Theregulars

“Yes Michael, we will make you our highest paid player despite your open contempt for the club and fanbase, and trigger a needless pay rise for an ageing shearer in the process”

Excellent use of “pissfarting”

To say this guy is worth more than Isak and double Botman is just silly. Bloke is on record as being anti our owners. Probably thinks this is a right good laugh.

I think they raise the price each time, saying you can have him for X then move goalposts again. They can be small time if they like, that’s fine - we can get other players just as useful for less money and less public nonsense.

I disagree, I no longer think they’re negotiating in good faith.

They’re entitled to do so but it’s time to move on now. They’re not serious negotiators.

Oh I hope Eddie hangs that in the dressing room. What a slap in the face.

Please excuse us.

My take on it all is that Parish didn't actually say anything incorrect: we haven't met their valuation and it's open to others to do so, highlighting this when Guehi is possibly at the peak of his value (although it's credible to think it might get higher after another season of impressive stats and consistent selections or England). It may be that they did reject bid 3 but will go back to it at the point at which it's the only credible offer on the table. He's a long way from saying e.g. we have no intention of selling and the chat only starts once valuation is met. It is open to some scrutiny and question why some of our deals seem to take quite a while to play out, but as others have pointed out if this was dead in the water or moving near that conclusion you'd think one of the journalists with some plausible source or link would be saying so. I do think there's a reality where Palace keep him and gamble his value goes up (e.g. if they can persuade him to sign an extension on higher wages with an agreement that he can leave if a certain valuation isn't met by a certain point next summer). I think if the player wants it, it will probably happen, but not until window's end.

Have you no immediate evidence of the club literally never doing this since the takeover

Did he though? Didn't pick him much and did talk about the need for positional discipline.

Does it not count for anything, in anybody's measure, that Howe rates him?

Well both Rafael Benitez and Eddie Howe picked him frequently, and in my view both of them are good judges of quality.

Ah come on, man. He’s a good player. Eminently capable of being improved upon but to my mind he’s been a lot more good than bad. Worst you can say is he’s frustrating.

If only the player felt the same way about you, Steve. He's not a generational talent either. Tedious, tedious club with a tedious, tedious fanbase.

Oh that’s the G spot right there

Zubimendi sociedad shirt ordered for all walks around London

He’d get an updated version of the shola song I reckon. Name has exactly the right bounce, cadence and pentameter. Keen on this basis alone

Hello nature, I'm vacuum. I don't much like you.

Chelsea give no fucks about competition between clubs and rivalry in my opinion. If it helps them launder money it’s on the table

Yeh I can sort of understand it from an outsider putting what they know together and drawing a conclusion, but I’ve just not got the impression that we’re run by idiots, short-termists or hotheads. It’s interesting food for thought to wonder what happens if we finish 7th again in similar circumstances (injuries everywhere), mind.

To be clear I was mainly joking, although I do think the central premise of your view - that it was a poor season which showed Howe in a bad light - is wrong. I don’t know how the ultimate owners viewed it all but you’d hope there’s a sensible voice in there somewhere which explains that, if you consider context, it was actually quite a good but ultimately frustrating season. Clearly they have some concern about methods and injuries, but I don’t take that to mean he’s on performance probation.

😂

Why did you come back?

Coming up for this one. Osula to score