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The other games today - 2013/14


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Brucey is just another Pardew.

 

Bruce is twice the manager, literally.

 

A glorified Pardew then.  Twice the manager of Pardew isn't a lot.

 

I meant Twice the size

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the votes have all been counted and arsenal united have been declared the winners of the fa cup league final after beating the mighty hull rovers in a battle to the death and it is all thanks to arsene wenger and his delicious milk. when it was nearly half time loads of people in the crowd was shouting for arsene wenger to do something to give the players some more energy because they was all looking dead weak and he was screaming do you want me to feed them and the crowd was all shouting yeah go on feed them for us and then arsene wenger said right you got it and then he started running up and down the side of the pitch waving a massive denim flag that he made out of a pair of his wifes trousers because that is how he tells his players he is going to breastfeed them and when the whistle striked for half time he made all of the players gather around him in the dressing room and he took of his top and he lay down on the floor and he said right who needs some energy and all of the players was saying i do i do i want to have some of your milk papa and he picked them up one by one and held them in his arms and he gently fed them and he made his milk taste like trophies as well so the players would want to win something for once and then after they had all been fed he said for them to go back on to the pitch and win the damn cup but aaron ramsey kept on saying that he wanted to have some more milk and he kept on saying taste and he was pulling on arsene wengers trousers and he was saying me have more taste papa but there just wasnt enough time for another taste because the referee was about to have a blow on his throat flute to start the second half so arsene wenger squeezed one last drop of his pale syrup out of his nipple and he wiped it on to aaron ramseys top lip and he said you can have some more of that if you win the cup for me and then he did a massive laugh that sounded like someone was slapping a big bit of leather off the side of a dog and then as quickly as ice aaron ramsey scored the winning goal because he had such a thirst for some more milk and as he celebrated everyone in the crowd was chanting milk milk milk and it was such a beautiful moment in footballing history and even though arsenal are not my football team that i support i still think that arsene wenger deserved to win the cup because he is a kind man with trophy coloured hair and he doesnt care what people think about him when they say he is really disgusting and i think that sometimes if you want to be the best at what you do and you want to win the trophies that you desire then all you have got to do is take your top off and lie down on the floor and breastfeed loads of men because that is what the true spirit of football is all about. Chris (Simpsons artist) xox

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