Skeletor

There's a video of him that has no music. First time I've ever seen a footballer compilation with an enjoyable song.

Who is ITKMysteryAgent? Someone who wants your twitter follow so he can later spam websites for you to click on and earn him ad revenue. Cha-ching.

Cabella does it too. It's a Frenchy thing.

I just keep waiting for the moment when he's revealed to be another one of Sascha Baron Cohen's characters and this is all part of a movie.

Plus 'Jack was man of the match for me. Him and Stevie'.

Good thing we have all those other strikers to fall back on if he turns out to be pony.

Anita at right back

If we got Aubameyang I'd feel far too optimistic. Can't be letting Pardew crush my spirit once again.

'Daryl Janmaat pictured with NUFC shirt at Little Benton in 1975'

The face of someone who's just spent a few hours in the company of the King.

So creepy

At least with all our forrins we're probably safe from association with the BNP...for now.

This is what happens when a billionaire charva owns your club.

More or less the same age as Amalfitano when he signed and he was thrown straight into the talent black hole.

Classic

Ugh

Our defence would only be a decent left back away from being fairly solid. As it stands it looks like Janmaat will be our only quality defender.

What a Pardouche

Ugh Now they're going to haggle over 100k for a striker.

MYM must want a suffer buddy.

'Don't touch me with your fancy forrin skillz and tricks.'

'I've made a big mistake'

Worst unveiling photo ever.

Can't stand how small time every thing to do with this club has become.

Wasn't our original bid 6m euros (£4.7m?)