The Managerial Merry Go Round™ - Van Nistelrooy to Leicester | Lampard to Coventry

[SUPERTOON]

 

[Kid Icarus]

What are they doing man.

[BGRM]

4 minutes ago, SUPERTOON said:

 

Won't he take it over the bald, middle-aged quota for the season? (although one's probably offski soon)

[toon25]

They're beyond parody now. Throwing enough shit at the fan and hoping it sticks. This week: let's copy the Arse model and see if a mini-Pep will solve the problem.

[Fezzle]

6 minutes ago, Kid Icarus said:

What are they doing man.

I hope Ipswich or Leicester quote them astronomical compo figures. Still can't get the idea that poch hasn't earned a second year mind, has anyone been 'sacked' after 5 wins? Hopefully they choose terribly and waste the position they got themselves in

[Ben]

The Chelsea situation is great like

[Checko]

I asked Chat GPT who Chelsea should hire and they recommend Nagelmann. Hopefully their board aren't as thorough.

 

Spoiler

Q. Chat GPT, I am a mega-rich American businessman who owns Chelsea football club and needs to appoint a new manager but I know fuck all about European football. Who should I hire as the new manager to secure maximum return on investment for my shareholders?

 

ChatGPT

 

As a mega-rich American businessman looking to maximize return on investment (ROI) for Chelsea FC shareholders, appointing the right manager is critical. You need someone who can deliver on-field success, enhance the club’s brand, and manage player assets effectively. Given your situation, I'll provide a straightforward recommendation with key factors to consider.

 

Recommended Manager: Julian Nagelsmann

 

Why Julian Nagelsmann?

 

Youth Development and Player Value

 

rack record of developing young talent. This approach increases the market value of players, providing potential for high transfer profits.

 

Sustainability: Developing players internally reduces the need for expensive signings and builds a sustainable model.

Modern and Attractive Football

 

Style of Play: Nagelsmann's teams are known for playing attractive, attacking football. This not only brings in fans but also aligns with Chelsea's ambition to be an entertaining team.

 

Brand Appeal: Attractive football enhances the club's global brand, leading to increased merchandise sales, sponsorship deals, and fan engagement.

 

Commercial Potential

 

Marketability: As one of the brightest young managers in football, Nagelsmann himself is a marketable figure. His innovative approach and media-friendly personality can help boost the club’s profile.

Sponsorships and Media Rights: Successful and entertaining teams attract lucrative sponsorships and higher media rights deals, directly impacting ROI.

 

Proven Success

Competitive Edge: He has demonstrated success in the Bundesliga and Champions League, managing top-tier clubs like RB Leipzig and Bayern Munich.

 

Adaptability: His ability to adapt tactics and manage big personalities is crucial for a club of Chelsea's stature.

Implementation Strategy

 

Support Structure

 

Director of Football: Appoint an experienced Director of Football to handle transfers and player contracts, allowing Nagelsmann to focus on coaching.

 

Scouting and Analytics: Invest in a robust scouting and analytics department to identify emerging talents and undervalued players.

 

Long-term Vision

 

Youth Academy Integration: Ensure that the club’s youth academy is aligned with the first team’s philosophy, promoting a seamless transition for young players.

 

Player Investment: Focus on acquiring young, high-potential players who can be developed and sold for profit, balancing this with experienced signings to maintain competitiveness.

Brand Enhancement

 

Global Marketing Campaigns: Leverage Nagelsmann’s appointment in marketing campaigns to boost the club’s global presence.

 

Fan Engagement: Enhance fan engagement through social media, interactive content, and community events featuring Nagelsmann and the team.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Hiring Julian Nagelsmann combines the promise of immediate competitive success with the potential for long-term financial gain through player development and brand growth. His modern approach to football and proven ability to handle top-level competition make him the ideal candidate to maximize ROI for Chelsea FC shareholders.

 

[Ben]

Just now, Checko said:

I asked Chat GPT who Chelsea should hire and they recommend Nagelmann. Hopefully their board aren't as thorough.

 

  Hide contents

Q. Chat GPT, I am a mega-rich American businessman who owns Chelsea football club and needs to appoint a new manager but I know fuck all about European football. Who should I hire as the new manager to secure maximum return on investment for my shareholders?

 

ChatGPT

 

As a mega-rich American businessman looking to maximize return on investment (ROI) for Chelsea FC shareholders, appointing the right manager is critical. You need someone who can deliver on-field success, enhance the club’s brand, and manage player assets effectively. Given your situation, I'll provide a straightforward recommendation with key factors to consider.

 

Recommended Manager: Julian Nagelsmann

 

Why Julian Nagelsmann?

 

Youth Development and Player Value

 

rack record of developing young talent. This approach increases the market value of players, providing potential for high transfer profits.

 

Sustainability: Developing players internally reduces the need for expensive signings and builds a sustainable model.

Modern and Attractive Football

 

Style of Play: Nagelsmann's teams are known for playing attractive, attacking football. This not only brings in fans but also aligns with Chelsea's ambition to be an entertaining team.

 

Brand Appeal: Attractive football enhances the club's global brand, leading to increased merchandise sales, sponsorship deals, and fan engagement.

 

Commercial Potential

 

Marketability: As one of the brightest young managers in football, Nagelsmann himself is a marketable figure. His innovative approach and media-friendly personality can help boost the club’s profile.

Sponsorships and Media Rights: Successful and entertaining teams attract lucrative sponsorships and higher media rights deals, directly impacting ROI.

 

Proven Success

Competitive Edge: He has demonstrated success in the Bundesliga and Champions League, managing top-tier clubs like RB Leipzig and Bayern Munich.

 

Adaptability: His ability to adapt tactics and manage big personalities is crucial for a club of Chelsea's stature.

Implementation Strategy

 

Support Structure

 

Director of Football: Appoint an experienced Director of Football to handle transfers and player contracts, allowing Nagelsmann to focus on coaching.

 

Scouting and Analytics: Invest in a robust scouting and analytics department to identify emerging talents and undervalued players.

 

Long-term Vision

 

Youth Academy Integration: Ensure that the club’s youth academy is aligned with the first team’s philosophy, promoting a seamless transition for young players.

 

Player Investment: Focus on acquiring young, high-potential players who can be developed and sold for profit, balancing this with experienced signings to maintain competitiveness.

Brand Enhancement

 

Global Marketing Campaigns: Leverage Nagelsmann’s appointment in marketing campaigns to boost the club’s global presence.

 

Fan Engagement: Enhance fan engagement through social media, interactive content, and community events featuring Nagelsmann and the team.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Hiring Julian Nagelsmann combines the promise of immediate competitive success with the potential for long-term financial gain through player development and brand growth. His modern approach to football and proven ability to handle top-level competition make him the ideal candidate to maximize ROI for Chelsea FC shareholders.

 

 

Haha that's absolutely great

[Joelinton7]

Fab’s gone and done an “eyes” on Kompany to Bayern. Madness.
 

https://x.com/fabrizioromano/status/1793363882297143335?s=46&t=DcLbGwd6hoDY9gGMy-ZgEw

[nemtizz]

Actually feel sorry for Kane.

[Fezzle]

4 minutes ago, nemtizz said:

Actually feel sorry for Kane.

I must be missing something with kompany. Decent bloke but seen nowt in his abilities to win much

[Donut]

What timeline is this? He refused to change his tactics when they clearly didn't work and he never managed to iron out all the defensive errors they made throughout the season. They conceded some absolute comical goals.

[Jaqen]

Kompany getting the Bayern gig on the back of a relegation and one of the most pathetic premier league performances from a side is some going. 

[Joe1984]

1 minute ago, Jaqen said:

Kompany getting the Bayern gig on the back of a relegation and one of the most pathetic premier league performances from a side is some going. 

Yeah but he played under Pep so obviously can manage like Pep.

 

As long as he's in the right environment (money/players)

 

Obvious really!?

[Menace]

Comfortably one of the worst teams we've played this season too. Surprised Edwards isn't being linked with a better gig

[Dr.Spaceman]

Every man and their dog constantly tells us that football is a results business though.

[54]

Apparently Bayern are going to pay £20m of compensation for Kompany.

[KaKa]

I saw a tweet explaining this whole Chelsea thing.

 

Apparently the manager has to agree to the guys upstairs not just being the ones who determine what players are brought in, but they will also have some say in the onfield tactical approach!

 

This is the reason why all the more experienced managers aren't being considered or aren't interested. It will be a young and relatively inexperienced head coach type, being directed from those above.

[Fezzle]

2 minutes ago, KaKa said:

I saw a tweet explaining this whole Chelsea thing.

 

Apparently the manager has to agree to the guys upstairs not just being the ones who determine what players are brought in, but they will also have some say in the onfield tactical approach!

 

This is the reason why all the more experienced managers aren't being considered or aren't interested. It will be a young and relatively inexperienced head coach type, being directed from those above.

Good, more chance it's a shitshow

[toon25]

Imagine being told what to do on the pitch by a bloke that thought his team had 12 players on the pitch and played in the champions League every year 

 

Being a cuckold to fucking clueless peddlers of commercialised American sports is so fucking grim. 

[Ben]

12 minutes ago, KaKa said:

I saw a tweet explaining this whole Chelsea thing.

 

Apparently the manager has to agree to the guys upstairs not just being the ones who determine what players are brought in, but they will also have some say in the onfield tactical approach!

 

This is the reason why all the more experienced managers aren't being considered or aren't interested. It will be a young and relatively inexperienced head coach type, being directed from those above.

 

Who the fuck would accept that ? 

[toon25]

26 minutes ago, 54 said:

Apparently Bayern are going to pay £20m of compensation for Kompany.

 

Crikey...

 

By virtue of the complete lack of competition, he'll be able to get by, but christ he's so fucking overrated. Hardly pulled up trees at Anderlecht in an equally uncompetitive league.

[PauloGeordio]

4 minutes ago, Ben said:

 

Who the fuck would accept that ? 

[toontownman]

Wtf is going on with bayern and Chelsea lmao. 

 

On the upside Craig Bellamy is going to be assistant coach at Bayern!

[Ben]

Just now, toontownman said:

Wtf is going on with bayern and Chelsea lmao. 

 

On the upside Craig Bellamy is going to be assistant coach at Bayern!

 

Fuckin hell