David Icke - Son of God

I thought Dummett was one of our better players last year. He's never going to be the greatest attacking outlet in the world but defensively he barely put a foot wrong for the most part. If he can carry that form and confidence into next season then he'll be ok. Definitely need some competition for him though, as it appears Lazaar isn't going to make the grade.

I think he gets a bit of a bum wrap given his relative youth just because he came with what was for us a relatively large fee, but if we can get our money back I'd sell him. He's never going to fit into Rafa's system.

He's looked bad in good sides. He can play on either side, so I assume we've bought him to not only fill Anita's boots but provide backup to Dummett too.

I, for one, am shocked that a local newspaper website is absolutely horseshite.

Wing mirrors aots after a bad result.

It's really disappointing he's such a miserly twat, because apart from that he'd be our perfect owner.

Ah, Gay Johnny. Good lad him.

Has a wiff of the "we're going to be down here for a while" about it, but stable enough.

His favourite film is Grease.

I remember the club just forgetting to announce Colo's arrival. Linked in the press, Ashley turns up in a shirt with his name on the back then silence for about three weeks.

Asian students nigh on always just choose a Western first name for living in England Must be a big fan of Con Air.

Fuck off is Cyrus Wong a real name.

They've got a 10 page thread on Atsu signing. Ours has only grown by a page

That Murphy thread man They've made up and hung onto this "mags signed him for £5m lol" stuff all season. They've literally been reduced to inflating our transfer dealings for fringe players to make themselves feel better about their own situation. It's probably the single most pointless exercise in Orwellian memory-holing anyone on any football forum has ever undertaken. And considering the shite posted here, there and elsewhere that's some stretch. Mental cunts.

I had a thing for our garish 90s keeper tops. Owned both of those, and this... Which I genuinely think may be the best keeper top ever.

Best bit about the celebrations at the end is one of our players (Gayle perhaps?) getting so excited when the Villa result comes through that he jumps on the back of Lascelles, who is recovering from a double hernia op

He won the Championship with the Mackems, didn't he?

Had replicas at both grounds.

The New Hop On

Even Tony Shalhoub couldn't get them out of this mess.

Nah, it's definitely that bloke Stifler's stepdad works with.

HMRC once tried to take the vast majority of my pay after giving me the wrong tax code that said my main source of income was actually a second job, however a quick phone call rectified the issue. I can see why people are drawing comparisons between them and murderous Sicilian crime families.

There are contra deals for the ads at the airport for both NUFC and SAFC from what I understand. Clubs get their branding plastered on the walls, airport get ads/corporate boxes at the ground.