Shak

Soft goal?

Fucking yes!! What a fucking goal!!

People calling Sissoko shit for that. Brilliantly reads a pass, intercepts it, beats two defenders, powers forward. Gets a shot off, doesn't quite get it right. "You're shite!!"

Good to see Daniel Bryan has found work after WWE. Pity he's fucking relegated us in the process though.

So far offside. Such a shit sport. Fuck off.

They have Everton in Wednesday, us on Saturday then Villarreal on Thursday. Couldn't ask for a better time to play them really. Still have a hard time seeing us get anything other than a hot, firm bumming off them though.

Obertan right, Townsend left. Mitro up top with Cisse... God help me I think I'd be happy with that. I do believe 4-4-2 is the only system that has a chance to work for us right now.

Both of those players deserve to be dropped. I really hope it's not for Colback though.

Either him or Cisse have to play tomorrow. Either give Mitrovic a partner or else play an AM who actually has a clue how to play the position.

Honestly think tomorrow is the last chance for us to give ourselves a fighting chance. A win might just give the players a bit of belief to carry into the last five fixtures. Think the atmosphere on Tuesday night against City would be absolutely cracking if our fans got just a little bit of encouragement from the team. After that, only Liverpool away is a fixture that I'm pretty certain we'll get tonked in. Even then, that game comes right after the Merseyside derby and before their Europa League semi so perhaps they'll be a little flat. Still likely enough to beat us mind, but it's at least something. If we can get some momentum over the next week and stay within touching distance you couldn't ask for a better pair of fixtures than Palace and Villa. If we manage to take it to the last day then hopefully Leicester will have the league sewn up and Spurs will have nothing to play for other than the players trying to keep fit for the Euros. Still hope IMO, but we really need to get the fucking finger out.

This is my (ever cynical) thinking. I have every confidence Rafa is an honest man but he's subject to the whims of liars and madmen.

Anything other than Cisse and Mitrovic up top together will be very disappointing. Mitrovic looks an entirely different animal with a proper striker alongside him and Cisse looks a threat too when they're up there together. They've been on the pitch at the same time for about 70 minutes since Benitez took over. We've scored three goals in that time, all Mitro. We've managed one goal in about 300 minutes otherwise. We're not going to be able to put together a slick attacking unit over the next few weeks. Honestly think a simple 4-4-2, two solid banks of four with wingers trying to provide service for the front two, is our only chance getting a few results over the coming weeks.

Trying to pull the finger out, but it's been there so long that he fucking broke it in the process.

When he's beats two people like it's nothing and shifts it onto his left foot to have a crack at goal what are these people thinking? "Here he is again the lazy cunt with his tricks and pace, if this hits the post and we lose possession I'll be fucking fuming."

Big, inbred looking Englishman like Shelvey? Lazy? Impossible marra.

The people who took Pardew's side and wrote Ben Arfa of as "selfish and lazy" are just in too deep at this point. They're not going to come out and say "Yeah, I guess I'm just an idiot who knows nothing about football." He could go to Atletico Madrid in the summer and score 15 goals and be one of the best players in the Champions League and they'd still try and justify their shit opinions.

If we were going to just sign one defender then no, this fella shouldn't have been who we went for. Had we gotten rid of our joke of a captain and signed a tall, imposing CB to partner Mbemba he'd have been a very nice addition. Was cheaper to extend Colo though, so instead we went into the season with two short CBs. Basic story of our squad. We just buy players we think might be good. There's no plan for how they might complement the other players they'll be playing alongside, no attempt to build a team that might actually work. Just buying assets in the hope that we can sell them on later for a profit. God we deserve to go down so much.

Anybody who didn't rate Ben Arfa is unlikely to be literate tbh, so articles like this achieve nothing.

I'd probably go with this. Depressing as that is.

Agree. First half yesterday we found it impossible to get the ball into Norwich's half, never mind look like creating chances. Expecting the ball to stick up front with Cisse and his flubber ankles leading the line and the invisible man in Wijnaldum playing just off him was insane. We were basically just giving it straight back to Norwich every time we got the ball. Actually being able to keep the ball and push teams back and make them defend us for a change would be the best thing we could do for our horrible defenders.

After yesterday I'm convinced that our only hope for the rest of the year is to play Cisse and Mitrovic up top together. Cisse up top on his own is a disaster because he can't hold the ball up worth a shit. Mitro meanwhile looks a completely different man with a partner alongside him. So while I've never been a huge fan of 4-4-2 generally, right now it looks like the best option to me. Darlow Janmaat Mbemba Lascelles Sissoko Townsend Shelvey Tiote Perez Cisse Mitrovic The defense is hardly worth talking about. They're pretty much all shite, but less shite than the alternatives. Maybe. Sissoko is probably the best bet at LB. No worse defensively than the other options there and actually has the energy to get up and down the flank and offer us something going forward. Being at LB also takes him away from our midfield, where he's become an utter waste of space. Tiote. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Saivet seems to be a non factor and if we're going 4-4-2 I figure we need a proper ball winner and Tiote is basically the only option. Shelvey alongside him in CM, let him try and hit Mitrovic with some of his long passes. On the wings it was two of Perez, Townsend and Wijnaldum and after yesterday's shitshow I think you have to drop Wijnaldum. He was so shit. Personally still would prefer Townsend on the left, but it seems that's not an option for some reason. I know that SDJ probably deserves a game but realistically you need to play him as a #10 with a functioning pass and move team around him. We are so far away from being able to put a team like that on the pitch that it's ridiculous to try at this point.

Yesterday was so fucking brutal. Had we just held on for a draw we'd be in with a really decent chance, IMO. Gonna take something special now, though.

To think, Pardew wanted Coloccini at Palace. McClaren wanted rid and for a big, imposing CB to take his place. We extended Coloccini cos it was cheaper than buying someone new. Fucking typical of the wankers in charge. Shortsighted, stupid fucking cunts.

We put crosses in for him. We've got crosses in before and he's been flat on his feet and not even challenged, way different today I'd imagine it really helps that he has another striker in there alongside him when these crosses are coming in.

We do love signing players with no discernible best position.