Shak

Agree with Kaka, tbh. Would be funny if he took a knee in the face and lost a few teeth. He'd stop that shite fairly sharpish then.

Elliot Janmaat Mbemba Lascelles Anita Sissoko Shelvey Wijnaldum SDJ Townsend Mitrovic That's what I'd like to see. Haidara/Dummett in for Anita if fit. Think we might see the same front six as yesterday though, maybe SDJ gets a start. Afraid he'll persist with the same wingers on the wrong side craic though, unfortunately.

He'll blatantly be made captain if we go down.

I subscribe to this. I think there's too much emphasis put on tracking back and fouling people and we've got Pardew to thank for that in part. He has put in dozens of pathetic performances in which he blatantly hasn't put in any sort of effort. It really isn't difficult to get your head round at all. To be fair I've missed a lot of our games this year due to not giving much of a fuck. However it seems that people are saying that he didn't put any effort in yesterday or against Leicester and I saw those games and can't agree with that.

Can't get my head around the school of thought that he doesn't work hard. Think he usually puts a good shift in tbh. His problem is that he's a bit of a donkey when he tries to play a final ball. I'd like to see him in a three man midfield with Shelvey and SDJ.

Looked lively out there yesterday, can beat a man and put in a couple of useful crosses. Had a few moments that were a bit worrying in terms of how he reads the game though. We had one break where Mitro dropped deep, laid it off to Wijnaldum and then Gini played a ball down the flank into space for Townsend to run on to. Townsend though had inexplicably stopped his run and was looking for it short. I know miscommunications happen all the time but I thought it was particularly bad, there was no way in hell he should have stopped his run. There were a few other times where his teammates had it and I was yelling at him to move too. Hopefully things will get better as he gets more games under his belt. Would prefer him out left at the moment though. We provide no threat down that side and I reckon he's our best bet.

Cisse on the right?

Feel like he'd be a pretty incredible RB if he dedicated himself to that role. Not gonna happen though. Think he should be a CM alongside Shelvey.

Gonna be interested to see if he gets a sniff in CM once his suspension is over and we get some LBs back. I'd hope Rafa sees him for the shitcunt he is, but he really has been untouchable since he joined. Can imagine it now. Rafa ditches him, we go down anyway, retarded new Britmanager comes in and makes this ginger cocksucker captain next year. We get lots of interviews about how Benitez just didn't understand what the Geordies want. I won't be able for it.

Thought he did a decent job in CM tbh, doesn't look a role he's suited to at all but carried it forward well a few times and had a few nice touches. Long term he shouldn't be playing CM though, and I'm not sure playing just off the striker suits him either. I'd start him wide right the next game. Think he showed on the goal that one on one with the FB he can beat his man and then put in a delivery, which we desperately need. Would also allow him to do what he did so well on the left earlier in the year, namely drifting inside and getting on the end of chances in the box and scoring goals. Problem was on the left he couldn't contribute a lot in build up play, as he always had to cut inside when in possession. On the right he could take on the defender and get a cross in though.

That's what I typed out then decided not to post. Had SDJ in the hole though.

Any thoughts? I have NO IDEA what our best team is right now. Perez and Wijnaldum being our two best attack minded players yet neither really having a best position is a real fuck up tbh. I'd be tempted to give Sissoko a go in CM next to Shelvey but choosing the rest of the front six is fucking tough.

Sissoko left, Townsend right needs to go away sharpish. No threat down the flanks playing like that. Especially ridiculous when we've got Mitrovic at CF.

Looks terrified of the ball. If he can get over that he might have some potential.

He's be so fucking good if he wasn't shite.

De Jong kicked immediately. Lukemia from that, I'll guess.

Commentator really knows what type of player SDJ is.

Need a change, they're starting to look comfortable again.

Worst player? Perez, for me. Caught in possession every time the ball gets near him. He and Mitro offer nothing at all. Sissoko has been clumsy as fuck as usual, Shelvey looks hesistant on the ball. Defense as a whole looks retarded. Townsend has flashed with the ball at his feet. Holy fuck is he brain dead though, he plays like he has football autism. Doesn't ever read what his teammates are going to do. Wijnaldum has had some nice moments. He must be amazing in 5 a side games, fuck knows what his position is in a real game though.

Half time on a corner.

Deserve to be losing. Cowardly wankers. Not one good performance, most of them have been a complete embarrassment.

Rape these cunts!!

Oh no you didn't!

Shelvey and Wij in CM, Sissoko on the right, Townsend left, Perez off Mitro? Would prefer Sissoko in CM personally, but happy if that's the team.