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Various: Mike Ashley in talks with Sheikh Khaled bin Zayed Al Nehayan


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Imagine being a journalist and the Sun beat you to a major football story. Time to retire.

Probably easier to get a story for one of the scummy papers tbf, especially when it involves Mike Ashley

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Chronicle reporters must be gutted. They were hoping to bash out a couple of pre-written updates on Rafa, maybe a couple of pre-written articles on the Sunderland match, then have the bank holiday off.

Now they have to be up at crack of dawn, checking Twitter and trying their best to find a contact somewhere in order to get some news out.

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Guest alijmitchell

Off to get some sleep before the wee man wakes up. Hope I'm shown up to be a completely wrong negative naysayer in the morning. Best of luck all of you in getting some kip.

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I would say the sun can fuck off if this is untrue, but the sun is already at a distance that it couldn't possibly fuck off any further. It's not a pleasant situation.

 

But then what is, in the life of a Newcastle fan? Am I excited? No. Was I excited when I first read the words "Ashley agrees sale..."? Fuck yeah. I was whisked away on a magic carpet, with gilded tassels, to a world of peace loving, broon ale drinking, philanthropic arabs, adorned in black and white striped nightshirts, bought from the quayside. We celebrated peace in the Middle east, after introducing "outside noo" to the Arabic lexicon. We won the world cup in Qatar... then came the fog.

 

I awoke to find  my magic carpet was a 1986 copy of the sun, used as underlay by the previous tenant, and my jiz was dribbling out onto a crumpled page 3. Whether the target was Maria Whittaker, or David Mellor, is too horrific to contemplate.

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Am shocked that they broke the story. None of the NE journos had a clue.

 

Wonder if Mike was celebrating and bragging about it in some bar in London which is how word got out. A few drinks on him and I bet he couldn’t help himself.

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