BlueStar

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BPIUmxYCMAAauQg.jpg

I know you don't become a bad manager in one season, and it's a fair question to say if he's clueless how come we finished 5th last season? Thing is, things didn't go wrong that season. We hit the ground running from the off and everything seemed to just fall into place. Of course, he deserves credit for keeping that going. But Pardew's main flaw seems to be that he doesn't know how to change it when things ARN'T working . And that seems to count short term and long term. Are there games, seasons or distinct periods where we've started poorly and turned it around?

Shad Khan, owner of the NFL's Jacksonville Jaguars, agrees to buy Fulham. http://prod.static.jaguars.clubs.nfl.com/assets/images/team/management/shad-khan.jpg He looks like Ron Jeremy's Mexican cousin Juan Jeremy.

Cover the feet and the tail looks like a semi-on kitty cock. Hope he pulls his socks up.

Nah, reckon it's a no go

How come the confidence he expouses in his own ability in interviews isn't mirrored in the way he sets up to play - ie shit scared, negative, on the back foot and the perpetual underdog in every game.

Whether you judge him on his words or his actions, it's difficult not to come to the same conclusion.

We've been really, really unfortunate to have Pardew in charge of our cup games.

Something about that just tickles me Sounds like a quote from Hello magazine, splashed across an article in a neon star "YES, we want a baby!"

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-united-manager-alan-pardew-5071775

You can't expect us to make signings with our director of football on holiday man, we need his input or we could end up buying any old rubbish.

Bars won't be opening up early though. I'd be willing to bet at least some will. Doesn't Wetherspoons open at stupid o'clock on Sundays anyway and serve beer not long after? I'd be surprised if most people weren't on the sauce by 11.

4pm kick off for these lot away is going to make for a fun day both at the SoL and in town. People are mortal enough by 12 on derby day. If we sign Bent and he scores against them the game will probably end up abandoned.

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/kits/169861/obafemi-martins-uses-football-shirts-from-his-many-former-clubs-to-upholster-his-dining-room-chairs-photos.html

A good job at fucking what? In the vague description of his job role it sounds like Carr and Pardew identify the targets, he goes and takes them to Mike and Mike funds the transfer. What exactly constitutes doing a good job in this role? Not getting lost in the corridor? Wow, thanks Joe, aside from acting like a fucking clown on the radio at every opportunity, you managed to not fuck everything up and things turned out just as well as if we weren't fucking paying you to be here. Congratulations. If we make a great signing and Joe claims he personally identified the player, negotiated the contract, sold the club's vision to him, went and picked him up from London, arranged his house sale, shipped over his cat and scared off rival suitors, will anyone believe him anyway? No.

If he keeps going at this rate he's going to be the answer to a lot of trivia questions by the time he retires.

Hey, during his time as Governor of the Bank of England, Joe Kinnear made the bold decision to lower interest rates to a ground breaking 0.5%. I think he knows what he's doing.

Every time I see his twitter bio I can imagine him going "Well, you know, I probably won't make it as a professional footballer, as I don't have the aptitude for it, if I'm honest. At the end of the day, my poor character limits the amount of success I can have. I'll likely end up in jail and bankrupt, and it'll be down to my own bad choices. But what can I say, I'm a realist." Then I realise he means realest. Sorry, I mean REALESSSTTT.

Alan Pardew assures Newcastle United fans over summer signings http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/alan-pardew-assures-newcastle-united-4881441

Steven Taylor wanted by QPR manager Harry Redknapp http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/steven-taylor-wanted-qpr-manager-4881095

It'll be reduced to a beating on appeal.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/south-american-football-referee-beheaded-fans-killing-player-084120459.html Shit the bed

If anyone's been busy today, us pulling out of the race will be the first news they've heard of our interest.

I hope Ashley really does have a blueprint, on a big easel like Wile E Coyote. Why was our interest hot enough to be cooled if he doesn't fit in with our plans?

Whey it's not in the Chronicle until tomorrow