Rich

Obvious troll is obvious.

Now the retained list is out, here's where I think we'll land (roughly speaking) come the close of the window. This is with a rough gross spend of £141–160M from that poll the other day. I know I've done Little Joe dirty, but shoe-horning Big Joe in as starting LW was hurting my OCD too much. Even though he may well begin the season there. It could easily become a 4-2-3-1 chart by using Longstaff, Bruno, Joelinton, and McSauce as the pivot players, and nudging Maddison, Willock, and Anderson forward into a #10 box. We'd be fine for the 25-man PL squad, as Anderson still doesn't need registering and you're basically just omitting one of Dummett or Ritchie from this list. I've gone with Ritchie simply because of how stocked we'd be in midfield/out wide versus at the back. The UCL squad is trickier. You can risk going with two goalkeepers by omitting Gillespie, but we'd still need to omit one of the other "trained in nation" players. Targett or Murphy would be the two candidates there, you'd think, which would be a killer for either. Murphy is probably the safer bet, again based on how much theoretically stronger we are in the forward positions body-wise. ?

Aye, and no glorious return for Wor Tim .

From the depths of page nine...

https://www.nufc.co.uk/news/latest-news/magpies-confirm-retained-list-for-202324-season/ Newcastle United has confirmed the club's retained list for the 2023/24 season. Ciaran Clark and Matty Longstaff are among the players who will leave the Magpies at the end of their contracts, although the latter will continue to receive treatment on the knee injury he suffered in December last year. Clark, 33, joined United from Aston Villa in August 2016 and was the club's player of the year as they won the Championship title in his first campaign. He made 127 appearances for the Magpies in all competitions, scoring 11 times, and spent last season on loan with Sheffield United, helping them gain promotion to the top flight. Academy product Longstaff famously scored the winner on his Premier League debut against Manchester United in October 2019. He netted three further goals in a total of 20 appearances, and has spent time on loan with Aberdeen, Mansfield Town and Colchester United. The former England under-20 international is currently undergoing rehabilitation from an anterior cruciate ligament injury, which the club are supporting him through. The club have triggered an option to retain Matt Ritchie's services for another season, while offers have been made to Paul Dummett and Loris Karius. The club have taken an option to extend Mark Gillespie's contract for another year, while Dan Burn has activated another year on his existing contract based on appearances. Chris Wood will make a permanent move to Nottingham Forest on 1st July after spending the second half of last season on loan at the City Ground. Also leaving the club are Harry Barclay, Niall Brookwell, Dan Langley, Joe Oliver, Josh Stewart and Isaac Westendorf. United have activated options to extend the stays of Amadou Diallo and Michael Ndiweni while contract offers have been made to Will Brown, Nathan Carlyon, Kyle Crossley, James Huntley, Jamie Miley and Josh Scott. At under-18 level, second-year scholars Ben Parkinson and Ciaran Thompson have agreed professional contracts while Eden Page has taken the option of a third-year scholarship as he continues his recovery from a long-term injury. Beau Beresford, Steven Bessent, Lucas Cooper, Callum McNally and Nathan Nkunku will depart the Academy this summer. Newcastle United thanks all of the players leaving St. James' Park for their efforts and wishes them every success for the future.

I'm convinced he could play up front and be effective these days, he's a completely different player. Absolute animal.

Farewell, sweet prince.

All that carry on made me chuckle when Maldini got binned last week.

He made his professional debut in 2019, he'd been on City's books from age nine. He's home grown by both the PL and UEFA's definitions.

Aye. Is Gueye the only outwardly homophobic player in the league, currently? Or have more of the religious types emerged since then?

Seems like he’s predominantly played as the left-sided 8 or as a 10 this season.

Do it, Jack.

Think that could be canny, aye.

IT BEGINS

Also fits with seemingly every other NUFC song having "dynamite" in it, too, which is nice.

I feel like I'm losing it, but I'm sure I can hear it from Shields.

Don't overthink it, Matt.

A couple of Isaks and a few Popes and we'll be just fine next season. Not every player that will significantly improve us will have to cost £60M+.