordie? I also noticed that assuming they are a family that dirty bastard would have nearly thirty when he had the child with a 14 year old. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast Mags Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 It'll be three generations I'd imagine Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenBartonCentrePartin Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Hey lads, let's put all this to one side, eh? At the end of the day we can all get ourselves a proper lush suitcase from the clerb. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Would make an awesome Russian Doll set. Sold. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taps01 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 just had this text off a mate who is out in ibiza...40 year old leeds fan so no reason to lie....s*** you not I have just had breakfast and Alan pardew was on the next table! Direct quote "it calms down and the dust settles for about 4 seconds and then there's another s*** storm" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest icemanblue Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Should never eat Spanish bacon. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 40 year old Leeds fans do tend to be trustworthy souls. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DebuchyAndTheBeast Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I'm absolutely gutted that we had to give the muppet that is Kinnear a DoF position but I think it will take some doing to match the shitness of Wise and Comolli at Liverpool. I just hope that he won't be directly involved with the scouting and he has as many contacts as he claims http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01386/obama-straw_1386774c.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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