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Football pet hates


Guest JonnyRogers

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3 hours ago, Optimistic Nut said:

Referees stopping the corner being taken when there's tussling in the box. Let them take the kick and give a free-kick/penalty if they're still doing it. 

My biggest pet hate this. Couldn't agree more.

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20 minutes ago, Fak said:

 

I like it

I've been playing golf all day today Fak so I haven't had a drop of alcohol. Nice try though. Just poured my first glass of wine actually. Try later on.

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3 minutes ago, Rod said:

I've been playing golf all day today Fak so I haven't had a drop of alcohol. Nice try though. Just poured my first glass of wine actually. Try later on.

 

Bit windy for a round of golf! Enjoy your evening Rod lad gan canny & stay healthy 

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"If it hasn't been for (keeper X), it could have been more."

 

Seen it quite a lot the last 10 days alone for Pope v Arsenal, Sels v us, Mackem keeper v Man Utd.

 

So many are saves a Premier League keeper should be making. It has to be Allisson v Almiron level for me that sets that phrase apart. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

“Duels”

 

Get to fuck with that buzzword shite man. 

 

A duel is two posh blokes walking 20 yards apart then turning and blasting at each other with shooters. 

 

Let’s touch base for a coffee chat and blue sky verbalise how we thought the duels went in the game last night. 

 

Fucksake.  

 

 

 

Edited by bobbydazzla

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51 minutes ago, bobbydazzla said:

“Duels”

 

Get to fuck with that buzzword shite man. 

 

A duel is two posh blokes walking 20 yards apart then turning and blasting at each other with shooters. 

 

Let’s touch base for a coffee chat and blue sky verbalise how we thought the duels went in the game last night. 

 

Fucksake.  

 

 

 

 

Correct, absolute shite. Duels man, fuck off with this horseshit

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Not sure if this has been covered already but there is a special medieval torture chamber in the 9th circle of hell any human above the age of 16 partaking in this 007 patter (0 goals, 0 assists, 7 appearances).

 

You can already picture the kind of people guilty of this crime: A profile picture wearing a Liverpool shirt having previously spent time as a Chelsea and Man Utd fan. Although his favourite English team changes with the wind he confidently states that his favourite French team is PSG and German team is Bayern. He also likes Real Madrid but also has a soft spot for Barcelona. He used to like Juventus too while they dominated, he's since given up on Italian football as it's too close to call, he's a big Celtic fan though! He comments on every social media post about Lionel Messi, calling him a fraud and FIFAs golden boy and claims Ronaldo as the GOAT (or vice versa, take your pick) and owns a Inter Miami/Al Nassr shirt. He can't name a single player for a non cartel PL club and is only aware that certain teams exist if Man Utd have lost to them and their name was subsequently mentioned on a meme on one of those optical aids inducing pages like Troll Football. As a result, he still isn't aware that Leicester have been relegated. After Liverpool (or who ever he supports that week) win a game, he'll go onto the opponents official Facebook page and post some absolute bilge like 'SALAH IS UR OWNER' 'LIVERPOOL IS GOAT, YOUR TEAM BAD'. I won't go as far as besmirching any sovreign nation by attributing these tapeworms to them, but let's just say they don't tend to come from their teams city, nor catchment area, or continent for that matter (nothing wrong with overseas fans for the record).

 

So yeah. Less of that stuff please.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Football is just getting wanker and wanker with every hour of every day of every month.

 

So much about it is just fucking contrived fake vapid soulless shite designed to entertain the simpletons waving their phones about seeking theatrical pantomime entertainment, give the stat nerds something to toss over because they can't get sexual partners and providing companies with a a lurid technicolour canvas on which to promote their products and services 

 

 

Edited by bobbydazzla

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23 minutes ago, Fak said:

Cole Palmer really needs to get in quick to trademark his "I'm an utter twat" reputation.

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There's no way Cole Palmer knows what a trademark even is tbf. An agent or financial person will have told him it's a good idea and he'll have strained every ounce of the limited grey matter he has to smile and nod.

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Also the phrase: "He knows the club".

 

Was watching Inter vs. Lazio last night and Spackman as co-commentator cited one of the reasons Chivu is a good appointment at Inter was because he knows the club. Granted, in this instance Chivu is turning out to be a canny appointment, but what exactly does it mean to, "know the club" and how does that improve his managerial ability if at all? (Which it doesn't)

 

 

Edited by Fak

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3 hours ago, Pilko said:

There's no way Cole Palmer knows what a trademark even is tbf. An agent or financial person will have told him it's a good idea and he'll have strained every ounce of the limited grey matter he has to smile and nod.

 

I'd be surprised if he could wipe his own arsehole tbh.

 

One of the thickest cunts going.

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37 minutes ago, The Fountain said:

A line breaking pass was one of the stats which was mentioned in the match yesterday.


Only a matter of time until theres a stat with a fancy technical name that single male Lawrence Logic virgin nerds can use with great aplomb to demonstrate how many pointless stats were quoted during a match. Let’s provisionally call it xTwonk. 

 

We can’t possibly have lost that game because we created so many pointless stats over the 90 mins that we massively overperformed our xTwonk and that’s a far more insightful and important metric than goals scored, goals conceded and points accumulated.

 

 

Edited by bobbydazzla

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12 hours ago, The Fountain said:

A line breaking pass was one of the stats which was mentioned in the match yesterday.

I don't mind that one, albeit none of us need Sky to tell us that teams are playing through us with relative ease while we currently struggle to pass it 10 yards sideways 

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