Theregulars

In other news, I’m interested in playing quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, filling Foals’ vacancy on the bass and becoming a taster for Brewdog #holdthefrontpage

Bumpetty bump for what I see as the imminent departure of Sarri

BBC sport saying it’s a foul. Argh ffs man; it’s just so wrong. Undone twice by FC Money Laundering Ft. Bentref

Hate to say it but it’s the exact kind of crap that happens to teams that go down.

Because football is that simple.... With insight like that, you should get a spot on the Guardian Footy podcast mate. Neesy shall I ship you some ointment for that most severe of burns?

By which you mean his insistence on drinking like a repressed fresher is not cut out for the rigours of professional football

Kenedy and Dubravka started immediately didn’t they?

If you’d have told me when I was a kid that one person could make me lose my love for NUFC I’d have laughed my chubby child little tits off at you. Yet he’s managed it. It’s like that episode of South Park where George Lucas rapes Star Wars - he is just botting us into the ground while waving money in the air. Bet he’s got a weird choad and all.

You would imagine Sam Allardyce or David Moyes - probably the latter as he will come cheap as no other club in the top flight would pay money for his services.

I love Rafa to bits but he’s obsessed with not losing at home against fellow strugglers. Totally shows what he thinks of the side.

Got to say that Rafa set us up far too negatively agains opposition of such little quality. No invention, no craft, no ideas. Really boring workmanlike tripe.

Get Ritchie off corners man

Our crossing is so, so rancid

Half time probably wrong time for us; we’re warming up a bit. Don’t get why we can’t put our foot down; these are poor.

Ritchie is frustratingly unintelligent. Constantly gives away utterly pointless fouls.

Fairly cagey match between two poor sides, both afraid to make a mistake.

He’s elbowed Pérez in the face there

Been one of our best players this season

Gutted.

It’s about as realistic as me telling you that T’Kuvma has led a consortium of wealthy dissident Klingons, to be fronted by lieutenant commander Worf, to run the club with a herd of bloodthirsty androids to be signed on January 7th.

Got a spare to the spurs game. Atmosphere like a friendly; and I was in the “ultras” section.

Postponed until tomorrow

Hope they sit down in protest

Good - atleti are wankers

Surely Bayern are gonna sack Kovac