Dr Spectrum

We're having plenty of the ball and they aren't hurting us much but I put that down to superior ability of our players. We still aren't creating much, aren't getting behind them and aren't getting down the side. I fucking hate this formation.

Great way to stand by your manager. Stand by him? I've wanted the cunt out for months. He's a fucking shite manager, he doesn't care about my club and is a TWAT. He's just lucky he has this persona from his playing days that spares him from the widespread national critism he deserves. PS: Ole, Ole, indeed.

We're fucking shite aren't we. Pearce really is a stupid fucking twatface twat. How can he drop Isaksson after his performance last week for an average half-fit keeper. And how many times do we need to play this 5-3-2 shite to know its shite for building attacks. Totally bossing the ball but can't get anywhere with it unless Trabelsi gets it...and thats only due to his individual abilty rather than any form of tactic...if we turn this round it will be in spite of Twatface Pearce. The twat. >

Their home form has been pretty consistent throughout the season so I'm not sure there is much of a comparison to be made between before/after the Sissoko injury(Chelsea and Bolton very comfortably beaten btw!). But away from home early on this season they got absolutely gubbed at Everton, beaten pretty nicely by Bolton and held by Sheff U...Since theyve won quite a few away games against the relegation fighters VERY comfortably...not faced much of the proper teams apart from yous, Blackburn and Spurs where fair enough they've lost 2 won 1...I still think that qualifies as an improvement!

Pointless IMO. To me it looks like all he's going to be learning is how to cope when the crowd gets on your back for being shite!

Disagree. Their best results have come since Sissoko did his shoulder. I don't think they won a game away from home beforehand and they've got 5 since. And Gerrard himself didn't score once from the right wing. ^-^

Don't see the point of this playing him on the wing then move him up front idea - He's fucking shite on the wing - Not that skillfull and couldn't cross the road...but when he's played up front he's been much better...he was awesome for England U21 vs Germany and I think thats where he played for Southampton? I'd be just using him as a forward full time, I know he'd get less games but all these shite performances can't be doing him much good mentally.

80% of the rediculous ammount of money generated goes to the clubs who compete in it - who are already fucking loaded beyond all reason - giving them the transfer budget, wage bill, and pulling power to keep them on top. It will keep clubs like Manchester City, Newcastle, Tottenham, Everton, Villa, etc, from ever winning anything major ever again. EVER. FACT. I question its existence. Its a fucking cartel for G14 and co. > I hope they bring in all this cheerleader shite so it can die on its arse. It won't give us our game back - They'll just change it back to get the ratings up so they can all keep their fucking money - but at least it'll make me feel a little better about not being involved with such cringetastic shite.

Is he any good then? I've never seen him play and I can't say I have much expectations of players signed on a free from Al Rayyan...

I'd vote for either Krustiano Ronaldo or Didier Drogba - depending on who wins the league. Makes sense to me, rather than voting in January like the players do. Scholes, Essien also make the top 6...plus one other token star name such as Rooney or Lampard, plus one token "well done, but who the fook do you think youre kidding" nomination from someone from Reading/Bolton/Pompey. Ronaldo young player of the year if he doesnt win the main one. Fabregas to win it if he does. Richards bumped off to 3rd.

Robinho has done a whole lot better than some next Peles. What about Pele's son...Played in goal for Santos...before being sent down for Murder Altho I'm not sure they have "Next" Pele's in Brazil...they seem to have a great player or 3 in every generation. Robinho was probably just the best player in the Brazilian league before he left - every other fucker with half an ounce of ability (Kaka, Diego, Ronaldinho...) was already over here in Spain or Germany and whatnot. I don't think he's owt special and really can't see him being the next big thing for Brazil or anyone. I wouldn't be suprised if he's disapeared off the radar by the time of the next World Cup.

He's the new Curtis Davies. To be fair I think its understandable...most people don't really pay attention to players unless they're doing something spectacular...but once their name starts cropping up being linked to a move they're under the spotlight. Woe is the player who has a shit game on TV after their name appears on a forum. And Ben Haim was fkn shocking last night. Should have been booked 4 times minimum.

Joey Barton is a good player, vastly improved and really fulfilling his potential...but he is not the best midfielder in the league no matter what way you look at it. Essien/Scholes have been the best this season IMO (Even if Essien has been arsed about by the Terry injury). Richards has been playing in a back 5 quite a bit of late too, I'm not sure he qualifies as a RB given how little he crosses the half way line in that formation. Steve Finnan is the best RB in the league IMO. I'd put Arteta ahead of the monstorously overrated Giggs too.

Should Beckham be brought back? No chance. IMO he was very lucky to avoid being dropped a lot sooner - He should have been dropped years ago (Back in the days that SWP was ace) but held on because of the captaincy. He's not performed for England for a good few years, he's never been able to beat a man but nowadays he can't even get near the byline. His contribution of late has been nowt but his trademark "crosses" (from 40/50 yards out), the long diagonal ball over the defense (Again, and again, and again) and drifting inside looking for the ball - absolute shite IMO but weve carried him because of that little piece of cloth round his arm and tried to justify it by saying he can take a set piece (Even tho we have plenty of other players capable of shooting and hardly anyone capable of attacking a corner). Do I want that back? No ta. I'd rather give Milner a go.

I don't know about waiting that long but I'm not sure about having a statue of him outside the ground if he takes over as manager...

That list must be a load of shite.... I dont remember the Hirst goal and I can't find it on YouTube but I can find a volley Beckham scored against Chelsea.....theres no fkn way it was 97 mph....more like 70? The Martins effort is comfortably harder (Altho I think the TV angle makes it look faster than most). Really I reckon most of these measurements must be way off, whatever they use to measure it (I presume theyre just working out off the TV pictures) is not exact enough. Guesswork. And theres some right bloody woofters on there. It should be full of guys with tree thighs...Batistuta at the swamp?

I see what you did there Thats a little bizarre.....

Vidic is nothing special. He is great in the air and that counts for a lot in this league but he is continually caught out when Evra goes walkies and he is dragged out to the left. Very ordinary when he's exposed one on one...Stephen Ireland made a fool of him when Trabelsi scored in the derby, Sheringham made a mug out of him when West Ham beat them - and thats just the ones that resulted in goals that spring to mind, it happens quite often. Reminds me of Hyypia.

Gallas Terry Toure Ferdinand Carragher

Sinclair?!? Matchwinner?!?! At What, Tiddlywinks?! The only team who should be thinking of signing Sinclair are the QPR masters team.... And altho I do think Moore is total shite, Bramble at least can perform occasionally...altho anyone who signs him is going to be taking a risk given his 'reputation'. He's more of a 3 or 4/10 IMO. If yous want Sylvain "8/10" Distin back you're going to have some competition...he is currently recieving a few looks from Harry Redknapp - he claims Distin is definetly leaving us the summer (suprise suprise) and he wants him down there... Link

What did he do?

Watford. Wigan are a league 1 club with Premiership finance. Have no right to be here. West Ham deserve to go down. The team is full of shite big time charlies, the management is worse - the ammount of money theyve spunked on shite is pathetic - Curbishley keeps falling out with players and both him and Pardew persistently pick Zamora and Harewood ahead of Tevez. And they could have signed their own death warrant by releasing a competent manager when Charlton were up shit creek with only Les Reed for a paddle. Comes down to Charlton vs Watford...and I like Adie Boothroyd.

James is a much better goalie than Robinson IMO. I'd pick Richards ahead of Neville. I think he adds a lot more to the team than you would lose if you left out Neville's experience. Hardly any other England players can attack a set piece for one. Ferdinand has always been very good for England in my book and is definetly worth a place - One of the first names on the team sheet. Ledley King ahead of Terry for me. Terry has consistently looked ropey at International level wheras King has never let us down. The "automatic" selection Terry is afforded due to being a good captain at club level is one of the biggest travesties of the current team. Ashley Cole picks himself - No competition. James Milner on the right? Is there a more effective player on the right at the moment? Not as spectacular as Lennon but he's delivering, and has been very good for U21s for a long while. Worth a go IMO. Gerrard in the middle. Suffered with the woeful Lampard alongside him but he's still come thru for us before. Hargreaves alongside him. Need some balance in there. Joe Cole on the left. Only player we've had who has come close to doing owt in that position in years. Rooney and Owen up front. Cut above the competition. James Richards Ferdinand King A.Cole Milner Gerrard Hargreaves J.Cole Rooney Owen Scholes time has probably gone. Probably best English player of his generation (Why the hell was he fooked off for Lampard at Euro2004?!?) but he's not interested any more. Beckhams time has DEFINETLY gone and it has been for years. Legs have gone, hasnt been near a byline in an England shirt for years, crosses/passes from far too deep. Woefully innefective for me.

Foster - 6 - Spectator Gary Chuckle - 5 - Ordinary Ferdinand - 7 - Class Woodgate - 6 - OK Phil Chuckle - 4 - Absymal (Too much backing off) Carrick - 0 - ABSOFUCKING LUTELY WOEFUL. Only gets in the side cos of who he plays for. Lampard - 4 - Shite "out" of position. Shite in position. NOT AN ENGLAND PLAYER. Needs the side built around him and its not gonna happen. Gerrard - 6 - OK SWP - 5 - Way short. Terrified fullback but didn't do enough when had a chance. Shouldn't get picked until hes playing. Dyer - 7 - Lively. Probably most dangerous attacking player Crouch - 5 - Nothing from the ref but he is a bit shite. ---- Barry - 6 - Pretty comfortable. I'd pick him again and give him a proper chance in midfield from the start. Richards - 7 - IMO he is a big improvement on Neville...he makes things happen when he gets going Barton - / - I thought he did a decent job. Used ball well, nice to see a bit of aggresion Downing - / - Decent cross? McClaren - Minus a Gajillion. FOR BEING A CUNT. >

And Lawro says - Lampard and Gerrard, can they play together? Thats the not the question for me. It should be - Can Frank Lampard play at this level at all?