Football pet hates

[Lush Vlad]

On 11/05/2025 at 18:29, Kilcline said:

When a random player scores an unbelievable goal and the comms/pundits/anyone gives it the "if Messi or Ronaldo scored that we'd be talking about it for weeks".

 

Aye, because great players do that every other week, not once or twice during their careers 

 

This is spot on.  Someone even said similar to me on Sunday referencing the Dan Burn header.  

[Moose]

Players walking off the bus with their eyes down and headphones on.

 

Lads, make eye contact with the fans and smile/wave. It takes a nanosecond out of your day to make somebody else's.

[Fak]

"Bomb squad" 

[Kilcline]

7 minutes ago, Fak said:

"Bomb squad" 

Nearly died of cringe last night when whoever was interviewing Tuchel mentioned "the bomb squad was effective again" or something like that 

[500bhp]

International football which isn't the world Cup, euros or the other continental tournaments. I'd ban all friendlies and tournament qualifiers. Use the very best AI algorithm to work out the teams to enter the tournaments based on strength of domestic leagues, where the top players are from, etc. There must be enough data out there to do that 😀.

 

So if PSG win the CL with half their squad French, then they are good enough to enter the WC. Same with England who have 6 teams in CL and we (Newcastle) regularly use 8+(?) English players in games.

 

This will allow Eddie more time to train our squad and work out a formation that gets the best out of Big Nick and his rather unique set of skills. 

[Harry 209]

"THESE STREETS ARE OUR OWN"

[Heron]

Absolutely sick of seeing players roll around like. Just know our lot will be doing it versus the SMBs too. Would far rather we were showing how tough we were and kicking them aal owa.

[Kilcline]

The habitual "WHO?" at some places when the away team's substitutions happen.

 

Already neck and neck with "You're shit, aaaaaaah" and other similar variants. 

 

Proper lower league patter.

 

Fuck off 

[bobbydazzla]

Would seem that the latest abomination to be inflicted on the once beautiful game is that not only does a goal scorer have to do a knee slide celebration, but at least two of his team mates must now also do celebratory knee slides 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2025 by bobbydazzla

[Heron]

On Sky the presenter just said "If Arsenal beat Chelsea next week there may be a feeling that this is close to over".

 

 

Ridiculous.

[Kid Icarus]

4 minutes ago, Heron said:

On Sky the presenter just said "If Arsenal beat Chelsea next week there may be a feeling that this is close to over".

 

 

Ridiculous.

Arsenal could be 4 points clear going into the last weekend and I still wouldn't believe they'd do it.

[TheBrownBottle]

On 18/11/2025 at 04:57, 500bhp said:

International football which isn't the world Cup, euros or the other continental tournaments. I'd ban all friendlies and tournament qualifiers. Use the very best AI algorithm to work out the teams to enter the tournaments based on strength of domestic leagues, where the top players are from, etc. There must be enough data out there to do that 😀.

 

So if PSG win the CL with half their squad French, then they are good enough to enter the WC. Same with England who have 6 teams in CL and we (Newcastle) regularly use 8+(?) English players in games.

 

This will allow Eddie more time to train our squad and work out a formation that gets the best out of Big Nick and his rather unique set of skills. 

I’d rather just invite every country to a WC and have a few more games there.  Just seed it like the FA Cup so that some countries join in prelim rounds, some in early rounds, some in final rounds.  So if Andorra win it they’ve played say 13 games, if Serbia win it they’ve played sat 10 games, if Brazil win it they’ve played 7 or 8 games.  Once every four years the domestic season would need to finish a couple of weeks earlier, but you’d have zero mid season international match disruption. 

[McCormick]

One thing that always gets under my skin is commentators going, ‘If anything, he’s hit that too well!’ after someone completely fluffs an easy shot. Like… what?

In darts, if you miss the board entirely, nobody’s going, ‘Oof, he threw that too well.’ It’s such a stupid thing to say.

[Nucasol]

12 hours ago, bobbydazzla said:

Would seem that the latest abomination to be inflicted on the once beautiful game is that not only does a goal scorer have to do a knee slide celebration, but at least two of his team mates must now also do celebratory knee slides 

 

 

 

I saw that with Eze and a couple of copycats behind him. Was like a failed Red Arrows formation of knee sliders.

[Earp]

Players clapping a shite ball from a team mate that goes out of play

[Jonas]

5 hours ago, McCormick said:

One thing that always gets under my skin is commentators going, ‘If anything, he’s hit that too well!’ after someone completely fluffs an easy shot. Like… what?

In darts, if you miss the board entirely, nobody’s going, ‘Oof, he threw that too well.’ It’s such a stupid thing to say.

Seen one of those the other week (think a Sheffield Wed game) with the shot going straight at the keeper.

What!? he's hit it so well he hasn't directed the shot in the slightest away from the person he's supposed to be beating with it.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

2 hours ago, Earp said:

Players clapping a shite ball from a team mate that goes out of play

 

Aye, teammates should bollock each other when they make a mistake

[Lush Vlad]

This forum after a defeat. Bipolar as fuck. 
 

Players that were brilliant last game. Should now be fired into the sun or face death by firing squad. Seems like we have a squad of useless shit cunts that need to be dropped or sold. The result determines whether or not they were a 3/10 or a 9. The performance is irrelevant.  
 

 

[Lotus]

People follow sport for emotional venting. It’s not meant to be an activity to encourage rational and critical thinking 

[KennyUtd]

Nothing new in this like. Always been complete shite when we lose and world beaters after a win. Been like that forever. I think just about every other fanbase is the same.

[Lush Vlad]

49 minutes ago, KennyUtd said:

Nothing new in this like. Always been complete shite when we lose and world beaters after a win. Been like that forever. I think just about every other fanbase is the same.

It isn’t like this when talking to mates and other fans in ‘real life’, though. Seems more on an online thing. 
 

I get it in the heat of the moment. But it carries on for hours, days, weeks. It’s pathetic. 

[GEFAFWISP]

46 minutes ago, Lush Vlad said:

It isn’t like this when talking to mates and other fans in ‘real life’, though. Seems more on an online thing. 
 

I get it in the heat of the moment. But it carries on for hours, days, weeks. It’s pathetic. 

Thing that gets me is the usual suspects who barely post after a win or good times absolutely feasting on telling you they always knew our players were shite along, any prior good games or form be damned.

 

Barely look at the forum after a loss now, mark as read the morning after..., given the rampant hindsight doomsayers.

 

You're not wrong about the terminally online lot being bipolar in comparison to real life either. Shambles even here, which is moderate as fuck compared to all that Twitter/Reddit garbage.

[Haz]

Again with those fucking Drums!

 

Anyone who approaches the ground, with snare or big Bass drum, should have the fuckers confiscated. They shouldn’t be difficult to identify.

[KennyUtd]

4 hours ago, Lush Vlad said:

It isn’t like this when talking to mates and other fans in ‘real life’, though. Seems more on an online thing. 
 

I get it in the heat of the moment. But it carries on for hours, days, weeks. It’s pathetic. 

It must be just my generation then because all my mates are messaging how great we are until we concede or start to play poorly. It quickly turns into doom and gloom. I've had some class relegation messages man. Mental.

[Lush Vlad]

5 hours ago, KennyUtd said:

It must be just my generation then because all my mates are messaging how great we are until we concede or start to play poorly. It quickly turns into doom and gloom. I've had some class relegation messages man. Mental.

That’s not what I’m saying. Plenty say daft shit in the heat of the moment and when emotions are running high. This place/social media/online. It carries on for days on end. 
 

People don’t seem to factor in the fine margins involved with elite sport. Millimetres and split seconds can be the difference between winning and losing. Or in this case, world class or worse than shite  

 

 

Edited November 26, 2025 by Lush Vlad